. Regurgitated Alpha Bits: June 2012

Friday, June 8, 2012

The Final Mile

The year is almost over for me.

You know what that means.

This will be my last post about lame mile run excuses this year. Hopefully.

This week's winner belongs to a kid who has the potential to be a fairly decent athlete if his mom would just encourage his talents instead of enabling his desires to remain motionless.

...or not. You decide.

It stated:

Please excused my son angelo from not running today. He has a swallon tongue  finger on his foot and it hurts. 

Mrs. X

Where do I begin?

Do I address why he has a finger, that used to be a tongue, on his foot?

Maybe he lost a toe and they replaced it with a finger.

Maybe it had originally been replaced with a tongue, but then things began tasting funny (kinda like feet) (or like jam) (or like cheese), and so they replaced it with a finger.

(But then wouldn't things begin to feel funny?)

...and now it's swallen.

Well, either way, I think I get it now. All clear!

Since I devised a theory on that part (no pun intended) of the note, let's discuss the first sentence.

"excused my son angelo from not running..."

Was she really asking me to excuse him from NOT running?

Ssssooooo she wanted him TO run?

On his finger-toed foot.

That is swallon.

And tongueless.

Maybe running brings down the swalling in finger-toes.

Maybe THAT'S why they took off the tongue! When he ran, it just flapped around and could trip him.

It was a safety hazard.

Hence, the need for the finger-toe.

AND the need for exercise now. He simply couldn't when he had the tongue-toe, but now he can.

THAT makes sense!

Wow! It looks like she did want him to run.

I toe-tally misunderstood that one.

I hope he doesn't point a finger at me as a bad teacher.