tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-84589374432613850912024-03-06T01:11:20.207-08:00Regurgitated Alpha BitsStories from a teacher who loves her students, wrestles with her job, and mourns the fact that they used to be the same thing.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.comBlogger240125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-62347549312634228972016-09-28T19:23:00.000-07:002016-09-28T19:23:21.368-07:00Keep It Clean, PeopleThe other morning, I had a lovely conference with a lovely parent about their child's progress. English is not Dad's first language, however he speaks it pretty well.<br />
<br />
Me: In class, we are working on writing more complex sentences rather than just simple sentences.<br />
<br />
Dad: That's good, because I noticed in her homework that her sentences aren't as....uh....sexy as I'd like them to be.<br />
<br />
Me: __________<br />
<br />
Dad: You know...detailed. That's what sexy means, right?<br />
<br />
Me: ______sure...Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-62056096144861695812016-09-01T18:30:00.001-07:002016-09-01T18:30:34.270-07:00You've Got a FriendMy teaching partners and I take different rotations for PE each day.<div><br></div><div>My focus is on developing the kids' cardio-respiratory endurance. Right now, w<span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">e're working on jogging without stopping for 2 minutes, and it's HARD for the kids.</span></div><div><br></div><div>I asked them to encourage classmates who they see struggling. As I said to them, anyone can run past a person having a hard time, but a special person cheers them on.</div><div><br></div><div>We started the jog, and pretty quickly Marcus started struggling. He's a sweet kid, but life is not easy for him. He's not a fan of PE, not super popular with the other kids and not always willing to push himself in anything.</div><div><br></div><div>Nathaniel, a freckle-faced little guy, jogged up next to him when he saw him huffing and puffing.</div><div><br></div><div>He put his hand on Marcus' back and said, "You can do it, Buddy. Let's do it together!"</div><div><br></div><div>Nathaniel jogged next to Marcus the rest of the time, keeping his hand on his back and cheering him on. It was amazing to watch.</div><div><br></div><div>That afternoon I got to do what we teachers do not often have a chance to do. I got to write a note to parents letting them know what a terrific son they have raised. </div><div><br></div><div>And I recognized that I need to be more like Nathaniel.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04452863006387727214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-45452873931904864522016-08-27T10:03:00.001-07:002016-08-27T10:03:47.063-07:00What Does Home Mean?Many many years ago I had a sweet little girl in my third grade class. She and her family were new immigrants from Mexico, and all five of them shared a rented bedroom in someone's house. Both parents worked hard and pushed their kids to do well in school. Over the years, I taught all three of the kids in the family. They're all grown now. Everyone graduated from high school. The two youngest went on to college and the oldest is married and has son of her own.<div><br></div><div>Yesterday, I heard a voice calling out to me as I drove down the street after school. I see the mom of these kids waving at me excitedly from a porch. </div><div><br></div><div>"We live here now! This is our home now!!!" </div><div><br></div><div>She was so proud, and my heart swelled for her and her family. I'm sure that house represents much more than a home to them.</div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04452863006387727214noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-86071448262530861662016-08-04T10:25:00.000-07:002016-08-04T10:25:00.916-07:00It Pays to be NiceOne of my kids was really mean to another kid. <i>Really</i> mean.<br />
<br />
Me: I'm calling your parents.<br />
<br />
Him: No! They're gonna get mad.<br />
<br />
Me: <duh> I'm sure they will.</duh><br />
<br />
Him: They'll hit me.<br />
<br />
Me: <alarm bells=""> Where?</alarm><br />
<br />
Him: On my butt.<br />
<br />
Me: <false alarm=""> That's a bummer.</false><br />
<br />
Him: Tell me about it.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-74420527365750202982016-08-01T10:21:00.000-07:002016-08-01T10:21:00.180-07:00Kickball QueenI am not athletic.<br />
<br />
In any way.<br />
<br />
At all.<br />
<br />
Ever.<br />
<br />
But that doesn't stop me from participating the Teachers vs. 6th Graders annual kickball game.<br />
<br />
There was great news this year!<br />
<br />
I did NOT hit any kids in the face with a ball during that game.<br />
It was a refreshing change...<br />
<br />
What DID I do?<br />
<br />
1. Cheered on a teacher who ran clear across the field to get a ball that was dangerously close to becoming my responsibility.<br />
<br />
2. Made student spectators stand so I could drag their chairs out to the outfield and sit in them while I played. Assistant Right Field, to be precise.<br />
<br />
3. Took the "long way" out to the the outfield so I'd miss most of the inning at times, (Most times...)<br />
<br />
4. Convinced a teacher's teenaged daughter who was visiting for the day to run for me when I was up to kick.<br />
<br />
5. Called another teacher "delusional" when he suggested I "kick the ball low." (As if I have ANY control over where or how high that thing is gonna go.)<br />
<br />
6. Took about 98.9% of the credit for us KILLING those 6th graders.<br />
<br />
Take THAT, athletic skils!Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-59954843705185267642016-07-28T10:08:00.000-07:002016-07-28T10:08:00.739-07:00A Little Too Open HouseAt Open House this year, I had a fun little conversation with a fourth grader from my class and her second grade sister.<br />
<br />
Me: Wow! That's a nice diorama. That's a good grade on it too! Did you make it? <wink></wink><br />
<br />
2nd Grader: No. My mommy did.<br />
<br />
4th Grader (trying to save face): You helped!<br />
<br />
2nd: No I didn't.<br />
<br />
4th: Sure you did. You colored and painted.<br />
<br />
2nd: No I didn't.<br />
<br />
4th: You told Mom where to put stuff in the shoebox.<br />
<br />
2nd: No I didn't. She made it after I went to bed.<br />
<br />
4th: <dramatic eye="" roll=""> Well, you're not supposed to admit THAT to a teacher! You have a lot to learn. </dramatic>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-29188131279310561702016-07-25T10:01:00.000-07:002016-07-25T10:01:01.286-07:00A Toes to YouNot school related, but funny nonetheless.<br />
<br />
I got a pedicure recently. The lady in the chair next to me was a little wacky, and the lady doing her pedi did not speak great English.<br />
<br />
Wacky Lady: I want a flower on my big toe. I don't care what color. Make it red. No, make it black.<br />
<br />
Pedi Lady: What color?<br />
<br />
WL: Red! No, black. Make it black.<br />
<br />
PL: So, red?<br />
<br />
WL: Sure. That's fine. No, wait, make it black.<br />
<br />
PL: Sooooo, what color?<br />
<br />
WL: Red.<br />
<br />
PL: I'll make it red.<br />
<br />
WL: No, black. I want black.<br />
<br />
PL: Ok. ok. I'll make it for you.<br />
<br />
She got her flower.<br />
<br />
It was purple.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-3715516752863922532016-07-21T09:54:00.000-07:002016-07-27T13:33:31.838-07:00Boy Meets GirlOne of the kids' favorite topics in science is magnetic forces.<br />
<br />
I integrate Language Arts standards into my Science instruction, so we read a little story about a lonely magnet who can't ever get near his friends. They are alike and keep repelling away from each other, as magnets do when like poles face each other. Then one day, he meets a girl magnet who is the opposite of him, and he has an instant "attraction" to her.<br />
<br />
Then we had to talk about the multiple meanings for the word "attraction" since many of my kids are second language learners.<br />
<br />
And one kids says, "I get it. Attraction is what my mom feels when she sees a guy with a nice butt!"<br />
<br />
Yes. Yes, that's it exactly. Be sure to tell your mom you shared that in class.<br />
She'll be so proud of you.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-38880769180785065242016-07-18T09:45:00.000-07:002016-07-18T09:45:01.354-07:00Bridge Over Troubled LecturesI had to talk to a dad about how his fifth grade son, who's usually super sweet, was picking on some of my fourth graders.<br />
<br />
Clearly, Dad was not used to handling these situations, since his son is not often mean to others, so he fumbled his way through his lecture.<br />
<br />
Dad: Why did you do this?<br />
<br />
Kid: Jack was doing it, so I just started doing it too.<br />
<br />
Dad: Jack?!? Never follow what Jack is doing! He's always in trouble. NEVER follow what he's doing Ever! Not unless he's jumping off a bridge.<br />
<br />
Kid: _______<br />
<br />
Me: _______<br />
<br />
Dad: _______________ Wait. Scratch that. That's not quite the saying I thought it was. When he's jumping off a bridge, you jump too.<br />
<br />
Kid: ______<br />
<br />
Me: ______<br />
<br />
Dad: _______________________ Wait. Not that either. Don't even go on a bridge with Jack. Aaaaaannd, stop picking on fourth graders.<br />
<br />
Problem.<br />
<br />
Solved.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-5360743010912799262016-07-14T09:39:00.000-07:002016-07-14T09:39:00.157-07:00I'm Freeeee!I had to leave the confines of the school gates to talk with a parent at dismissal.<br />
<br />
As I walked past an SUV with the windows halfway down, I hear a little kid in the backseat say:<br />
<br />
"Hey! Who let that 4th grade teacher out?"Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-13099566709432280172016-07-11T09:36:00.000-07:002016-07-11T09:36:04.671-07:00AC/DSee I Know a SongDid I ever tell you about the time I was asked to record a kindergartener singing his favorite song?<br />
(Probably...)<br />
<br />
I was student teaching, and his name was James.<br />
<br />
My master teacher was awesome. She had so many songs for her class. The Good Morning Song, The Postman Song, The Clean Up Song, The Snack Song.<br />
<br />
So James, a tape recorder and I headed into the workroom to record him singing his favorite song in his best five-year-old-boy voice.<br />
<br />
Me: Alrighty, go ahead and sing!<br />
<br />
James: She was a fast machine<br />
She kept her motor clean<br />
She was the best damn woman<br />
I had<br />
ever seen...<br />
<br />
I let him sing the whole song in his best five-year-old-boy voice.<br />
<br />
And I think of him every time I hear it.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-66725909035854566082016-07-07T09:29:00.000-07:002016-07-07T09:29:07.372-07:00Cheesy StoryThis is not a school story, but it is a true story nonetheless.<br />
<br />
A cautionary tale about sending a rookie in to do a pro's job.<br />
<br />
This was overheard in the checkout line at the grocery store.<br />
<br />
Flustered and hurried Dad: Hey! Who put this giant bucket of cheese balls in the cart? Put these back!<br />
<br />
Kid: Uuummm, you did, Dad.<br />
<br />
Other kid: Yeh, that's right, you did. You said Mom would like them.<br />
<br />
Dad: I did? Well then...ok, I guess.<br />
<br />
Dad goes back to unloading the cart.<br />
<br />
The kids look at each other in total disbelief that that actually worked.<br />
<br />
And they spot me slowly shaking my head at their shenanigans.<br />
<br />
But smiling at their brilliance.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-34523495004180652622016-07-05T09:20:00.000-07:002016-07-05T09:20:03.615-07:00The State of Our Testing is SnottyThis year, very few exciting things happened during state testing.<br />
<br />
Here were some of the highlights from Day One:<br />
<br />
I watched a kid take his headphones off and use the foam parts to wipe his nose. That made me think, after dry-heaving over my desk drawer, maybe I should walk around and offer some tissues. One of my sneeziest, drippiest kids said "no thanks" to the tissues and then immediately wiped a big, wet line of snot onto his arm. The skin of his arm, not his sleeve. I turned away from him to throw up in my mouth when I spotted another kid rolling boogers into dirty little balls in his palm and shoving them between the keys of his chrome book.<br />
<br />
Day Two didn't go much differently.<br />
<br />
In fact, this is kind of every day in teaching.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-27145112670941488472016-06-30T09:08:00.000-07:002016-06-30T09:08:02.717-07:00Don't Pork HereHere's a little conversation I had with a nine-year-old at dismissal.<br />
<br />
Me: Hi Timmy! Did you have a good day today?<br />
<br />
Timmy: Of course!<br />
<br />
Me: What's the best part of your day?<br />
<br />
Timmy: Ever night a guy walks his pet pig past my house.<br />
<br />
Me: ___________<br />
<br />
Timmy: It's awesomer than it sounds.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-37007796413393881842016-06-27T10:00:00.000-07:002016-06-27T10:00:07.721-07:00Man Overboard<div style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><br /></span></span>
<br /></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 19.32px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">I had lunch with <a href="http://regurgitatedalphabits.blogspot.com/2015/09/in-high-demand.html" target="_blank">this kiddo</a>, and we read a story together. Right in the middle of the story, he turns to me:</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">Him: Do you think they'll ever invent an overboard chair?</span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;"><br /></span></span>
<span style="font-family: georgia, 'times new roman', serif; line-height: 19.32px;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">Me: A what?</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Him: An overboard chair.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #b45f06;"><span style="color: #783f04; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span>
</span><br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Me: I'm not sure I know what that is.</span><br />
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></div>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">
</span></span>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Him: Yes you do! You know, an OVERboard chair. Like the skateboard things kids ride around on with all the lights on it and it's like they're "over" the sidewalk.</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">
</span><div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #b45f06; font-family: "georgia" , "times new roman" , serif;">Me: OOoooOOOh! Got it. Yeh, I don't know if they'll invent one.</span></div>
</span><br />
<div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
</div>
</div>
Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-12255663111375963572016-06-23T10:00:00.000-07:002016-06-23T10:00:04.132-07:00I Heart Nuggets<div style="background-color: white; line-height: 19.32px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; line-height: 19.32px;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Know what initially sounds like a good idea but actually turns out not to be?</span><br />
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Heart-shaped chicken nuggets.</span><br />
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">That's what we served for lunch at school as Valentine's Day approached.</span><br />
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Heart-shaped chicken nuggets.</span></div>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">
</span>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">You see, when you turn a heart-shaped chicken nugget over and and then bite the pointy part off, you're left with...</span></div>
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">
</span><div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">...butt-shaped chicken nuggets.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Fleshy, butt-shaped chicken nuggets.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">And then the kids strategically added condiments to them. It wasn't pretty.</span></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="color: #783f04; font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">The lesson is clear. Keep your nuggets nuggety-shaped or things get dark fast.</span></div>
</span><div style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">
</div>
</div>
Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-34711697111624432082016-06-20T18:37:00.001-07:002016-06-20T18:50:53.259-07:00Things Are About to Get Dull - Like VanillaWhere have you been?<br />
<br />
In all honesty, I've been putting all the funny on my personal Facebook page. I haven't been putting it here because I didn't want to bore all my "real me" friends who follow me here and on my personal Facebook page where I am the "real me."<br />
<br />
But now I've decided I don't really care if I bore them.<br />
<br />
Sorry People Who Know the Real Me. (Let's face it. I'm not that interesting in real life.)<br />
<br />
So I'll be retelling some of my stories from this school year here, and I hope you find them amusing.<br />
<br />
Let's get started!<br />
<br />
<div class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 19.32px;">
<span style="color: #fff2cc;"><div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
Conversation with a kid on her her birthday:<br />
Me: Let's talk cupcakes. Which is better, chocolate or vanilla?<br />
Her: valilna<br />
Me: First of all, you're wrong. It's chocolate. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px;">
Second of all, it's pronounced vanilla.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: That's what I said. Valilna.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: vanilla</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: valilna</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: vah-nil-lah</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: vah-lil-nah</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: That's not it.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: But I'm saying exactly what you're saying.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: I'm pretty sure I'm not saying valilna. Vah.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: vah</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: NIL</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: nil</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: Lah</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: lah. Valilna.</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Me: Vah</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
Her: I changed my mind. <span style="line-height: 19.32px;">I like chocolate.</span></div>
</span></div>
<br />Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-31893880896088240462015-09-11T17:27:00.001-07:002016-06-21T09:02:10.047-07:00In High DemandWe have one fourth grader this year who is pretty quickly becoming one of my favorite kids ever.<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
His name is Chuck, and he's a unique little guy. He struggles a bit with interpersonal communication, personal space, and letting things go. To me, that's just part of his charm. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Oh, he also speaks with absolutely no intonation. His delivery of every line is very flat and almost robotic-sounding. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He may be on the spectrum. Or maybe not. It doesn't really matter to me. He's a lot of fun and a cool kid. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
In class last week, we made posters of ourselves participating in a physical activity that we enjoy. Students could pick whatever activity they want. They could even include a friend in their picture. They also had to use a speech bubble to tell us why they enjoy that activity. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Then, we took photos of the kids and my teaching partner cut out their heads and pasted the real photo of their head on the cartoon drawing of their body. We hung these adorable pictures in our windows facing out at the school. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Only things went tragically wrong apparently. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
You see, Chuck drew a picture of himself riding bikes with his friend. Both individuals in the picture look identical. He did not include a speech bubble coming from his mouth, leaving us to guess which person was Chuck and which was his friend. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We guessed wrong. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So this morning went like this:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Chuck: Um, Mrs. Lee. We have a very serious problem.</div>
<div>
Me: Oh my! What is it. </div>
<div>
Chuck: Well, my head is on the wrong body. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It's at this point I get really nervous because I don't know that he's talking about head on his poster. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Me: uuummmmmm, what?</div>
<div>
Chuck: My head. It's on the wrong body. In the window. </div>
<div>
Me: Ooohhhh. (Phew. No psych call needed) Well, Chuck, we needed to guess which was you because you forgot to include your speech bubble. </div>
<div>
Chuck: You guessed wrong. </div>
<div>
Me: I'm sorry about that. I wish we'd guessed correctly. </div>
<div>
Chuck: So you're going to fix it, right?</div>
<div>
Me: Unfortunately, no. </div>
<div>
Chuck: Why not?</div>
<div>
Me: Following directions is important. I wish you had followed them during the activity so we could have put your head on the correct body, however that's not what happened. Now you're just going to have to adjust to your new body. </div>
<div>
Chuck: But it's not my body. </div>
<div>
Me: I understand that. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fast forward to later in the day:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Chuck: I have an idea Mrs. Lee. Roooooll up the blinds, taaaaaaaake down my picture, peeeeeeel off my head, paaaaaaaaaaaste it on the other body, taaaaaaaape the picture back in the window and roooooooll down the blinds. </div>
<div>
Me: Sorry, Chuck but that's probably not going to happen. This is a good lesson in following directions carefully. That's more important to me than anything. </div>
<div>
Chuck: But I want my head on my body. </div>
<div>
Me: I understand that. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Fast forward to later in the day:</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Chuck: Here's what's going to happen, Mrs. Lee. You're GOING TO roll up the blinds, TAKE DOWN my picture, PEEL OFF my head, PASTE IT on the other body, HANG UP my picture and ROLL DOWN the blinds. </div>
<div>
Me: Probably not. </div>
<div>
Chuck: But that's not my body. </div>
<div>
Me: And had you included the speech bubble, we would have known that. </div>
<div>
Chuck: I want my own body. </div>
<div>
Me: I understand that. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The ball's in his court. Let's see what Monday brings. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-73416693273815109842015-08-28T19:49:00.001-07:002015-08-28T19:49:06.669-07:00One WordTroublemaker. <div><br></div><div>That's the one word a student in our class thought best described him. </div><div><br></div><div>Troublemaker. </div><div><br></div><div>He chose that word because it's what he's been told. </div><div><br></div><div>Troublemaker. </div><div><br></div><div>He chose that word because it's how he feels. </div><div><br></div><div>Troublemaker. </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>Adults in his life <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">made him believe it's true. </span></div><div><br></div><div>Troublemaker. </div><div><br></div><div>Kids encouraged him to embrace it. </div><div><br></div><div>Troublemaker. </div><div><br></div><div>I'm so glad we asked. </div><div><br></div><div>And ashamed that I might possibly have reinforced his opinion of himself if we hadn't. </div><div><br></div><div>It's a good reminder to me that I must always try to do better for these kids, no matter what I know or don't know about them. </div><div><br></div><div>Troublemaker. </div><div><br></div><div>Let's change that. </div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-66423997560780596142015-08-25T17:13:00.001-07:002015-08-25T17:13:33.310-07:00SwingersHow to instantly become my favorite student: <div><br></div><div>Be funny. </div><div><br></div><div>How to instantly stop being my favorite student:</div><div><br></div><div>Let a long dingle dangle of snot hang out of your nose and rock back and forth so it swings like a pendulum while I'm watching you from across the room. </div><div><br></div><div>This has been a public service announcement for all fourth graders. You may resume your regularly scheduled programming now. </div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-29088627466156057802015-06-19T16:42:00.001-07:002015-06-19T16:42:33.125-07:00Don't Be AlarmedAs I've said before, one of my favorite parts of my job is downtime when I can just chat with the kids. Their true little personalities come out then. <div><br></div><div>I did that today as they waited in line for ice cream sundaes after our 4th grade field day. </div><div><br></div><div>So, we're in a park and a car alarm nearby starts beeping. BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!</div><div><br></div><div><b>Me</b>: <i>Wow. That's the worst song I've ever heard</i>. (Wink wink)</div><div><br></div><div><b>Abby</b>: <i>Yeh, it sounds like a broken record. </i></div><div><br></div><div><b>Me</b>: <i>I'm amazed you know what a broken record is, let alone what it sounds like!</i></div><div><br></div><div><b>Abby</b>: <i>Mrs. Lee, I know a LOTTA things about a LOTTA things</i>. (Insert sassy head snap)</div><div><br></div><div><b>Me</b>: <i>Noted</i>. </div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-34791730625427326292015-06-06T17:33:00.000-07:002015-06-06T20:47:01.397-07:00Too Much Lick-er<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="color: white;">So the other day one of our parents at school had something sticky on her right palm, probably the gelato we were selling as a fundraiser, so she licked it off as she was talking to me. I mean LICKED it off, full tongue, several licks. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px;">
<span style="color: white;">It was like watching Palm Porn. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: white;">Right after she was done, palm still wet with spit, she shook hands with another poor unsuspecting teacher who approached us. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: white;">I don't care how much money that fundraiser brought in. NOT WORTH IT. </span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<span style="color: white;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; color: #141823; font-family: helvetica, arial, 'lucida grande', sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19px; margin-bottom: 6px; margin-top: 6px;">
<br /></div>
Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-2784644248446376352015-06-04T18:45:00.001-07:002015-06-04T18:45:18.330-07:00Drop the HammerYesterday was Open House. <div><br></div><div>Today was "extremely tired but exceedingly talkative students" day. </div><div><br></div><div>At one point, after fruitlessly fighting the talking, I just sat down at my desk to cool off before I blew my stack. </div><div><br></div><div>Always observant Izzy sees me do this, folds her hands, shuts her mouth and sits quietly for about 30 seconds. Every 2.4 seconds, she glances over her shoulder to make sure I notice her good behavior. </div><div><br></div><div>Finally, she turns to me and says, "Have you noticed how chatty this class is today?" as she rolls her eyes dramatically. "I think you should give them aaaaall <insert arm sweep across the room> marks for this. Well, everyone except me, of course."</div><div><br></div><div>Marks are negative points for the week. </div><div><br></div><div>I assured her I would seriously consider her advice. </div><div><br></div><div>It was just what I needed to regain my perspective on how tired, but excited, ten year olds might act on the morning after an eventful evening. </div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-75450338585081986862015-05-27T18:30:00.000-07:002015-05-27T18:36:31.294-07:00Fly! Be Free!My teaching partner hatched butterflies in her classroom.<br />
<br />
One butterfly remained on Butterfly Release Day.<br />
<br />
Butterfly Release Day went badly.<br />
<br />
Here's the obituary we posted in the staff lounge:<br />
<br />
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">A Thoughtfully-Written Obituary <o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">for<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Bart the Butterfly<o:p></o:p></span></b></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Today we celebrate the short,
but meaningful, life of Bart the Butterfly: A true warrior among insects.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Bart’s life could never be
described as easy. Born in captivity, he lived the majority of his life in a
butterfly habitat upside down with his legs flailing in the air.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(He may have struggled with undiagnosed
vertigo.) After a long weekend, Bart was mistaken for dead and thrown in the
trash. (Yes, we’re looking at YOU, Mrs. T…) Thankfully, he was rescued and
freedom was afoot. He was released between the protective limbs of the large
tree by the school's stage. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">But he fell out.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Like five times.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">So then his handlers took him
to a smaller tree, but he fell out of that one too.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Twice.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Finally, carried by the
cheers and goodwill of the growing crowd around him, he struggled his way to
the grass again and landed gently on the ground.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">Where a bird ate him.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">But not before he was the object
of a tug-of-war with another bird.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">In all honesty, both birds
may have eaten him. Things got scrappy fast, making it hard to tell.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">In any event, he was a
wonderful butterfly.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">In lieu of flowers, a fund has been set up to pay for
the counseling needed after witnessing The Butterfly Bloodbath
of 2015.<o:p></o:p></span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;">Rest in Pieces Little Upside Down Butterfly
Warrior. Your fight is over.</span><!--EndFragment-->
<br />
<span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 14.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US;"><br /></span>
<br />
Our staff wrote many kind messages on the memorial.<br />
<br />
The candle remained unlit due to city fire regulations.Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8458937443261385091.post-36070184574116066502015-01-29T16:05:00.001-08:002015-01-29T16:05:34.948-08:00Gimme an A!In science class today, I asked my students to find, according to the text they'd just read, where most of the world's oxygen comes from. <div><br></div><div>Without looking for the answer in the text, one enthusiastic young scholar confidently yelled out:</div><div><br></div><div>"Allergies!"</div><div><br></div><div>It's Algae...</div><div><br></div><div>Close, kid! </div><div>But not really. </div>Edna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12756635597593870052noreply@blogger.com3