Regurgitated Alpha Bits

¿Que?

2012-01-28T08:00:00.000-08:00

Question: If a student only speaks English, however understands some Spanish, and his mother speaks and understands Spanish only, how do you imagine they communicate with each other?

She can't understand the only language he speaks, and he can't speak to her in the only language she understands.

I'm perplexed.

What are your thoughts?

Is That What I Think It Is?

2012-01-27T19:21:00.000-08:00

It was a rough week in my teaching partner's math class. Things just never seemed to go his way, and the kids were acting really wacky.

They are generally a sweet bunch, but are our most intensive learners. They're often off task and really struggle to follow directions even on the eleventh (or eleven hundredth) time you've given them.

Hey, we've all had those weeks and those classes.

It's why wine was invented.

So on Thursday he's teaching math to his squirrelly little bunch. They're truckin' along at a dead snail's pace. Students are showing work on whiteboards, and two or three of them are even laying their markers down on their socks (AKA eraser/marker holder) correctly between problems...

...except Howard.

Here's his marker and sock:

At least someone was erect and paying attention in that class.

Pay Up!

2012-01-26T19:19:00.000-08:00

We run the mile every Wednesday, no news to you, and yet again it brings the funny.

One young man, who generally protests throughout the mile run and often refuses to run, ran the best mile of his life.

He ran a lot.

He ran fast.

He broke a sweat!

After finishing in record time for him, he walked up to me and said:

Him: Well, I guess I might owe the school some money.

Me: Why's that?

Him: Repairs are needed because I was burning up the asphalt!

How I See Things

2012-01-21T10:34:00.000-08:00

We have this big ole writing test here in California that all fourth graders take in March.

(Hey State of California, I have a GREAT idea for something you could cut to save money...)

We try to incorporate writing across the curriculum all year long to develop the kids' skills.

We also begin FRANTICALLY writing essays riiiiiight about this time of year as well...

Expository summaries, narrative summaries, narratives, and response to literature essays are literally pouring out of our heads.

You do get quite an insight into their minds when you're reading so many of their thoughts on paper.

I'm learning that my impression of the inner workings of some of them is spot on.

For example, this week we read a pourquoi tale that tells the story of why the sun and the moon live in the sky. In a nutshell, Sun and Moon always wanted to invite their friend Water over, but their house was too small to accommodate all of him. They expanded their home and invited him, however when he arrived he took up so much space that they had to rise up into the sky to stay dry. Luckily, they learned they liked it up there and have remained ever since.

We used this piece to write a response to literature essay, which requires the kids to identify a theme in the story and connect that theme to their own lives.

Tammy
My Impression: Her "on switch" remains hidden, and she always seems disinterested. Tough to motivate, but I'm still looking for ways.
Her Sun and Moon Theme: Never try too hard.
Evidence: Sun and Moon tried hard to make their friend happy, but ended up losing their house.
Her Connection to life: I don't work hard at anything. Hard work is too much work. My mom works and goes to dance classes at night, but I like to just want to watch tv.

Andy

My Impression: Always the victim. To him, everyone is working against him.

His Sun and Moon Theme: Don't let a friend get the upper hand.

Evidence: Sun and Moon invited Water over, but he stole their house from them.

Connection to life: People take advantage of me all the time. You can't trust them.

You know what they say, perspective is everything. When I read the story, I only saw the positive messages hidden within it, but clearly it has a different message to others.

Thankfully, there were also kids like this:

Saundra

My Impression: Will help anyone. Always volunteers to give time to others.

Her Sun and Moon Theme: Being generous leads to good things.

Evidence: Inviting their friend over, even though they lost their house, lead them to learn that the sky was an even better place to live. They never would have learned that if they hadn't been generous about wanting to have their friend over.

Her Connection to life: Because I try to help people, I have lots of friends.

There is hope!

Promises Schmomises

2012-01-01T09:17:00.000-08:00

Well, it's the New Year.

(Did you already know that? You know me. Always full of breaking news...)

Time to make those promises to myself that I fully intend to have no intention of fulfilling.

Resolution #1
Seek revenge on people who leave the copier jammed full of half-eaten spelling lists and chewed up math worksheets. You see, our new copier still jams as much as our old copier, but now I can see who logged in before me. Hahaha!! I'm gonna clear out their mess from the copier, like I always do, and shove it right in their...

...mailbox.

Resolution #2
Stop stealing staples right out of my teaching partner's stapler. I'll be much closer to the supply room in the new year, so there will be no need.

Resolution #3
Not leave the editing of essays until I have weeks and weeks and weeks worth of essays to edit; filling me with a temptation to "misplace" them. I have so many essays to read over winter break that I honestly considered telling the kids they got lost by the movers who are relocating us over vacation. (Our school underwent a remodel.)

Bad teacher. VERY baaad teacher.

Resolution #4
Devise a way to stop giving spelling tests. I hate spelling test. It tests them on nothing. Sure, they spell ok in isolation, but unless they develop a career playing Words with Friends, spelling in isolation is a useless skill. I'd rather teach the spelling rules, but skip the traditional spelling test. Spelling in context is key.

Maybe they could use words that follow the weekly spelling rules in those essays I'm going to be grading with more frequency?

Resolution #5
Stop thinking up resolutions that make editing essays more work than it already is.

Resolution #6
Make an honest attempt to fulfill my resolutions.

Resolution #7
Stop lying to myself. I'm never going to actually DO these things.

Resolution #8
Hold myself to a higher standard than I have in the past. Strive to be a better person and challenge myself to make personal and professional changes when changes are needed.

Resolution #9
On second thought, love myself just the way I am.

Resolution #10
Blog more.

The Bits is Back!

2011-12-30T20:20:00.000-08:00

My blog is fixed! My blog is fixed!

Thank you to Mr. McCartney from Sydney, Australia for your help on the Blogger help forum.

I thought The Bits was going to be in bits forever.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!!!

A Toxic Culture

2011-12-14T19:12:00.000-08:00

I think I've mentioned on more than one occasion that our students do not like running.

Well, today is Wednesday.

Wednesday is Mile Run Day!

yippee...

As usual, 99% of kids whipped out mommy notes excusing them from running for various made-up reasons.

In an odd twist that I think should be studied by the medical community, many of them found the realization that they must sit out of recess if they aren't healthy enough to run surprisingly healing and mustered up the strength to drag themselves around for a mile.

(I'm contacting The Journal of the American Medical Association to see if they'd like me to whip up an article on this groundbreaking cure for "I-Don't-Wanna-itis.")

My favorite note was written by a student and it read:

I would like to be excused from PE today. Running makes me breathe hard.

Another kid came up to me and said that his parents did not want us to use a marker to track his laps on his palm with dots.

It's toxic and could get into his bloodstream and kill him.

Do they honestly think we would do anything to KILL HIM?!?!?

If Vis a Vis markers were toxic, we all would have been dead loooooong ago.

I don't know about you, but I can't use a marker without inadvertantly smearing ink all over myself like a toddler.

On second thought, maybe that IS just me...

That is neither here nor there. As the marker-poisoned student was "running" his laps today (with masking tape on his palm on which he could collect his dots), he decided to sharpen his thespian skills.

I spied him approaching me, arms outstretched in front of him, weaving and stumbling and looking in distress.

Me: You ok?

Him: Whaa? I...I can't really see you. Eh...every...every...everything is all blurry and going dark.

Me: Well, then head towards the light, but do it at a jog 'cause I want these laps done in under 15 minutes.

A "Little" Blog Problem

2011-12-11T09:45:00.001-08:00

Hi Folks,

Sorry about the wonky-looking blog. I'm not sure what's going on. I didn't change anything, but somehow over night my blog header and wrapper have gotten smaller. I tried increasing the width in the html, but it had no impact.

Maybe they're just standing farther away and simply "look" smaller.

Anyhoo, I have no idea what's going on and no answers about when things can get back to normal around here. Blogger is being decidedly unhelpful. I am open to any suggestions, if anyone has any.

I am sorry about this. I try so hard to look professional...

(Haha! Even I don't believe that one!)

Tough Day?

2011-12-05T14:00:00.000-08:00

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could.

Some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
Forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day.
You shall begin it serenely
And with too high a spirit
To be encumbered with your old memories.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Etiquette 101

2011-12-02T21:08:00.001-08:00

FOUR!

Or do golfers yell, "FORE"??

"For," maybe???

Why on earth did they pick a homophone?

(Which leads me to think that "TWO" would have been poor choice as well...)

But I digress.

The field trip we took took on Thursday involved learning how science and math play a part in golf. It was a unique opportunity for our students to participate in hands-on STEM activities AND do so in a swanky country club in one of the wealthiest neighborhoods in Southern California.

NOT our usual digs.

We did some schoolin' at the Chevron World Challenge!

Thank you to Chevron for sponsoring our visit!

The kids LOVED it, and the activities were exciting, well planned, and engaging for the students. They even got to walk the course a bit and see a professional golfer in action.

To be honest, our kids were p-e-r-f-e-c-t! They could not have been better behaved, and we could not be prouder of them.

You don't realize how stressful it is to take 90 kids to a super-fancy country club where athletes are competing for millions of dollars and one little kid's inability to contain his desire to loudly crunch leaves under his shoes can cost a golfer millions of dollars. Where people who paid lots of money for tickets glare at your loooooong line of students because, well, they're KIDS and are probably going to ruin the whole grown-up golf spectating experience.

The kids were so wonderful that strangers, spectators, and people working the course couldn't resist smiling at them and complimenting them on their fine manners and good behavior.

In a nutshell, we were

SO!!!!

PROUD!!!!!

But my favorite part happened as they ate their lunches in the shadow of the luxurious clubhouse at white tables with white folding chairs, and REALLY rich people walking all around them. One of our boys said (a bit too loudly):

Wow! This is REEEAlly nice.

This is the kind of place where you should chew with your mouth closed.

Livin' the Unhigh Life

2011-12-01T20:24:00.001-08:00

On a field trip with our kids today, our bus drove down a street with huge-normous mansions. The kids all oooo-ed and ahhhh-ed over the opulence.

At lunch, I overheard a table of kids talking about them.

Molly: I would LOVE to live in one of those houses.

Mark: Not me!

Molly: What?!?! Why not?

Mark: I want to live in a normal house so people think I'm normal.

Hey, kid, whatever it takes!

Genius is Relative

2011-11-28T18:04:00.001-08:00

One of our sweetest, nicest, kindest, most responsible, never-gets-in-trouble boys came to school today wearing a necklace with a big ole medallion hanging on it.

That's weird.

So, I sat next to him to do a little questionin'.

Me: Hey Zach! You got a new necklace there.

Zach: Yup! (Big grin.)

Me: Do ya know what it says on your medallion?

Zach: Yup! "Geniuses." (Bigger grin.)

Me: That's kinda what I thought you'd say. You're wearing it because you're a pretty smart kid, huh?

Zach: Yup! (Gigantic grin.)

Me: I agree, Zach. You are a smart kid, which is why I think I should tell you that your necklace says, "Guinness" and THAT is a beer.

Zach: (Huge, mortified, beer-bottle-sized eyes. No grin.)

Me: That probably explains why a necklace about "Geniuses" is shaped like a bottle.

He pulled that necklace over his head and jammed it into his pocket faster than college student in a beer drinking contest.

Poor kid. He couldn't look me in the eye for the rest of the day.

I should have confiscated it.

It would have made a great gift for my husband!

You Asked for It

2011-11-22T18:21:00.001-08:00

I've received many emails asking me for more information about King Arthur Flour and their Life Skill Program, so click here if you're interested.

I'm so glad my teammie found this program and that our kids could participate.

Best of luck to you and your kiddos if you decide to do this or any other charity work. It's the perfect time of year for giving!

Baker's Dozen Times Seven

2011-11-19T16:51:00.001-08:00

After a few weeks of banging my head against the wall with Howard, I needed some feel-good stuff to happen.

Ask and ye shall receive!

Thanks to my take-charge, do-gooder teaching partner and some pretty awesome students, my wish was granted.

You see, my partner is one of the good guys. His message to our students is consistently positive and always sincere. Each year, he seeks out ways to allow our students to be of service to others; reinforcing the message that no matter how much we are struggling, there are always ways to we can help others who are struggling more.

AND, because he drags me along on his charitable adventures, when it's all said and done I look like this great teacher too!

Great-by-Association is more like it.

Well, my teammie contacted King Arthur Flour and arranged for them to come to our school and teach our students how to bake bread. After the lesson, the students were supplied with all the dry goods and a recipe, thanks to King Arthur Flour, to bake two loaves of bread at home that night.

One loaf was for our students to enjoy at home with their families. They were instructed to bring the other loaf back to school the next day so that it could be donated to needy families by way of the St. Vincent de Paul Society.

The King Arthur Flour representative was fantastic with the kids, and they loved the lesson. We gave them their bags of dry goods and sent them home with good wishes for some successful baking.

As they marched off with their baking materials, we teachers said we'd be so proud if 30 or 40 of our 100 kids managed to bake bread by tomorrow. Many of them have little money, live in apartments with several other families, and have parents that work crazy long hours. Thirty or forty is a fine amount of participants.

Our little bakers awaited us the next morning with 83 loaves of freshly baked bread! Some baked baguettes, some braided theirs, some made half-moons, and others made simple loaves. Eighty-three loaves of bread! One parent fouled up her recipe so she went out and bought two loaves of bread with her own money so her son could experience the power of charity.

Have you ever baked bread from scratch? This was 83 families that sacrificed at least 4 hours of their night to make bread for some other needy family to eat.

It makes my heart swell with pride.

I am humbled.

It is a privilege to teach these children.

It is my honor to continue to learn from them.

Language Barrier

2011-11-18T17:53:00.001-08:00

Here's the scene:

Three little first graders are standing outside their room, talking loudly like first graders do.

Heck, like ALL graders do...

"You kill me!"

"No! You kill ME!"

"NO! I wanna be killed!"

A teacher, my teammie, was walking by and overhears this little conversation, and stops to discuss it with them....

...in Vietnamese.

She's not doing this just for fun. Two of the kids are Vietnamese, and speaking to them in their home language usually raises their level of respect.

The other kid is Chinese. No worries. She speaks that too.

The kids, of course, immediately deny their conversation.

The teacher, of course, tells them THAT is not gonna fly since she heard them.

Then, much to her surprise, one of the Vietnamese kids says, "I don't speak Vietnamese."

Leading her to ask, "Uh, really? Then why have you been answering my questions in Vietnamese this whole time?"

(insert pregnant pause accompanied by looking everywhere but at the teacher)

Looks like "deception" is just one more thing we don't do a good job of teaching in school.

Miss America

2011-11-16T18:28:00.001-08:00

One of my favorite things to do is chat with the kids.

Informally, just hanging out, getting to know them and all their little kid thoughts.

A few weeks ago I was out with the kids during free-play on a Friday afternoon. Quiet little Ana giggled her way through a story about a time her mother pretended to be Miss America. How one morning, in her bathrobe and with bed-head hair, she slipped on her highest heels and sashayed through the kitchen waving the wave of a beauty queen and carrying the morning paper like a bouquet of roses.

Ana and her friends all pretended to be beauty queens in heels too and tottered on tiptoes across the playground, laughing and waving like her mother had.

That memory will always be special to Ana. It was a gift that she shared it with me.

Ana's mother was taken from her this morning. Cancer stole her, leaving her three daughters and husband with only memories.

Every day we have with our loved ones is a gift, and our memories are what we find when we unwrap it.

Go hug your family.

Running Shorts

2011-11-11T07:07:00.001-08:00

So we ran the mile again this week, much to the chagrin of most of our students.

Every week, we remind the kids to wear comfortable running shoes and loose clothing in preparation for the run.

But we SHOULD have reminded them not to wear their father's boxer shorts under their jeans because by lap 3, they begin to ride up...

...in a most uncomfortable manner.

And then, not only do you have to be miserable because of the running, but you have to do it with an atomic wedgie all of your own doing.

Don't Sweat It

2011-10-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

Today we...

by "we" I mean "they"...

... the kids...

ran "the mile."

Six loooooooong laps around the playground, complete with moaning, crying, limping, coughing, and puking.

As our little joggers said, "Oh look. Asparagus!"

They are a motley little crew of misfits out there running.

Every Wednesday, all the kids except maybe two launch into dramatic displays of their various "ailments" in an attempt to get out of running the mile.

They heal surprisingly fast when we suggest that if they're too sick or injured to run, they must skip recess...

...for their own well-being! We would HATE for them to make their sickness or injury worse by running around at recess. Better they sit it out at the lunch tables and heal.

As my mother would say, "The only way to get better is REST."

"Uuummmm. I think I can run now."

Today, a little girl came up to me in a true panic and said, "Mrs. Lee!! I have to stop running. I'm leaking!"

"Oh, great," I thought. "I've made another one wet her pants. HOW does this keep happening?"

As the girl approaches, she's showing me her leaky...

...armpits.

She actually raised her heart rate enough to break a sweat.

...and thought she was dying.

"Have you never sweat under your arms before?" I asked.

"NO!" she shot back like I'd just asked her if she had ever murdered a puppy or something.

"Keep running, kid. That's just your body saying Thank You."

People, we gotta get these kids outside more!

You Can Run, But...

2011-10-25T16:43:00.000-07:00

Howard ditched after-school detention with me today.

Man, was he surprised to see me marching up to him.

...in the park he was playing in.

...a mile away from our school.

When you're nine, you don't consider the fact that hiding in the place where you play every day makes finding you so easy.

Thank you, Howard!

The best part was that he was playing with a group of boys, one of which ditched detention with me last year.

And what did that boy say?

"I TOLD YOU she'd come find you!"

I'm nothing if not predictable.

They Shoulda Warned Me!

2011-10-23T12:41:00.000-07:00

Remember when you started your training as a teacher; ready to change the world one little mind at a time?

Well, here's a funny from YouTube about this very topic made by this guy (who happens to be recognized by Smart Technologies, one of my favorite technology providers, as a super techie teacher. That's my kind of educator!)

This video is so true it hurts...

Walk About

2011-10-22T08:17:00.000-07:00

Remember when I said that there is no better way to get to know a kid than to have lunch with them?

Well, walking them home is pretty enlightening as well.

I walked Howard home yesterday.

You see, Howard is a difficult child to motivate. He hates school.

... and school isn't in his fan club either.

He's always exhausted, laying around on his desk, playing with his pencil, bugging his neighbors and being a general nuisance to others. He is also always unshowered and rarely brushes his teeth.

I feel like all I do is redirect his behavior and ask him to go wash his hands.

ALL I do is redirect his behavior and ask him to go wash his hands, making teaching all the other students (also really needy kiddos) a big challenge.

It's like trying to read a wonderful novel while simultaneously remodeling my own kitchen with nothing but a plastic fork and super glue.

Impossible to do, but guaranteed to leave you feeling like a failure.

So at the end of the day yesterday, after Howard got in trouble for punching another student in line as we were leaving, I decided to make a change.

You see, Howard is not a good student, but he is savvy enough to know that doing things at the end of the day on a Friday probably means no immediate consequences.

What he didn't bank on was the fact that I have no life, therefore I have ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD to dedicate to his consequences.

I sent his friends walking home without him and kept him with me for 20 minutes to discuss his decision to hit. I let him know that detention on Monday was coming too. Then, I began walking him off campus.

...and never stopped walking him.

Howard: Are you going to walk me all the way home?!?

Me: Yup.

Howard: To talk to my grandma or mom, because they're not there.

Me: We'll see.

I just started chatting with him, asking him what he liked about school.

Recess.

What he doesn't like about school.

Everything and everyone else.

What he would like to see more of in school.

Playing.

If, in his 5 years at our school, he had ever been on a rewards contract to earn good stuff for making good choices.

Nope.

Would he like to be on one?

Yes!

Who he lives with.

About 11 other people in a 3 bedroom house.

Who is home when he gets there.

No one.

Who he shares a room with.

Mom and two sisters.

Bunk beds? Single beds? Share a bed?

I sleep on the floor.

Who gets him dinner and reminds him to get ready for bed?

No one. Mom is out until late and everyone else is busy with other stuff.

I told him that I agree that recess is fun and I like it too. I also think that more playing can happen while we learn, but that we have a lot of work to do on behavior before I think he can learn while playing. Playing is something that can be earned on a rewards contract.

He was in a pretty good mood by the time we reached his driveway, however his grandma's truck was in the driveway.

I'm sure he thought, "Oh, crap..."

Me: Well, thanks for the great ideas, Howard. I'll see you on Monday.

Howard: ummmmm, You're not going to talk with my grandma?

Me: Nope. I just wanted to talk with you.

Howard: (sheepish grin) Really?

Me: Yup. Have a good evening, Howard.

Howard: You too, Mrs. Lee.

It might take all year, but Howard needs to trust us. He needs to know that for the hours he's at school, someone wants to take care of him.

And someone cares enough to remind him to wash his hands.

Unexpectedly Happy Ending

2011-10-14T18:46:00.000-07:00

My teammates and I had an all-day meeting scheduled with our new principal today.

We grudgingly stayed until 5:30 the evening before writing sub plans.

We groggily arrived early, as usual, to finalize sub plans and ensure our rooms and materials were ready 'cause Company's Coming!

We cheerily met our subs but predictably freaked out a bit because they didn't quuiiiiiiite seem up to the job.

(Well, at least I did.)

We kerploppingly sat down in the assigned empty classroom and sighed audibly when we saw chart paper, markers, post-it notes, print outs of colored bar graphs, and other evidence that we would be crunching a LOT of numbers today.

(Again.)

We silently cheered when, an hour into our meeting, our subs got yanked to go to other schools because too many teachers called in sick.

(On a Friday? Weeiiiird.)

We happily returned to our classes to teach.

I love a day that doesn't suck!

Shame on Me

2011-10-08T09:57:00.000-07:00

Do you know what I said yesterday?

Do you KNOW what I said?!?!

Well, I'll tell ya, I crossed a line. I crossed a line, and I can never go back.

I can't unsay it.

My students can't unhear it.

It's as permanent as the marker stain on my left index finger that won't go away because I always miss when recapping my whiteboard marker.

(Deep breath)

I was teaching my students about figurative language; specifically about how to recognize the difference between similes and metaphors.

An innocent query came from the back of the room. Why do we have to learn this?

What I should have said: Because learning how to recognize figurative language is the first step to being able to use it in your own writing, which will make you a better, more interesting, more vivid writer. Good writers have a big bag of tricks they can pull from so that their writing doesn't become boring and uninteresting. I want you to have as big a bag of tricks as possible.

But I was thinking: Good Question, Kid! Why DO you have to learn this? Many of you have only been speaking English for a few years, only speak it in the classroom, and don't even know the basics about how to write a simple sentence yet because I am forced to spend weeks on figurative language instead of teaching you the skills you really need. In addition, I'll bet millions upon millions of people live productive and fruitful lives without knowing the nuanced differences between similes and metaphors. That being said, I would LOVE to teach you this skill after I felt you'd had enough time to learn the prerequisite skills necessary to even use figurative language in a sentence.

So I said: Because it's on the state test.

(Pause for dramatic effect)

Yup. I admitted to them, and to myself, (and now to you) that I was teaching them something simply so they can pass it on that stupid state test.

(GASP! oooooOOOOoooo... She said "stuuuuUUupid!")

I am ashamed.

And a bit brainwashed.

Have I really succumb to the mentality that because it's on that test, it's a life skill my kids need?

Have I lost all perspective on what students REALLY need and now I am simply checking off skills found on the state test?

Looks like I have.

But at least I'm not the only one. Here's a funny from Learning Laffs.

Number 8 was my personal favorite.

Enjoy!

Field "Trip"

2011-09-30T17:51:00.000-07:00

We have a sweet group of kids this year, and I like them very much.

Sweet, yup... they're sweet.

Very sweet and thank goodness for that.

So we had our field trip today, and as usual it was a fun-filled day for everyone.

(cough cough)

We piled our sweet little kiddos onto the busses and headed off to learn some science at the local estuary.

We worked hard to get ready for the trip before we left, learning about ecosystems, wetlands, and how organisms interact with nonliving things in their habitats.

But what I SHOULD have been teaching them what a bird is.

The Naturalist: Ok, boys and girls. Think of an animal that is NOT a bird that can fly.

Kid 1: A duck!

The Naturalist (cheerily): Good try, but that's a bird.

Kid 2: An eagle!

The Naturalist (less cheery): Another good try, but that's a bird too.

Kid 3: A penguin!

The Naturalist (now confused): That's a bird AND it can't even fly.

Kid 4: A hawk!!!

The Naturalist (exasperated): Also a bird...

Kid 5: A pterodactyl!!

The Naturalist (suicidal): uuummmm. Ok? I guess that works.

Kid 6: A monkey!

The Naturalist (defeated): Really?

She then handed out binoculars for bird watching and allowed them plenty of time to watch everything within 1/4 mile that wasn't a bird. They looked in each other's ears, into local homes, at bugs on the ground, and at me pointing out ALL the birds surrounding us.

Oh Well!

My teaching partner said that his group wasn't too with it either.

The naturalists play a game with the kids while we hike called "Reporter." One student stands in front of a plant or other interesting thing and repeats a fact about it (given to him/her by the naturalist) while the line hikes past.

For example, Timmy points at an anise plant and repeats, "These seeds taste like black licorice. These seeds taste like black licorice. These seeds..." You get the idea. He does this until the line of students hikes by and then he joins the end of the line.

Artie, a student who struggles to pay attention which is why he was placed in a group with a teacher, pointed at a plant, was told his fact and then and repeated, "I forgot what I'm supposed to say. I forgot what I'm supposed to say. I forgot..."

You get the idea.

Another One Rides the Bus

2011-09-30T06:00:00.000-07:00

Today is Field Trip Day!

Field Trip Day is usually dripping with good stories.

Like this one.

And this one.

Annnd this one (that I'm not too proud of).

Stay tuned and keep your fingers crossed that we have some ADVENTURE!

Hand Picked

2011-09-28T08:00:00.000-07:00

I had lunch with a couple of girls on Monday.

I know that's not big news, but to them it was.

You see, one of them was officially adopted by her foster parents on Friday!

Being an adoptee myself, I feel a kind of kinship with her. I invited her and a student from last year, Abby, who was also adopted by her foster parent while in our class to have a celebratory lunch in my classroom.

We are now all officially members of "The Super Duper Extra Special Because Our Parents Picked Us While Everyone Else is Just Stuck With the Kid They Handed Them in the Hospital Adopted Girls Club."

(No offense to those of you biologically related to your children and/or parents. As we adoptees like to say, "Don't hate me because I'm hand-picked.")

Well, my little fourth grader was not so keen on the idea of being adopted at first because she felt it made her "different" from the other kids.

Abby and I managed to convince her that it does indeed make you different, but not in a bad way. She was feeling pretty good by the end of our lunch. She really likes the fact that I am adopted too. It gives us a special connection.

In the end, I was assuring her that I am here if she needs to talk, but Abby stepped right over me and told her that WE are here for her.

At first, I thought it was kinda funny that she did that, like she and I are peers or something...

...but now is realize that, in a way, we are and just how sweet it is.

Words Get in the Way

2011-09-26T17:14:00.000-07:00

Here's a giggle for you!

While practicing compound sentences about desert ecosystems in my classroom, one student wrote:

Kangaroo rats like to eat cactus fruit, but cactus fruit can be pricey.

So what we can take from that is, in this economy, even kangaroo rats are tightening their belts.

...and that the kid can't spell prickly.

I've got another one for you too!

While practicing identifying main events and details in the beautiful story The Miraculous Journey of Edward Tulane, the students quickly picked up on the fact that Edward, a toy rabbit made of china, was self-centered at the beginning of the story but eventually learned the value of loving others. This becomes very clear once Edward meets a four year old girl named Sarah Ruth.

One student wrote:

Edward goes to Sarah Ruth to perfect his lovemaking.

Yup.

Kiddie porn.

Bestiality.

The soaring price of cactus fruit.

We got it covered.

Mouth Organ

2011-09-13T16:41:00.000-07:00

So I'm reading my students a story and one of the characters is playing a harmonica. I took a moment to make sure that everyone understands what a harmonica looks like and where they may have seen one.

Michael, with one finger in the air and much authority, adds:

Oh! I know! Alotta times, they play them in prisons!

ummmm, sure?

That's a Good One

2011-09-03T07:07:00.000-07:00

Hahahahahahahhaaaaaaaaa!

Hooohahahahahahhhhaaaaaah ahahahhahahahahhahahahaaaahaha!!!

phew...

hahahahahahahaha(snort)hahahahaha hahahaaa aahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OK OK...giggle giggle...ok... I'm ready now...teeheee...

Get this! The new teacher at my school came up to me on day 3 of school and asked...

heehee

if I...

gigglegiggle

have any advice...

snort

on how to handle GEORGE!

AAAAHHHHHhhahahahahahahaaaaa!!!!

HAHAhahahahahamystomachhurtsfromlaughinghahahahaha!

She seems like a great teacher. She should be...

FINE! AHAHahahahahaaa!!!HAHAHahahaOhGodICan'tStophahahahahahahaha!!

New Year - New Lessons

2011-08-30T17:50:00.000-07:00

I'm back in the saddle again.

I must admit, it's nice to once again surround myself with the smell of whiteboard markers and glue sticks.

I really have nothing too interesting to report regarding my first two days in school, but I have learned a few new lessons. (Gotta lotta "to's" in that sentence! I've met my quota.)

Lesson #1
Light-up tennis shoes are no longer just for toddlers. About 1/2 of my girls are prancing around in polka dotted Converse-esque tennies that flash colored lights with each step.

Not.

Distracting.

At All.

(I'm just hoping they don't start wearing the ones that squeak with each step!)

Lesson #2
Despite the fact that I apologized up front and about every 1.3 seconds for two days straight, my students show no mercy when I can't remember their names. They take it as a personal insult and are quick to roll their eyes or harrumph at me (both HUUUUUGE mistakes, they soon learn) when I have to ask them to tell it to me.

Get.

Over.

Yourself!

Lesson #3
No matter how many times you tell them, some kids don't grasp that when the teacher explains directions and then says, "Raise your hand if you have a question about what we are doing," asking "Can we start now?" does not qualify as an appropriate question.

That being said, they seem like a nice bunch of kids and I look forward to having another great year.

At the very least, I'll hopefully have some fun stories for us about kids who are having a great year!!

Ahoy There, Mateys

2011-08-17T07:00:00.000-07:00

I've been busy

doing NOTHING!

But today I have dedicated myself to spending quality time with my nearest and dearest friends...

on the Internet. (Because you guys don't seem to mind that I'm always wearing sweats with holes in them when we get together.)

So many people out there have great ideas, and great ideas are what I'm searching for (since I am in short supply); so I've decided to spend the day combing my favorite blogs in an attempt to pillage and plunder my way to some New School Year Inspiration.

Let me ask you... When you stumble upon an idea for your classroom that you love, do you get so excited that you begin talking to yourself and planning aloud to no one in particular about how you can use that great idea in your room and how you can tweak it for your kids, and how you're gonna share it with everyone you know and which theme you can apply to it and what standards it meets?

No?

Yeh, uhhh, me neither...

So here's an idea for group behavior management posted by Ginger Snaps that most certainly did NOT cause me to begin talking to myself...

at all.

In a nutshell, design a cute bulletin board with a path. Groups of students move a colored pin along that path as they demonstrate good behavior. Prizes are earned at various points. What I love about it (but haven't discussed with anyone including me because that would be weird) is that it's a long-term positive reinforcement behavior management idea. We've all done Table Points, Dismissing Tables First, Raffle Tickets, blah, blah, blah and they are effective for a while, but good teachers have bags of tricks that are as endless as Mary Poppins' Carpet Bag.

This one is going into my carpet bag.

AND then there's the super idea I am totally snagging from Miss Teacher over at juice boxes & crayolas that involves posting positive affirmations around your room. I don't know about you, but my students spend a fair amount of time staring at pencils, each others' ears, and walls. Why not give 'em something positive and motivating to stare at since they're gonna do it anyway?

Well, I can't hang posters on pencils (too small to read) or students' ears (illegal, I think), but I can hang them on the walls!

Now, if I can only find an artistic person to make these things for me and then put them up in my room...

Grammar Aside

2011-08-15T04:00:00.000-07:00

Bored with your summer reading list?

Is Tolstoy weighing you down?

Ready for some good ole fashioned teacher giggles?

Then have I got the book for you!

John Pearson, aka Mr. Teacher, over at Learn Me Good has penned a sequel to his run-away hit of the same name. Only this one is, as my kids would say, even more better and it's called Learn Me Gooder.

Gifted in storytelling and quick with the wit, Mr. Teacher will keep you laughing throughout.

You KNOW you wanna read it!

So on August 22nd, boot up your computer and drive it right to Amazon to buy your copy.

Happy Reading!

I'm Where?

2011-08-14T17:47:00.000-07:00

Do any of you like to number-crunch?

Love chewing on some data like a ham bone?

Sadly, I do.

It's scary to admit, but Excel is my favorite Microsoft program...

(I know. It's pathetic that I even HAVE a favorite Microsoft program...)

because you get to dump in some data, move it around, compare it, color code it, put it in order and then reorder it in countless ways, average it, and then make a graph outta all of it.

A graph that you can pick the colors of the lines, the backgrounds, the floors, you can make it 3D, adjust the size, insert pictures, label things, blah, blah, blah...

I just LOVE it all!!

Putting Excel aside for a while, let me just say that the next best thing for me and my number obsession is to combine it with my blog using Google Analytics. This site gives me detailed information, in the form of numbers, about how my blog is doing, who is reading it, how they found it, how long they stay on it, where they're entering it from, how often readers return, what countries they live in (Hello, Germany!), etc.

Oh! Don't worry. There is no personal data on it. You are all just a number to me.

Which is why I LOVE ya, 'cause I can CRUNCH ya!

I pour over this site about once a month and stay on it for hours. (Sometimes I even dump some of the info into Excel and make a graph, just for sh!%s and giggles. Ssshhhh, my husband thinks I'm actually working when I do that.)

One of the most interesting aspects for me is to see just how you people found The Bits.

By far, the number one referral site I have is Scholastic. Thank you for naming me one of your top 20 blogs! It's an honor and has led readers to my cyber-doorstep many, many times and I am grateful.

The number two referral site was a new one this month and one I was surprised to be included on: The Teachers' Lounge Blog on Really Good Stuff. (!!!!!)

I love the stuff at Really Good Stuff (although I usually call it "Really Good Stuff I Don't have the Funds to Purchase" but I see why they go with the shorter name.)

I'm listed with nine other blogs in their "Related Sites" section.

Me.

Related to a blog about Really Good Stuff.

Me.

Really Sarcastic Stuff, THAT I can see.

Really Honest Stuff, THAT I fit.

Really Inappropriate Stuff That Could Get Me Fired or At Least Earn Me a Stern Talking - To Stuff, I'm a match.

Really GOOD Stuff?

Me?

Ha!

But I am grateful nonetheless.

I am grateful that we found each other, dear readers, no matter how it happened. Your comments keep me motivated and laughing and I am awe of your great ideas and tenacity. Many of you are bloggers who share your stories and ideas and there is nothing more interesting for me to read.

Thanks for reading and for sharing!

Quiet! I'm (not) Thinking!

2011-08-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

Have you been thinking about working again?

Worse yet, have you begun working again??

Not MeeeEEEee!

By now, I've usually busted out the flash drive and begun planning away for the coming school year that starts at the end of August. In all honesty, in years past I've had the majority of my year planned by now, but this year I have not.

And I must say, I feel a teensy bit guilty about it.

I met one of my teaching partners for lunch the other day, and he had just returned from a science camp for teachers. He LOVED it and for good reason. It was a week of non-stop activities with other highly-motivated educators from around the world. The activities developed team-building and science knowledge, all of which can be applied in the classroom.

Needless to say, he is...

FIRED

UP

about the coming school year.

Funny. None of his enthusiasm oozed over to my side of the table. (Maybe my empty beer glasses blocked it.)

He was also telling me about how the other 1/3 of our team has also been hard at work on ideas for the coming school year as well, despite the fact that she has two wonderful young children who keep her on her toes.

It is at this point that I begin to feel like the childless, non-science camp attending, beer-swilling, no excuses dead weight that is going to drag us all down.

And yet, guilty as I feel, I still can't bring myself to get working yet.

(But I do think that, "Childless, non-science camp attending, beer-swilling, no excuses dead weight" would make a great t-shirt.)

Am I still recovering from last year?

Maybe. (Possibly the easiest year of my career? Yeh, riiiight...)

Am I being lazy?

Probably. (Certainly.)

Should I get my butt in gear and start working as soon as I get back from this little family vacay I'm currently taking?

I really can't say. Committing to that right now would probably mean lying to you, and I'd hate myself for doing that.

Should we really be spending our vacation time working on school stuff? What motivates so many of us to dedicate at least a portion of our time off to school work?

Our reasons probably vary. I'm curious to hear why you do it (because I KNOW you do!)

For now, I'm just going to continue enjoying time with my extended family and keep procrastinating on that whole work thing that my team seems so busy doing. I can play catch-up when I get home.

Maybe.

Another Year Done

2011-06-27T13:11:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh.

Smell that?

That's the scent of freedom!

Sweet, isn't it?

I started my summer vacation today. Time to clean out my brain of all that teacher clutter and begin the decompression process.

The process itself is simple:

1. Stop teaching.
2. Drink margaritas (starting at breakfast).

As with any lesson, the valuable learning occurs after the lesson is complete and you've had time to reflect on what went well, and what you'd do different in the future.

What went well this year:

1. Teaming. I heart teaming with my teaching partners. Sharing a vision of student success and working together to make it happen is more rewarding than I could ever have imagined when I taught in a self-contained classroom. Teaming isn't for everyone, and I'm fine with that. It sure works for us though.

2. We had GREAT kids. Yes, even George can look ok...

...in my rearview mirror.

That being said, I really enjoyed working with this group of kiddos. They were excited about learning, sweet in disposition, and an overall joy to teach. They will be missed.

3. We had awesome parents who supported our unique way of teaching. What we do is different, and different can be scary for some, but they hung in there with us. In the end, many parents expressed appreciation for what we do and told us how much they enjoyed their year with us, which is simply the...

Cherry
On
Top!

Now for the tough part...

What I'd do differently:

1. I talk a good game about wanting parent involvement in the classroom, however I haven't perfected my method of inclusion. I want parents to feel welcome, be there often, and have valuable things to do while they're on campus. In the future, I will include them more in my daily routines. Maybe you people can share some of your ideas with me? Please!

2. Patience. I need to have more patience. Patience with the students, their parents, my coworkers, and myself. Loud-mouthedness I got. Sarcasm I got. Wordiness I got. Patience? Well, let's just say it's not winning the race with the other personality traits I have. I wish it would hurry up. I'm sick of waiting!

Besides, I hear it's a virtue. Who couldn't use more of those?

3. Incorporate more technology in the classroom. My history with it has been spotty, but it sure is a motivator for kids. As challenging as it can be on my nerves (see "patience" above), it is a necessary evil if my students are going to be at all successful in the future.

4. And finally, find time to blog more often. Lots of funny shi... stuff happens every day in school, and I need to find time to share it. More importantly, writing keeps me sane. The birth of this blog was a purely selfish attempt to keep myself sane in a job that was driving me crazy. I don't want me to go nuts. I don't have the time or the patience to fix it if I do!

That's enough reflection for now. It's time to go relax in the California shade, because sun is bad for us mole people, and enjoy a margarita. You know what they say:

It's 8:00 AM somewhere in the world!

Ego Blow of Another Kind

2011-06-17T16:51:00.000-07:00

Typical Friday

Kids are being remarkably good considering we're entering the home stretch here with one week to go.

The teachers seem more anxious for summer than the kids!

As usual on a Friday, I went to lunch today with my teaching partner. We realized that eating at the same joint for an entire year leads to the cashier putting in your order before you even get to the counter and instead of greeting you, she just smiles and tells you what you owe. Now THAT'S service...

...I think.

As I headed to the ladies room to wash my hands I see a familiar face smiling at me. Although I can't recall a name, I know she's a former student.

I smile back and say:

Me: Weren't you in my third grade class a few years ago?

Girl: Yes, Miss Lee. (My name before I became Mrs. Lee a few years ago)

Me: Oh gosh! You look great! I'm sorry, but what is your name?

Girl: Diana

Me: Oh Yes! I remember now! (She could have said anything. Faces I remember. Names? ehh...) Out for the summer now?

Diana: Yup!

Me: Wow! What grade are you in now?

Diana: I just finished my sophomore year in college.

Me: Whaaaa???? (audible snicker from my teaching partner back at our table)

Diana: Yup, I'm studying to be a nurse.

Me: Whhaaaaa???? I mean, woooow! That's greaaaaat...

The pain I felt when I realized that this little person I had taught in third grade was rounding the corner on becoming someone who might soon care for me in my old age was indescribable, but let me try.

Crappy.

The cherry on top was when my human calculator of a teaching partner did the math and told me that my first class of third graders would have graduated from college last year.

Brat.

Ego Blow, Part Deux +1

2011-06-11T19:12:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to go through the laundry list of backlinks that showcase the vast array of comments George has made this year. To do so would require increasing the size of the Internet.

Suffice it to say,

George has struck again.

Sadly, my principal is leaving our school. (Maybe George finally wore her down?) Each class is participating in a video tribute to her.

Our fourth graders were all gathered on a hill in a nearby park so we could record them for our final portion of the video. A chorus of 100+ sad little faces waved at the camera and said in unison:

"Goodby Mrs. SoAndSo. We will miss you!!!!!"

And as the video fades to black, you hear one recognizably sarcastic voice yell out,

"Hallelujah!"

Geez...

Come Again?

2011-05-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

Handball is big at my school.

Epic would be a better description.

Kids take it very seriously and have all sorts of rules.

They also have all sorts of names for different moves, any of which can be allowed or banned from a court by whomever got there first.

There's Hardies, Super Hardies, Cross Countries, Babies, Bubblegum (not a move, but a way to keep your place in line), Under-doggies, etc.

So today, one of my students, Steve, was on a tear beating the pants off of kid after kid. Finally, after something like 10 wins in a row, he finally got out when a savvy player lightly tapped the ball against the wall when Steve was at the back of the court.

Exhausted and a sweaty mess, he came over to me.

Steve: Phew! That was tough! I'm so tired. Making babies is hard!

Me: uummmm, I'm not sure you should be doing that at school.

Steve: No, the girl on that court said it's ok. I just can't make babies very well, especially when I'm tired after all the cross countries.

Me: Well, I suppose long-distance relationships pose their own unique challenges.

Steve: Huh?

Me: Never mind.

I'm not sure, but I think we may have been having two different conversations.

Perspective is Everything

2011-05-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

If you've been on my Facebook page, you know all about the newborn kittens found under my teaching partner's classroom.

Well, as the animal control lady and our custodian pulled the little, black, slightly hairless bundles out from under the room, all of our students were outside for dismissal. Of course, they gathered around with curiosity.

A boy: Wow! Are those RATS??

Class: eeeeEEEEeeeWWWWWWW!!!!!!! That's sooOOOO gross! They are disgusting! Ahhhhhgghh!!!!!

Mr. Custodian: No, they're kittens.

The Same Class: aaAAaawwWWW!!!!! How CUTE!!!!

On Your Mark!

2011-05-18T20:58:00.000-07:00

I gotta say, I’m super proud of my students’ efforts on state testing. They really are giving it their all with the Big Game is on the line.

Since testing started, the kids have been using those almighty test-taking strategies we’ve mercilessly pounded into their heads since the first day of school. Their outright refusal to use them on any test before this had me believing they might never put them to use. Obviously, they are absorbing than I suspected. (phheeew!)

Additionally, all of the students who generally treat every test like a foot race with a million dollar prize for finishing in first place are taking their time and being thoughtful about their answers.

I never thought this day would come!

And to top it off, their level of cuteness is at DEFCON 10. On little cut-outs of our school mascot, I wrote each of them a short personalized note about how I believe in them and how proud I am of them. Once they seemed to be getting tired or losing motivation, I dropped their note on their desk and gave them a little pat on the back.

Each of their little faces lit right up!

Many of them clutched that little piece of paper in their hands for the rest of the test. Most of them saved their notes in their binders, placing them next to pictures of their families and friends in the cover.

AaawwwwwWWWWwwww!

And where did they put the generic motivational sticker that every kid in the school got?

Your guess is as good as mine. (Probably stuck on to someone else's back!)

It’s good to know my kids treasure me as much as I treasure them.

Ego Blow, Part Duex

2011-05-15T10:20:00.000-07:00

So I've been telling you all year about George. He's the kid who said this....

and this...

and this...

and this...

and finally this.

Well, he has struck again.

Me: Alrighty kids, let's get inside and get started on some science! Let's see if we can make our lines quieter than Mr. Smith's lines as we walk to our room! (Mr. Smith teaches Social Studies next door.)

The Class: Yeah! We can do that!

George: Mr. Smith is smarter than you.

The Class: gasp!

Me: Well, George, that was not very nice of you to say. You've just hurt my feelings.

George: No offense. He just really is.

The Class: Gasp!

Me: Well, George, saying that is offensive and hurtful. Unkind opinions should be kept to yourself. If someone said something like that about you, I would tell them the same thing.

George: But he just really is smarter than you.

Me: Listen to my words, George. Saying that to me makes me sad. It makes my heart hurt. I don't think you're the kind of person who would want to make someone feel that way.

George: I'm just say that Mr. Smith is...

Me: George, stop talking.

Later in the afternoon, the students were helping me pass out two weeks worth of graded papers. I gave every student a job except George. Every student understood why...

...except George.

Quiet Grace

2011-04-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

In our class of 100+ fourth graders, it seems there are a 1,000,000+ personalities.

Allow me to introduce you to Stephanie, just one of our little personalities.

Stephanie... a sweet little girl with a huge heart. She is quick with a smile and even quicker with a hug. Absolutely filterless, she tells you every emotion she has just as she's having it. A little gem and a daily joy to her teachers.

On a day when I was feeling particularly down because one of my cats had been sick and we didn't have much time left with him, Steph showed up to school with a homemade necklace for me with three little cats dangling from it. She had no idea what was going on with me at home, but her little necklace is a treasure of mine now and forever. I have since lost my cat, but that necklace brings a smile to my face!

In addition to being loving and cheerful, this darling little girl is also an easy target for bullies.

She struggles both academically and socially. Her glasses sit crookedly on her face and both her gross motor and fine motor skills are not as developed as her peers. Almost everything we do in class is too challenging for her to complete independently. In a nutshell, she is different and pays dearly for it at school. She does have a best friend though.

Her dog Ruby.

Each day, Stephanie's mother and Ruby pick her up from school. We get to watch a little girl and her dog reunite as if they had been separated for months instead of hours. Stephanie runs to them, scoops the wiggly white puffball into her arms and just gets drenched in sloppy wet kisses.

One day, Steph's mom came with Ruby bouncing along to pick up their favorite little girl, and we noticed that Ruby was being walked on a rope tied around her neck instead of her usual pink harness and leash. Steph explained that her harness and leash were gone, but couldn't explain what had happened. Like most of the families at our school, their family doesn't have much money so there would be no new harness or leash in their future.

The next day, Steph came up to me with an even bigger smile than usual on her face. In her hand she was clutching a pretty little light blue collar with rhinestones on it, brand new and cute as can be.

You see, Abby, the little girl who had been the target of a large group of bullies that I wrote about here, also noticed the rope around Ruby's neck so she spent her allowance on a new collar for her.

That was one happy little girl who stood before me!

Abby thought nothing about the gift. She saw someone in need and could fix her problem, so she did. "No need to thank me," she said. "It was the right thing to do."

The lessons these two little girls could teach others will most assuredly be lost on their peers, but their teachers will remember them forever.

Ego Blow

2011-04-28T06:03:00.000-07:00

Student: When are you going to be our teacher again, Mrs. Lee?

Me: As soon as our student teacher is all done with her time with us. We sure are going to miss her when she leaves.

Student: We miss you too, but you don't need to come back right away.

Technically Cursed

2011-04-22T17:42:00.000-07:00

I [heart] technology.

But technology does not [heart] me back.

Every time, no wait...

EVERY time I use it, ANY of it, in my classroom, it craps in my hand and runs away.

And these are the words coming out of the mouth (keyboard) of someone who is pretty durn adept at using technology.

Take a stroll with me down Technology Torture Lane:

Our district pays good moola for us to have access to Discovery Education, and I have made it my mission in life to put that moola, combined with our class set of notebook computers, to good use this year. Many weekends have been spent developing lessons that integrate the vidoes and other pieces available on the site, only to find that our bandwidth is inadequate for all the students to stream said videos at the same time or even for ME to stream them on my computer alone for the kids.

If, by some blessing from the bandwidth fairies, students can stream videos on their notebook computers, then no fewer than eight of those computers will require a reboot in the middle of the activity for no particular reason, causing panic and disappointment on a monumental level for those nine-year-olds because it takes at least 10 minutes for their computers to complete a reboot.

Challenge 1: Give yourself and your family big bowls of your favorite ice cream, but you sit there for 10 minutes doing nothing while they eat theirs, complete with lots of slurpy sounds and yummy moans. Sucks, huh?

Or, since some of the computers have Internet Explorer as the default browser and others have Mozilla and one or the other is incompatible with Discovery's streaming (depending on how the wind blows), some kids can stream and others can't and a third group can stream but without any sound.

What was intended to be a highly engaging activity melts down into an hour of me running around helping distraught miniature scientists who just want to watch a damn video clip on electromagnets, build a digital frickin' version of one, and take a gosh darn quiz on what they just did.

Instead, they get a tiny hourglass on their computers and a frustrated teacher trying desperately not to lose her s&!t in front of them.

So then I decide to give myself and my kiddos a break from Death by Discovery Education, and we bust out Qwizdom. Qwizdom has standards-based lessons and quizzes and much more, and each student gets a remote...

WE GET REMOTES! yesssssssss [insert fist pump]...

that they can use to send their answers to my computer. We get immediate feedback on how well they did on each question (complete with a pie graph). The power students feel just by being handed a remote is palpable. Qwizdom is a useful, fairly straightforward, tool and SUUUUPER motivating to the students...

...when it works...

I am about to clap out then number of times it has worked this year. Ready? Here I go:

Did you hear that? THAT was what zero claps sound like. (I told you I was technologically literate.)

Of course, it always works for SOME of the students, but never for all of them which leaves those without a remote feeling dejected, disappointed, and decidedly UNmotivated. (See Challenge 1)

So I give up on all the fancy-dancy stuff and just get out their notebook computers again for them to use ST Math, an online math instruction site which we use because of a grant our district received.

...except we can't use it...

...at least not all of us because three computers crashed, two students can't remember their eighteen character passwords, the Internet dropped off and we all lose access, and then when it comes back twelve computers now have the site displayed only the right halves of their screens and there is no sound.

It's enough to drive a girl to drink...

...in class...

...WITH the kids.

But I won't.

Because drinking requires some sort of device to cool the beverages, like a refrigerator, which might be considered technology by some standards...

... and I'm afraid it might rise up and kill me.

W.A.W.

2011-04-16T07:26:00.000-07:00

What.

A.

Week.

This week has been a busy one. Lemme just tell you an itsy bitsy bitty bit of it.

On Thursday, two boys came to tell me they saw a couple kids bullying a girl in our class.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again...

and AGAIN. Bullying

Chaps

My

Hide!

Nothing makes me more upset, especially when our most defenseless students are the targets. (But isn't that always how it goes?)

The target of the bullying is just that: a sweet, special young lady who is totally unable to defend herself against a bully. She's an easy target.

So we started interviewing students, and each interview revealed more students involved in bullying her,

and more students,

and more students,

and MORE students...

Bottom line, this sweet, shy little girl has been terrorized on the playground and IN OUR CLASSROOMS by over 30 of our students...

Every

Single

Day...

with the most horrible, painful words and actions I've ever encountered of in all my years teaching.

And we, her three teachers, knew nothing about it. (I am a HORRIBLE teacher.)

The degree to which individual students were involved ranged from gathering around her to point and laugh while others bullied her to such egregious threats against her that I can't even bring myself to type them here.

And she never told us, or any adults, because she didn't want to be a tattle tale.

(Insert dagger into already broken heart.)

Well, needless to say, consequences are being rained down on these students. RAINED DOWN!! In addition to that, all the time they will NOT be allowed to feel the blacktop under their feet or the sun on their skin will be filled with anti-bullying and empathy training.

And we teachers are developing ways to make sure this NEVER happens again.

But there IS a silver lining in all this.

(I know! I'm shocked too!)

When my teaching partner addressed the students who were not involved in the bullying, he asked that they let the teachers know if they ever witness bullying again so we can intervene because we all need to protect each other.

A few moments later, the most popular boy in our class came up to him with big tears in his eyes. He knew about the bullying and said nothing and felt HORRIBLE that he had not protected her.

(awwwwww!!)

Then he said that when students were lining up each day after recess and bullies were telling everyone not to line up behind the little girl because she "smells," HE would purposely get in line right behind her even though the kids would tease him.

(AWWWWWWW!!!!)

After two days of finding out just how despicable people can be to someone, our heavy hearts were lightened just a bit by the simple kindness of one little boy.

Maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

You Have the Right to Remain Silent

2011-04-10T07:00:00.000-07:00

...but if you do, I'll presume you're guilty.

We teachers must be the police officers of our own little worlds. How many times has a "crime" been committed in the classroom or on the playground that we must investigate?

For me, like a billion times a day.

Ok. That might be a slightly inflated number.

I like to do the Good Cop/Bad Cop routine, however due to a lack of grown-ups in my room, (there's only one and it's me and I realize referring to me as a grown-up is sometimes stretching the truth) I must play both parts.

Here's generally how it works.

Child A comes to me sobbing HY-STER-I-CALLY and says something like:

Child A: Iwasontheplaygoundandsallygotallherfriendstomakefunofmyshoes.(snifflesniffle)

So I say: Whaaat?

So Child A says: Iwasontheplayfoundand SALLY gotallherfriendstomakefunofmyshoes!(snifflesniffle)

Me: Sally did what?

Child A: Made(sniffle)fun(sniffle)of(sniffle)myshoes.

Me: Sally made fun of your shoes?

Child A: NoooOOoo!(sniffle)

Me: Well, that's what I got outta what you said.

And that's when another child, eavesdropping from her seat and fluent in Sobbingese, translates: She SAID, Sally got ALL HER FRIENDS to make fun of her shoes.

Me: Oh.

And so the clock starts ticking on the 48 free seconds I have to solve this mystery.

We all know, if I call Sally over and ask if this incident occurred, she's going to lie to save her bacon. That is why I never do that.

I give her time to stew before I ask her to lie.

First, I interview witnesses. I take copious notes on what is said by all the witnesses, keep facts that are the same and throw out what is different, and am usually left with some semblence of the truth...

...if you're comfortable with a truth that is about as clear as mud.

In all honesty, I usually have NO idea what really happened.

Knowing the truth is not what matters. Having Sally THINK I know the truth is what matters.

When the interviews are done, I then take Sally aside and say: Sally. I've just been talking to some other students about an incident on the playground. After talking to the others, I now understand what happened (Yeh, right). You have been named as one of the participants (Which is the only fact I AM sure of). I'm just gathering facts here and would like your side of the story. I am counting on your honesty (therefore I am prepared to hear a lie).

And then Sally tells me a whole long explanation that is completely fabricated and is designed to make her look innocent. (Because to a kid, "Tell your side" means "Lie, Lie, LIE!" and she's had all this time to think it up.)

And I say: Sally, I already KNOW the truth (Ha!). Your story does not match the facts given to me by the others. I want you to be very sure that you've told me everything as it happened. Maybe you just got confused a bit?

So Sally jumps at that opportunity and says she MAY have been a little confused. She then tells me a story that implicates her juuuuuust a teensy bit but not fully.

And I say: Sally. I'm sure you're not fully being honest with me (I think). I want to help you with this (I want this over with), but I can't until you start telling the whole truth. Your facts just don't add up with what I KNOW is the truth (I think). Now, if you continue to be dishonest with me, I'll be forced to increase your consequences (even though I haven't the faintest idea what consequences to give for an incident I don't fully understand).

It is here that Sally realizes that she is indeed going to be getting some consequences, but the severity of which she might have some control over and she'd like to take advantage of that.

Sally: Ok! I DID IT! Igotallmyfriendstomakefunofhershoes(snifflesnifflesob).

I don't really know what she said, but it sounded a lot like what the other kid said so I take it as the truth.

I hand out some rough justice and move on with my day, satisfied that another wrong has been righted in my room...

...I think.

The Party's Started

2011-04-09T08:52:00.000-07:00

Over on 5 Minutes for Mom, the Ultimate Blog Party had gotten under way! Hop on over there and check out all the amazing information, links, and take the opportunity to hook up with some other blogtastic bloggy people!

Btw...I may need a designated driver. Can you give me a lift?

Oh, Florida...

2011-04-08T10:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know about you, but I am glued to the goings-on is Florida.

You see, Florida Governor Rich Scott, just signed his first bill and it eliminates tenure for new teachers and changes teacher evaluations to be based, in part (50%), on their students' test scores.

I have some feelings about this. I'll bet my left earlobe that you do too!

And so do the teachers in Florida!

As I've said before, I dig reading people's comments and that includes all of them in the online papers I read. I actually get a little too caught up in their comments and wind up spending a lot of my time commenting on their comments.

I gotta learn to shut up...

Anyhoo, I've been poking around in the Florida papers just to eavesdrop on the comments teachers and others have been writing online. (and put my two cents in on a few...)

One side thinks that merit pay and the elimination of tenure will be just the motivator teachers needed to really get those test scores raised.

The other side thinks that merit pay and the elimination of tenure will not motivate teachers but will instead hurt teaching and students because teachers will to teach to the test rather than foster a love of learning and creativity.

A third side thinks that teachers' pay might be unfairly hindered by the populations they service.

And THAT'S where the comments got really interesting!

(Btw, there are MANY more sides to this debate.)

There is a storm a-brewin' about how parent involvement and student motivation will impact a teacher's ability to earn a merit raise, since test scores will now account for 1/2 of the teacher's evaluation. (Only teachers rated "effective" or "highly effective" can be eligible for a merit raise.)

Now, we all have had those students who never do their homework, are always late, are frequently absent, and have parents that are impossible to raise on the phone or get into your room for a conference.

In Florida, could they keep you from getting a raise?

Some teachers say yes, and have, in the comments sections, suggested suing parents who do not live up to those "home/school contracts" many of us all sign at the beginning of the year.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, many districts have teachers and parents sign a contract that "commits" parents to certain promises like providing a quiet place for homework, making sure kids get to school every day and on time unless ill, etc. Teachers also promise as well to providing assistance if academic help is needed, treating children with respect, etc.

In my district, they get signed by everyone, filed in a drawer, and shredded at the end of the year. No one really takes them seriously.

Looks like some Florida teachers want to now!

Some teachers feel that if the actions, or perceived lack of actions, by parents or students inhibit a teacher's ability to earn a living, they suggest holding parents legally accountable to the contracts they signed at the start of the year.

Wow! What do you think about that one?

I'm Curious

2011-04-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

...and by that, I don't mean strange.

I always love to hear what others are thinking. The best ideas I ever had I stole from other people!

No, seriously. In my opinion, the greatest thing about blogging is hearing what all of you have to say in the comments section. I find all of you fascinating!

So let me pick your brains.

I posted a really quick, and relatively useless (except to satisfy my own curiosity) poll over on my Facebook page. Drop by and check it out when you have a second.

Thanks for reading!

QR Codes???

2011-04-05T09:56:00.000-07:00

I told you that I would tell you more about what I learned at The Cue Conference I attended, and I'm no liar.

(Despite the fact that I'm using a false name, false location, and changed the names, ages, and genders of just about everyone I've ever written about.) I'm NO liar!

QR Codes were EVERYWHERE at The Cue and I am really excited about them.

QR stands for Quick Response. That excites me because Quick Responses are not something I usually get at school.

Me: Timmy, what is 4 times 5?
Timmy: uhhh, ummmmmuhh, eeerrrrr, aaaaaa, weellllllll, hold on, I'll get it. Could you repeat the question?

QR codes, in case you're new to these, are little 2D doodads that have data encoded in them that can be decoded by a cell phone's QR reader. Once decoded, the data is revealed on your phone.

Most cell phones with Internet access have the QR reader software either already on them or it's available for free online.

I have an iPhone, also know as "my other right hand," and I use the Red Laser app.

(Which, by the way, is a FANTASTIC app for comparison shopping as well!! For example, scan the barcode of the TV you're contemplating buying at your local store and Red Laser will tell you how much it's going for at other local stores and online.

O.

M.

G!!!!!)

So, back to QR codes. I made one...

well, I made like 12, but I won't subject you to all of them.

I made ONE for you to try out. Get out your phone and let your QR scanner take a picture of image below.

Did it work??

If it did, you'd see my contact information all ready to be saved in your contacts in your phone.

(Don't actually save it unless you're dying to have fake info about me.)

Wouldn't THAT be handy at Back to School Night? Make one. Display that sucker at the front of the room. BLAM! Info shared!

They are simple to make and simple to use and give the users immediate access to information. You can make them online for free. I made the one above at Zxing.

What kind of data can be stored in a QR code, you ask? Well...

- Your contact information (obviously)
- Calendar events (for important school events)
- an URL to a website (when scanned, it will take them right to the site)

There are lots more application ideas for these doohickeys.

I LOVE the idea of using them to link to a website. My big dream as a math and science teacher (my mother still can't get over THAT fact)...

My Mother: You know, she couldn't even DO math as a kid. I had to pay for a tutor for...
Me: MaaAAAaa! Do you HAVE to tell everyone about this?!?! Really?!?!

...is to have students make videos of their science experiments to post online. Then, at Open House, we post QR codes that link parents to the website and they can watch their kids conducting the experiments right on their phone!

Students can post How-To videos for math lessons, post QR codes in the room, and parents can watch the kids doing the teaching!

The possibilities are endless!

Self Promote Much?

2011-04-04T12:25:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, Spring Break.

A time to sit outside and enjoy the warming weather.

Have a glass of lemonade and read a good book.

Listen to the birds chirping and the bees buzzing.

Obsess over a Facebook Fan Page.

Darn you, Mr. Teacher, for suggesting I start a Facebook page.

Do you KNOW how much time I have devoted to that damn thing!?!

It's bad enough that my Twitter account has all but taken over my life. Now I'm beady-eyed and frantic over my new Facebook page too!?!?!

First, a week was spent perfecting a hand-made (read Microsoft Word-made) logo for it. (Thank you Trina for all your helpful suggestions!)

What do you think? Not too shabby for being made completely out of shapes in Word, huh?

Next, I made 12,125,654,127 attempts to add one of Facebook's "Like" buttons to my blog to no avail due to issues with my customized blog background. No problem. I just made my own link using my handmade logo.

Then, the tossing and turning at night began as my mind was gripped with questions like:

How do I link my blog to Facebook?
(Figured that one out....I think.)

How do I link my Twitter account to it?
(No go yet. Can't find my Twitter rss feed for anything but my "favorites" in Twitter.)

What the hell else do I have to say on another social media platform that I'm not already saying?
(Evidently only as much as I have to say on my blog, for now!)

How will my ego survive only having 3 fans on my page?
(Poorly...)

Well, there it is. My fan page is up and running and I hope to turn it into something useful for all of us.

Oh, and I'm not actually mad at Mr. Teacher for his suggestion. He's one of my favorite bloggers and a darn good author.

Hope I see you on Facebook!

Spring Break

2011-03-31T20:00:00.000-07:00

Well, I am on Spring Break right now, so I have no fun kid stories to share. I suppose I'll just have to talk about my own life for a while. (I won't be hurt if you want to stop reading here. It's bound to get zzzzzz(snort)zzz. Whaaa? Oh. Where was I?)

Since I have two glorious weeks off from work, what do you think I've been doing?

A fair amount of work, to be honest. I even met with my teaching partners at one of their homes and we worked the day away planning how we're going to get all the math we need taught done before the state test next month, and ate homemade Pho. Yum!

Oh, and I got them signed up on Twitter!

If you're not on Twitter, let me just say you're missing out. That joint is hopping with cool stuff! I get tweets daily, loaded with wonderful websites and techie ideas that I can't resist trying out while I sip my coffee in my pajamas with a cat on my lap until four in the afternoon.

For example, SpeakingImage.org is a find! You can import images, add text to image, create a wiki to go with it, and collaborate with others! I've already created three that I'm going to use with my unit on electrical circuits when I get back! This would be a great way for students to show their understanding of a given topic.

Now, back to me...

We are dog-sitting for my vacation. I did the math. That is 22 legs in our little home now, 20 of which are hairy. (We have a parrot and I have been busy. Don't judge.)

Our temporary house guest is Louie. He's a spunky and fun little guy who belongs to my mother. He also piddles for no apparent reason, so he's got a cloth diaper tied around his waist to cover his squirter. (Judge all you want. He has no shame about this.)

Some Louie Fun Facts:

His breed is an unknown mix of some sort of shaggy brown mutt mixed with a sea otter. He's perpetually scruffy and looks like Benji if he'd be cut off at the knees. No amount of brushing can tame his locks, and his coat snags everything on the ground and hangs on to it until he gets on my couch evidently.

He desperately wants to please, but has absolutely no impulse control, which makes for an interesting mix of trying to follow commands while not being able to control his body in any way. He's in a war with himself and the winner is yet to be determined.

His inability to control himself has led to our cats perching on our counter to watch the shenanigans with a fair amount of amusement every time we need to put his leash on. I think they think it's some sort of sport or something, but I wish they'd find a way to help out rather than just being lookie-loos.

He's very curious about our two cats, but they have the weight advantage (they are BIG cats) and he seems to know that so he keeps his distance.

Oddly enough, he does not recognize the weight advantage most other dogs have over him and tries to pick fights with all of our neighbors' dogs. Our neighbors are used to our friendly Siberian Husky and are decidedly put off by her tiny bodyguard.

He's not had a lot of experiences in life. We take our dog all over the place with us so she's very used to car rides, sitting under my chair on restaurant patios, and shopping at the dog friendly mall near us. Louie... not so much. Therefore, he makes a lot of squeaky, unsure, whiny sounds for the first 20 minutes of any new experience.

Not.
Embarrassing.
At all...

Due to his nervousness, he's unpredictable around strangers. Our dog, while she looks like a wolf, is very calm and has proven herself trustworthy around children and adults. Louie, while he looks cute and cuddly, will take your hand off with the quickness of a ninja if you try to pet him. Amazingly, A LOT of people try to pet him! Out of necessity, my husband and I have developed a game plan. One of us walks the dogs and the other jogs alongside like the secret service, making sure no one tries to touch him.

Despite all his quirkiness, I really love the little guy and so does my dog. They play constantly and sleep in a little pile of wet noses and tails in his little dog bed. Well, 1/3 of my dog fits in the dog bed so Louie uses her as his bed.

She is going to be devastated when Louie leaves. We humans are fun...

but we're no Louie.

The Uprising

2011-03-28T09:22:00.000-07:00

I have another student teacher. She is a hard-working and dedicated young lady who will be an asset to education when she enters the workforce.

The other day, she was asking me if I had ever had a student teacher that I did not pass.

I have, sadly, had a few who did not make the cut.

Well, she was dying to know why so I told her the following story:

(Names have been changed to protect the innocent.)

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful and innovative teacher named Neda Ele. Neda taught in a quiet school in a small village in Far Far Away Land. The students were perfect, the classroom was neat, and all the teachers were happy, well-paid, and content with their lives.

One sunny morning, a student teacher came to work in Neda's room. Neda welcomed her with open arms and an open heart.

Neda realized that much of student teaching is about learning classroom management skills. Without effective classroom management, no learning can occur. Neda worked hard to share all her knowledge, tricks, tips, and advice with her student teacher.

But to no avail. You see, her student teacher had children of her own and felt her own techniques were better.

She was wrong.

After weeks of practice, weeks of work, weeks of imploring the student teacher to remain positive with the students, weeks of reminders, and weeks of heavy drinking on Neda's part, the time arrived when the student teacher was supposed to lead the class on her own for five days.

Neda was reluctant to leave her students in the hands of such an ineffective, negative student teacher; however the student teacher's university supervisor implored Neda to give the woman a chance.

So Neda relented and entrusted her class to the student teacher.

She was wrong.

Within thirty minutes of leaving her classroom, Neda watched as her student teacher marched past the lounge window with little Ralphie's arm gripped tightly in her hand.

Neda wondered to herself, "If she's down here and I'm down here, who's up there with the kids?!?!"

Neda raced up to her classroom to find the school psychologist standing just outside her door, fists on her hips, observing the chaos inside. The psych had been walking by when she heard the roars from room 12, looked in and saw kids everywhere but no teacher. She demanded an explanation.

Neda did not have one.

Within a few minutes, the student teacher returned sans Ralphie, who had been left in the office for safe-keeping, and she explained what happened.

You see, the student teacher had spelled out PHYSICAL EDUCATION on the board, and every time she needed to correct student behavior, she erased a letter. Within twenty minutes, the class had lost all seventeen letters of PHYSICAL EDUCATION.

(Kinda the opposite of Positive Reinforcement...)

Well, her gun was empty now and Ralphie knew it so he took the opportunity to start The Uprising. He began chanting:

"No PE, NO Work! No PE, No Work!"

Soon, the entire class joined in, fists pounding on their desks and voices raised in protest.

The student teacher went over to Ralphie's desk and demanded he stop chanting, but Ralphie hopped out of his seat and ran away.

So she chased him.

Ralphie ran around the room,

and she chased him around the room.

He ran.

She chased.

(I feel I should insert here that she had a bit of a limp that became more pronounced as she ran around, making her look a bit like Igor as she lumbered after a nimble little kid. The other students thought this was hysterical.)

Finally, she somehow caught up with him, grabbed him by the arm and dragged him down to the Principal's office...

...leaving the remaining students in chaos and unattended.

The student teacher was told to go home. She would not be returning to Neda's room for reasons I think are clear...

...to everyone BUT the student teacher.

Neda went on to have a wonderful school year and she and her students lived happily ever after.

Oh, and the student teacher?

She had to repeat her semester of student teaching in another school, graduated from the teaching credential program (that Neda STILL won't take student teachers from anymore) and got hired in a private Christian school.

She called Neda not long after she was hired to say she had been suspended for teaching "inappropriate" math lessons to the students. Students were asked to create math problems that when solved on a calculator would make words.

Well, not only did some students create math problems that made inappropriate words...

...she hung them on the wall because, and I quote: "They ARE just words after all."

She was wrong.

The Highs and Lows of Teaching

2011-03-25T07:00:00.000-07:00

...all experienced in under 20 seconds.

Michael: I realized something today Mrs. Lee.

Me: What's that, Michael?

Michael: Even though all the writing is boring, it's important to show your work in math so you can get the answer right.

Me: Well! That is QUITE a realization Michael! I am proud of you for making such a grown-up decision about how you're going to do math.

Michael: Thanks, Mrs. Lee. ...Mrs. Lee?

Me: Yes, Michael?

Michael: I know I said I wanted extra help with reading during lunch, buuut I'd rather go out and play.

Me: Of course you would...

Flattery will Get You Nowhere

2011-03-24T05:44:00.000-07:00

In case the picture of me on The Bits isn't clear, I have fair skin.

VERY fair skin.

I believe Crayola calls my actual color "one notch above transparent."

Wearing clothes isn't due to modesty. It's to keep people from seeing my internal organs. (You thought YOUR stomach was unflattering...)

Since I live in a very sunny climate, my doctor said it's time I started doing more that just using sunscreen for protection and suggested I invest in a nice floppy hat.

I made my selection at the store, brought it to school, and have been diligent about wearing it if I'm going to be outside for any extended periods of time...

...because I have 103 little hat policemen who point at their heads every time I cross the threshold without it.

(They seem to take a fair amount of joy in telling ME what to do for a change.)

So, the other day, I didn't put it on because I was only going to be outside for a short time. Several kids tried to get me to go back and get it, but I assured them that this was a short trip into the sun for me. They each expressed their disappointment in my disregard for doctor's orders.

...or my disregard for their orders. One or the other...

When child number five million came up to me to ask where my hat was, I gave him my little answer and he replied:

"Well, I'm glad you're not wearing it. It makes you look SO OLD!"

Thanks, kid...

Wordle This!

2011-03-22T20:52:00.000-07:00

Well, well, well. Based on the comments and emails I've received, it looks like we are a bunch of people who enjoy clumping words together!

If that's the case and you fall into the Wordle Afficianado Club, you better sit down. I am about to

blow

your

mind.

If Wordle satifies you like a hot date, then let me ask:

Have you tried...

wait for it...

Tagxedo?

If the answer is yes, I love you.

If you've not tried it, you will love me for showing it to you. It's Wordle on steroids.

Rather than your words taking on random shapes, you get to pick out the shape.

You get to PICK OUT THE SHAPE!!!!

Sweeter words have never been spoken to a pack of control-freaks like us. (Admit it. I'm not wrong with that assessment.)

Quando Quando Quando you want to form the lyrics to your favorite Engelbert Humperdinck song into the shape of the United Kingdom, Tagxedo can do that for you. (Hi, Ma!)

Interested in turning your wedding vows into the shape of a heart for your honey? Tagxedo's got your back.

Oh heck, looking to reshape your divorce decree into a heart as well? Make it happen at Tagxedo...

and then mail it to your ex with a box of half-eaten chocolates.

Again, I am selfishly loving all the advice and ideas coming in, however I think others might be finding them useful as well so...

Keep 'em coming!

History? Let's Dance!

2011-03-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Let's continue our stroll through all things free from the Cue Conference I attended.

Caveat #1: Elementary teachers... This is not something we can use, however I so thoroughly enjoyed it that I HAVE to share it with others.

Caveat #2: There won't be anymore caveats. I just wanted to use that word. It feels so international!

If you are a middle school or high school history/social studies teacher or know someone who is, this is the site for you.

OR

If you are someone who enjoys the "Song Parodies of Historical Events Set to Hits from Yesterday and Today" genre and are finding it difficult to find songs for your iPod, I now have the answer to your prayers.

Presenting, The historyteacher's channel on YouTube!

Here's one of my favorites: information about "Black Death" sung to "Hollaback Girl" by Gwen Stefani.

"oohh, Fleas on rats. Fleas on rats."

Who WOULDN'T sing along to that!

They have many, many more videos. Fifty-two more to be exact, designed by history teachers to make learning history more fun.

I know. I know. Your school district blocks YouTube.

C'mon! We must work together to be more cunning than our oppressors.

Use SaveYouTube to download videos and use them in your classrooms.

I LOVE the Cue Conference!

Wordled Bits

2011-03-19T10:22:00.000-07:00

I had fun yesterday! I was at the Cue Conference in Palm Springs, CA. It's a 3-day conference for teacher nerds just like me who like to use technology in our classrooms. I could only attend one day, but that was more than I could handle as it was.

The place was packed!

(Word must have gotten out somehow that I was going to be there. I'm going to have to talk to my people about that one.)

Thankfully, my throngs of fans graciously acted as if they didn't recognize me...

...at all.

...in any way.

...like I was a nobody.

...even AFTER I asked many of them if they thought I looked like that gifted blogger Edna Lee.

Every one of them spared me the embarrassment of being recognized in public by pretending to be confused by the question.

SooooOOOOOoooo, it was easier for me to focus on all the great information being shared by techie educators from all over.

Thank you fans. I understand [wink] and appreciate your thoughtfulness.

My teaching partners (aka my "security team") and I had several criteria that we used to select which sessions to attend, since there were hundreds to choose from.

1. What we learned had to be about things that are free, meaning cost no dough, to use.

2. We need to be able to implement them with minimal prep time.

3. Our session selections should give us ideas to make our teaching easier not more complicated.

And one that came up in several of the sessions we attended was Wordle. You can make word clouds from documents or web sites. This a Wordle I made in two seconds use the URL to The Bits!

Ok. I was more like two hours, but that's only because I kept playing around with the fonts, layout and colors.

The larger words appear most often in the document used to create the Wordle. Smaller words appear less often.

As you can see, "pencils" are a big deal to me; "organization" not so much.

(No shock there.)

Applications for these little suckers, you ask?

Well, we thought you could use them for

Make Wordles using student essays to identify over-used words and encourage variety in word choice.
Brainstorm prior knowledge about content areas and focus on words that appear the smallest since those are the ones students know the least about.
Create Wordle of adjectives for an administrator or colleague (CAREFUL, now! Don't go getting yourself fired.)
Make a Wordle about your blog...

AND there are no restrictions on how you use your Wordle. Put 'em on t-shirts. Make a poster. Use 'em in the school paper.

Those were a few of our ideas, however I'm really more interested in your ideas. How can you see Wordle used in the classroom?

I really learned a lot at this conference. I'll try to share more of it in the coming weeks as I play around with all of it.

Happy Wordling!

It's Not WHAT you say,

2011-03-15T17:51:00.000-07:00

but HOW you say it that matters.

As you may know, I teach science and math with English Language Arts integrated into my curriculum.

(I make it sound to effortless... like I'm not up at all hours of the night inventing the lessons that so seemlessly integrate LA into everything!)

Anyhoo, I really do try to make whatever I am teaching in science become topical throughout the day so I sometimes make up word problems in math that go along with our current science theme.

Right now, it's Matter and Energy in Ecosystems.

Well, we had a district math visit today, and three district Mucky-Mucks wandered into my room at about 9:00 am. I was working with the students on how to turn word problems into mathematical equations. Just as the Who's Who of my district plop their rumps against my back counter, I call on a student to share his math problem and the equation he wrote.

Me: Tommy. Share your work with us please.

Tommy: I wrote a science one! If you collected four orgasms from the desert in...

Me: Organisms

Tommy: Right, Organisms. If you collected four orgasms from the...

Me: OrGANisms

Tommy: Right, orGANisms. If you collected four orGASms from...

Me: OrganISMS. Repeat after me. Or

Tommy: Or

Me: GAN

Tommy: GAN

Me: isms

Tommy: isms

Me: Or-gan-isms

Tommy: Or-gan-isms

Me: Great! Try your problem again.

Tommy: If you collected four orgranstrisms from...

Me: Muuuuch better.

I can't WAIT to see the district's write-up on me!

An Oldie, but...

2011-03-14T18:37:00.000-07:00

A goodie.

I was recounting this story to my student teacher today, and it reminded me that I haven't told it to YOU yet!

Many years ago, I had a very sweet, but VERY nervous fourth grade student named Kasey.

Kasey wanted to be a good student and worked very hard, however he never quite climbed out of the middle of the pack. If grades were based on effort alone, he certainly would have been at the top of the class.

Well, Kasey must have become disillusioned with never getting the grades he thought he should, so he decided to take matters into his own hands.

He cheated.

But found out he's not much good at that either.

You see, my students had two grammar review worksheets to complete each week and I left out the answer book so they could check their work.

(Of course I understand that students will use it for cheating. Quit rolling your eyes at me. They were review sheets, not the SATs.)

Those that chose to cheat at least got the benefit of seeing the right answers...

and were usually thrown under the bus by their peers anyway.

So anyhoo, Kasey copied answers to at least two questions directly out of the book.

I called him up to my desk, and as soon as he saw the paper in front of me he began to shake.

Me: Kasey, I know you copied these two answers right out of the book.

Kasey: No I didn't.

Me: Kasey, I know that you did. I am disappointed that you made that choice.

Kasey: No I didn't. I swear Ms. Lee.

Me: Kasey. Please, now is not the time to be dishonest. You made a bad choice, but we all make mistakes. Just own it, take your consequences, and let's move on.

Kasey: NO! I didn't copy! I swear! Please Ms. Lee!! You HAVE to believe me!

Me: Really, Kasey? Do you even know what "Answers may vary" means?

We called him "Answers May Vary" for the rest of the year...

behind his back, of course.

Pencils?

2011-02-24T19:44:00.000-08:00

You don't need no stinkin' pencils.

At least that's what we're telling our students.

You see, pencils have become the most sought after commodity in 4th grade at our school. No matter how many we supply the students with, they all disappear within a day or two.

Such a little issue. Such an enormous headache.

So we monitored the pencils. Handed them a pencil when they walked through the door in the morning, and ripped it from their sticky little fists at the end of the day. It was their ticket in or out of our rooms.

First day with a sub...

all the pencils disappeared.

So we got more pencils. Handed one to them in the morning and collected them each time they changed classes.

Next time we had a sub...

all the pencils disappeared.

So we begged the office to give us more pencils, which they are reluctant to do because we have certainly used more than our fair share of the pencil budget and they potentially could do nothing but get us more pencils (and fix all my attendance screw-ups...but that's a story for another day.)

Within two days...

TWO DAYS!!!

all the pencils disappeared.

We made one final plea for pencils. We were granted more, however we were also nicely admonished (rightfully so) about our excessive pencil consumption.

And today, we had subs so we could attend a meeting...

but we still have all our pencils!

Because we hid them.

We gave the kids pens and made the bulk of the substitute's job being the Pen Police.

We tell the kids all the time that it's the little things in life that are going to make or break your success.

I think this little thing is going to make or break my sanity.

I See Bully People

2011-02-19T14:00:00.000-08:00

I love a good twist at the end of a movie. One that you didn't see coming and that leaves you with that smiley "DAAANG" feeling. Well, I experienced that smiley "DAAANG" feeling at school and it was even better than at the movies.

I have told you before how, like most people, bullies at school really get under my skin, especially when they target the visually impaired students at our school.

How LOW can you get?

Bullying a BLIND kid?

Really?

Well, it happened again.

Yesterday, one of the aides from our visually impaired class came to me with one of her students who was in our fourth grade last year and told me the following story:

Nick was in the restroom when another student came in, wet a big wad of paper towels and chucked them right in Nick's face. The bully then said, "Ha ha! And you can't even see who I am!"

(My jaw is tightening as I type this. It is infuriating to me.)

When Nick told the brat,

I mean the punk,

I mean the other child

that he might not be able to see him but he would recognize his voice, the kid announced he was a fourth grader.

A fourth grader? One of our students?

Well, I had not dismissed anyone to the bathroom in the past 10 minutes when this had occurred so I marched over to the other room and asked my partner if she had.

She had.

A boy.

With a looooonngg history of poor choices in his wake.

My heart sank.

This kid is one who we know wants to do well, however he lacks any initiative to do so unless one of us is right next to him. Free from our sight, he seeks out trouble.

I called him off to the side.

Me: Have you been to the restroom lately?
Him: (Head hung low) Yes, Ma'am.
Me: Was anyone in there with you?
Him: (Slow head nod)
Me: Did anything happen that I should know about?
Him: (looooong pause) Wellllll, Nick was in there. (Looooonger pause)
Me: Yes?
Him: And a bigger kid threw wet paper towels in his face and made fun of him for being blind so I got in between them and told the bigger kid to leave him alone and that if he didn't leave I was gonna tell.
Me: (looooooooooooooooooong pause) THAT'S FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!! Well, not the bullying part, but the part where you helped a kid being bullied sure is!!!

After we talked, our fourth grade hero bravely marched into a fifth grade room and openly identified the bully, whose name he did not know. We told him he could just identify him privately to us, but he wanted the bully to know who turned him in because bullying a blind kid is wrong.

We then sent our fourth grader to the office for his first visit to the principal to be recognized for making a fantastic choice instead of a fantastically awful one.

I love a good twist!

Abort Mission!

2011-02-07T17:59:00.000-08:00

There is no better way to get to know a kid than to have lunch with him.

I did that today with George. He's that lovable little imp who did this and this.

How did it go, Edna?

Just fine.

The End.

C'mon! Would I be writing about it if it went well?

I realize I need to get to know George better. He's a kid in need of a little TLC...

...if TLC stood for something OTHER than Tender Loving Care.

He had good behavior (relative term here) last week and just wanted to spend some time with me as a reward.

aaawwwwww!

That really is touching, so I invited him to bring his lunch to my room on Monday and we could do a little art together while we eat.

First thing in the morning, he shouted to me from across the playground that he couldn't WAIT for lunch today.

"Me too!" I shouted back. (I'm going straight to hell.)

Lunch rolls around and he arrives right on time, smile on his face and juice in his hand.

Me: Where's your lunch?

George: I don't want any. It's burritos.

Me: I don't want you to skip lunch. At least go get some fruit.

He leaves and returns 0.0003 seconds later.

George: No fruit left.

Now, I can't just snarf down my lunch in front of a kid holding a sweating bag of juice as his entire meal, so I handed over 3/4 of my lunch to him, which he gobbled down in less time than it took him not to go get some fruit.

And then it was time to make shoe monsters! (Take off your shoe, trace it on a piece of paper, put your shoe back on, make a monster out of your shoe's outline. Take THAT, Van Gogh!)

Well, I got as far as the tracing my shoe part when the Real George emerged.

George: That's your shoe? This is my shoe. I can't get my shoe back on. Put my shoe on for me. My velcro is stuck. Fix my velcro. I don't like laces. Laces are stupid. You should use velcro shoes. Is that gonna be your monster. I'm gonna make a purple eel monster out of my shoe. I want you make an eel monster too. I want you to use the purple marker. Is yours gonna have hair. Give yours hair. Elvis hair. I want you to make a mustache. Smell this marker. Draw a car in the sky with a ladder for him to climb. Then give him wings.Use the blue marker.

Me: I'm not going to use the bl...

George: USE THE BLUE MARKER! Blue is my favorite color and eels are my favorite animals. I like pizza. I think I'm going make mine eating pizza. You need to make yours eating pizza. Did you draw pants on yours? Why? I don't like pants that snap. They hurt my belly. I don't want you to draw pants. I want...

Me: How about you draw yours your way and I'll draw mine my way?

George: I aaaAAAmmMMM! Draw big teeth on yours. Right here. Name yours Purple Elvis Eel Monster. That is what I want you to...

Me: Oh darn. Time for us to end our lunch together.

George: AAaawwWWww...

Me: I know. I feel the same way. (Straight to hell, I tell you...) Time flies!! Why don't you hit the restroom.

While he hit the restroom, I hit the wet bar I keep stashed in my desk. (Just kidding.)

My plan backfired. While I do indeed know him better, I learned that to know him is not to love him.

And I'm still hungry.

The Bits is A-Twitter

2011-02-05T09:56:00.000-08:00

For those of you who follow The Bits via email or rss reader and haven't visited the site in a while, you might not know about the latest addition.

The Bits is on Twitter!

Follow along @DearEdnaLee.

Hopefully, I'll see you there!

Riddle Me This

2011-02-04T18:08:00.000-08:00

Why is it that when a grade level has success with students by addressing student needs in a different way than the rest of the herd at school, they are ostracized and ridiculed for being different? Are we educators no better than the mean girls on the playground? Can we not put our petty fears aside and simply recognize the students' success?

Which is why we're all here, right?

If teachers are genuinely doing all they can to meet their students' needs, no one will question if they're doing it in the same manner as another group of teachers or not. IF they are doing all they can, that is.

Could it be that only those who realize deep down inside that they are indeed NOT doing all they can, feel the need to lash out? Are they afraid of the unknown or afraid they might be asked to change and it might be uncomfortable?

Or is it just easier to do what they've always done?

Gone are the days when we can simply blame a student's lack of success on his or her economic situation, language ability, parental involvement, or willingness to learn.

Whether we agree with it or not, we have to teach them all and we are responsible for the outcomes.

Also, gone are the days when you can always do what you always did. How we approach teaching has to be as varied as the students in our classrooms. What works for one student or group, may not work for another and we don't get to blame the students for that.

(We can satirize them anonymously on a blog while writing under a pseudonym, but we can't blame them.)

Now I understand that middle school and high school are different animals, and students have a greater say in their success or failure, but I am an elementary school teacher so that is the beast I understand best.

And what I know, without a shadow of a doubt, is that kids will walk through fire for a teacher that they believe truly cares about them.

If they know that they are not a number to you, not a statistic, not a success or a failure to you, not a pie graph or data to be analyzed they will work hard for you.

If you tell every one of them that there is NOTHING they can do that will make you not care about them, they will work hard for you.

If you tell them that they are so important to you that you want to know their families and regularly invite them to informal events where you just chat and get to know them personally, they will work hard for you.

And parents will know you on a deeper level, which naturally endears you to them.

If you repeatedly tell students that you don't care what score they get on their tests, but only that they try their best, they will work hard for you.

And their scores will go up.

If you tell them that learning to be a better person is more important than being a better student, and you try your best everyday to model the level of respect you want them to show others, they will work hard for you.

And their scores will go up even higher.

And you will risk being hated by your colleagues for not focusing on the same things they focus on, yet having more academic success than they are.

And those colleagues...

can suck it!

You Called it What?

2011-01-17T10:44:00.000-08:00

Sorry, sorry, sorry. You know how regular life can get in the way of the life you really enjoy? Well, that's me right now. So, let me take a break from regular life and share with you a story from the life I really enjoy.

But before I do that, I have some bad news. Lou moved! You remember him? The kid who did this and this. I was so sad to see him go. He's a great kid and hope great things happen for him.

But on to funnier news. (At least, I hope you find it funny.) Well, if you don't find it funny, you'll at least find it inappropriately racy.

In my science classes, I have been teaching about ecosystems and how living things have adaptations to survive in their environments.

After studying the desert ecosystem, I began the "Build a Better Human" project in which students designed a "new" human that incorporates adaptations for desert organisms so that we might better survive in the desert.

One sweet little girl gave her human a long, hollow tongue so that he could capture ants that might seek shelter under rocks.

She called it, "The Suck Job."

Another student created a tortoise-like shell on his human's back and explained that it was defense against any toads and lizards that might jump on the human.

He called it, "The Horny Shield."

And our final entry in the "Don't hang THAT up at Open House" competition comes from Zeke.

Zeke was writing a summary of a story we'd read and here is an excerpt:

Marven was happy he met Jean Louis. He was lonely at the logging camp and Jean Louis played with him. Marven didn't have to play with himself anymore.

When we met to edit his summary, I made a few suggestions…

Me: Zeke, let's be more specific in this sentence. What did Jean Louis play with Marven?

Zeke: Lumberjack games and songs.

Me: Then let's add that. Now, let's also change this other sentence about Marven playing WITH himself to say, "Marven didn't have to play BY himself."

Zeke: Why? What's the difference?

Me: Ummm…

I Count

2010-12-04T08:24:00.001-08:00

Well, it looks like The Bits has been landing on lists all over the place!

The Bits can be found on this 50 Amazing Blogs for Elementary Educators
list and this Top 50 Blogs by Elementary Educators.

There are so many wonderful bloggers out there sharing ideas and stories. Drop by those sites and check them out!

Thank you very much to those who thought to include my little bloggy on their sites.

Don’t Mess with Coach

2010-10-31T18:02:00.000-07:00

Friday was field trip day!

If you are a regular reader then you know that field trip day usually involves adventures like this and this.

Amazingly, THIS time it really was adventure free!

So then why write about it, Edna?

Because, and I am being brutally honest here, I am an awful, awful person. I really, truly am yet I am going to offer no apologies for it (and I feel bad about that too.)

Now, before I begin my story, let me tell you that I am not proud of the story I am about to share. I realize that a better person than me would not have allowed this to happen.

So here goes…

I while back, I shared a story about George, the student who got busted for telling his neighbor that I am the smartest teacher in the world.

Well… I am OVER that shame I felt for busting him because that was about the last nice thing that kid ever said about anyone.

He hits.

He throws elbows.

He pinches.

He shoves.

He bullies.

He name-calls.

He back-talks.

And this is not just how he treats kids. Adults are fair game to him too.

He is, in general, kind of a difficult person for others to like.

And when you address these behaviors with him, he folds his arms, furrows his brow and stomps away from you like a toddler in need of a nap.

So, I'm having a hard time warming up to him.

I recognize this shortcoming of mine though; therefore I make extra efforts to reward him for making good choices and being kind to others. He is, after all, just a kid.

But frankly, I know I am just faking it. And since I am faking it, it was inevitable that I eventually would fail him.

As I did.

On the field trip.

Our naturalist at the estuary also happened to be the wrestling coach at a local high school and told the kids to call him Coach.

He was great with the kids, keeping them learning and laughing the entire time, however he soon grew weary of George's constant complaining and off-putting attitude.

At one point, Coach was talking about an ecosystem while looking for a vocabulary card in his backpack. He sort of left his sentence hanging while he dug around in the bag and George sarcastically yelled out, "Aw Geez! Like you're really prepared to teach US!"

I immediately stepped forward to take George aside, but Coach gave me a look that told me he wanted to handle it and said,

"Now George, I know you think you're funny but looks aren't everything."

SLAM!

The entire class snickered and ooooo-ed behind their hands.

George was quiet for the remainder of the trip, silenced by the adult who handed him low blow

and the teacher who did not step up to comfort him.

Aloha

2010-10-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

Here is a story shared by a third grade teacher in the lounge today:

Mrs. X: Alex, tell your father what you shared in school today.

Alex: I like Hawaii.

Mrs. X: Alex...

Alex: I like Hawaiian girls.

Mrs. X: And?

Alex: I like Hawaiian girls in grass skirts.

Mrs. X: Aaaand?

Alex: Fine. I like Hawaiian girls in grass skirts and their BOOBS!

'nuff said.

Less is More

2010-10-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

I'm beginning to feel that if Lou ever moves (He's this guy and this guy), I'd have to close up shop and call it a day.

This guy is blogging GOLD!

Where do I begin?

Oh! I know! Thursday!

On Thursday, Lou came to me before lunch and said he'd like to talk to me about a problem he's having with another student.

WOW!

Since his M.O. is usually to push, shove, stomp, or scream at a kid, I was pretty impressed with this move so I arranged for him to talk to me at lunch.

At lunch he strolled in, pulled a chair up to my desk, and said:

So you know how I take that medication, right?

I do. ADHD meds.

Well, I take it mostly because I have a hard time controlling myself. Sometimes, when I get mad, I lose control and hit kids.

I've noticed.

Well, I think I'm gonna hit Sammy and I don't want to do that.

WOW!

Well, you see, he's always bugging me, following me, and he won't leave me alone. I've asked him NICELY to play with other people but he just won't go away.

(Insert image of Lou screaming LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! LEAVE ME ALONE! in Sammy's face.)

I know his methods might be a bit, shall we say, abrasive, however we work with the tools we've got. Lou hasn't taken a swing at Sammy yet so I'm all good with what's happened so far and pretty durn impressed with his willingness to ask for help.

So I tell Lou that I agree with him in that he and Sammy should not be playmates for awhile. I say I'll talk with Sammy about finding some other playmates; however Lou has to agree to stay away from Sammy as well. If he initiates contact with Sammy, all bets are off.

Deal!

Jump to late in the day on Friday, when I finally have time to pull Sammy aside and talk with him alone. He readily agreed to find other friends to play and stay away from Lou. The whole encounter was over in less than two minutes and Sammy said about two words. As I am talking to him, I see Lou watching us and feel that great teacher feeling you have when you know you're winning over a tough nut who trusts no one.

(Insert image of Lou accepting the Nobel Peace Prize and in his speech he thanks Mrs. Lee because she was the one he "could always rely upon". Camera pans to an older, yet surprisingly stylish me, wiping away a tear using a tissue handed to me by his mother who is forever grateful for the impressive impact I had on her son.)

As we leave for lunch, Lou stays behind the rest of the class and says:

So, you know how Sammy just told you about how I pointed my binder at him like a gun, cocked it and pretended to shoot him with it…
…over and over again?

(Insert furrowed brow head nod from me.)

Well, I didn't do that.

And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, less is more. Lou had to be suspended for the rest of the day because even imitating guns is a suspendable offense and Two-Word Sammy had a great afternoon.

How Thoughtful

2010-10-07T19:28:00.001-07:00

The Bits is on a list!!

The fellow over at Masters in Education has oh so kindly included The Bits on his "100 Blogs That Will Make You a Better Teacher" list.

Clearly, this is a man with discerning taste.

The list has some great blog resources on it for teachers of all levels so you might wanna drop by and check it out. I found a few more to add to my Google Reader!

Never Leave a Man Behind

2010-09-19T20:12:00.000-07:00

My students were rotating from two doors away to my room for science. As the last few stragglers climbed down the stairs, a little girl dropped her massive binder and papers went hither and yon with the wind.

Lou, of identity crisis fame, popped up from behind the stairs, threw one hand in the air to get my attention and yelled,

We'll be there in a sec, Mrs. Lee. We've got a folder down! Send reinforcements!

I think I'm gonna like him.

Identity Crisis

2010-09-11T10:17:00.000-07:00

My teaching partner told a funny story yesterday about one of our kids.

On Fridays, students who have done their work and largely made positive behavior choices for the week get rewarded by participating in a “Fun Friday’ activity, which usually consists of turning them loose on the playground for 20 minutes…

also known as Nirvana.

Those students who need to complete work or make better behavior choices remain in a classroom to continue with academics in Study Hall…

also known as AAaawwWW Darn.

Yesterday, Lou was one of the students in Study Hall with my teaching partner. He asked permission to go to the restroom and really looked like it was an emergency so she dismissed him to go. Lou is a pretty impulsive, immature, but generally sweet. Although he’s had some troubles at school in the past, he’s doing well so far this year, outside of whatever landed him in Study Hall. So off he went, one hand pinching off any unintended leaks and the other out in front of him like football player ready to crash through the defensive line.

And he was gone.

And gone.

And gone.

When she became concerned about his whereabouts, she sent out a scout to track him down and within seconds he was safely returned to the classroom. He sheepishly stood in front of her and whispered:

“Sorry I took so long. I… I…”

He what, go lost? Was playing around? Decided to take a mini-break to Cancun?

“…accidently…”

OooOOOhhh, he had an accident. Got it! His expression looked like he’d had an accident, but his pants didn’t. Where’s the splotch? Was it the OTHER kind of accident? (sniff sniff)

“…used the girls’ restroom.”

Whaaa???

You see, this boy ran frantically to a restroom,

A restroom,

ANY restroom,

which happened to be for the ladies; however he did not realize this...

yet.

Once he found relief, he looked around and found horror. THIS was clearly the ladies’ room. Well, we assume he had to stay hidden in a stall until the coast was clear, which can take a while towards the end of the day…

also known as Restroom Rush Hour.

Whoops!

Belly Flop in The Pool of Shame

2010-09-03T18:38:00.000-07:00

I’m just going to say it.

I’m afraid… but it needs to be said. Dare I say, it DESERVES to be said.

I…

I llloo…

I loooovvvvv

ILoveMyClass!

There! I said it. (Please, please, puh-leeeeeez don’t let that jinx me.)

They are just so sweet and wonderful and I actually look forward to seeing their smiling little mugs every morning.

Why am I so enamored by them? Just yesterday, as I stood in front of my classroom door giving them directions (which they actually listened to!!), I watched one of my students from last year wander by us. He was completely tangled up in his jacket with one arm stuck straight up, his hood over his face (because the jacket was on backwards), and the other arm stuck in the zipper. Although he was putting up a pretty good fight, the jacket was clearly winning.

Maybe the jacket had some trick up its sleeve? (ha!)

Or possibly it was just some hood, taking advantage of the poor boy. (Somebody STOP me!)

And I looked at my new class and loved them even more.

So why ya swimmin’ in the Pool of Shame, Edna?

Well, old habits die hard. Is that a good excuse?

Last year we could give no leeway, no second chances, no flexibility at all when it came to behavior or else we suffered the consequences. So when I caught one of my boys whispering to his neighbor during my math lesson yesterday, I did not hesitate to nail him with a consequence, which he humbly accepted.

As we were leaving for recess, his neighbor came to me and said:

I know George shouldn’t have been talking to me but he was just telling me that you’re the smartest teacher he’s ever had.

And then she walked away, leaving me to drown in my giant pool of shame.

help!

I’m Baack! (I hope…)

2010-08-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

So here I sit, avoiding doing all the work I have on my growing to-do list for school (which starts in about a week) by posting a bit on The Bits.

Where was I?

In short, I was busy just trying to survive the most difficult school year I've ever had and doing so without finding the funny in it. The last thing I wanted to do when I got home was revisit my school day online.

BUT, it's a new year and a fresh start and I am rejuvenated and fired up again! (Did I use enough "ands"? I've got a quota to meet, ya know.)

Nothing gets a girl fired up more than some good old public education controversy.

Anybody heard about the LA Times releasing LA Unified School District teachers' ratings based on their students' progress on California state testing?

I got myself all caught up in reading all the responses to the article. The only conclusion I've reached thus far is that rating teachers is a complicated and messy business! I certainly have more questions than answers.

Take the class we (my teaching partners and I) just finished teaching (PLEASE!). In my opinion, they made very little progress last year. We spent far more time putting out fires all day long than we did teaching standards and that drama lasted all year long. We fought the same behavior battles day after day and tried millions of intervention techniques, but with little success. However our students, who came to us quite low, did comparatively well on the state test. They tied for first place in the district in math and tied for second in language arts!

Clearly, we did more teaching of standards than we thought, however that does not mean that we really had a significant impact on those students in the areas that they really needed help. It felt good to see that they had done well on the state test, don't get me wrong, but at the end of the day, we were unable to effect any change in their social behavior which may impede them more than anything else in the future.

Sure, at the time of the test, they could do multi-digit multiplication but if they're doing it while punching another kid in the face does it really help them become successful adults?

I'm not fishing for compliments here. We all understand the value and limitations of standardized testing. What I really would like to hear is…

What constitutes an effective teacher and a successful school year to you?

Snapshot

2010-02-03T19:20:00.000-08:00

Summing up my class in 10 words or less:

Sammy: A puzzle!

           Wait…

           50 pieces!?!

          That's TOO much work.

Sign of the Be Verb

2010-01-15T16:13:00.000-08:00

As I may have mentioned before, we leveled our students this year in an attempt to lessen the achievement gap in each subject. Our largest group is the Intensive group and they are also the ones who have the farthest to go to meet fourth grade benchmarks.

They also have some of the best little personalities on the planet!

All week, my unbelievably awesome student teacher has been working with them on identifying the Be verb in their textbooks and using it properly when speaking and writing. They started off today by going on a Be verb hunt in a story they read. In small groups, they read the story and kept a log of the ones they found.

In the Intensive group we also have two blind students. Most of the time, they work without the assistance of a full-time aide and are the Rock Stars of the World, but they just happened to have one checking in on them today and she was working with them on the verb hunt.

With a big grin on her face and snickering under her breath, she asked me to come and see the work they were doing. I wandered over there and she asked young Kyle to give me an example of what he'd found. (For my long-time readers, Kyle is this kid, a visually impaired firecracker!)

Big grin on his face, pride and self-confidence brimming over, Kyle announced that he had found "was" in the story and that "was" is a beaver!

"It's what?" I asked.

"A beaver!" he repeated proudly.

Oh dear… we have some enunciating to do.

“I was a Child Psychology Major.”

2009-12-12T09:01:00.000-08:00

When a parent utters those words, it clearly indicates that the direction your parent meeting is about to go in is now out of your control.

But I'll get to that later. (Hope you're sitting in comfy chair. This is a long one.)

My team and I had two parent meetings today. Although we called the meetings to discuss exactly the same issues with both parents, the two meetings could not have been more different.

Meeting Number One

Me: Hello Mrs. Nguyen. Thank you for coming to meet with us in this miserable weather. I hope you didn't get too soaked getting here.

Mrs. Nguyen: No.

My Partner: Well, we asked you to meet with us to discuss Samantha's progress in math. While we feel that she is a capable student and she certainly demonstrates a good understanding of the math concepts when working with the class, she is getting very little independent work done. We're pretty sure, based on what she can do when we're teaching the concepts that she is able to do the work, however she is not completing it. We have noticed that she has a tendency to daydream. We think that is playing a big part in her inability to complete her work. Have you ever been told that she daydreams in the past?

Mrs. Nguyen: Yes.

My Other Partner: Have you found that she does it at home when she's doing her homework, etc?

Mrs. Nguyen: Yes.

(Wow, someone shut this lady up!)

Me: Well, since we all agree that daydreaming seems to be impeding her success; I would like to make a few changes with regards to her seating and set some work completion goals for her that she must meet to remain in my math class. If she understands the concepts but fails to meet the work goals, we'll need to meet again to discuss what else might be getting in her way and if changing her to a lower math group might help. I'll be sure to invest some extra time in Samantha to ensure I am doing all I can to help her stay on task. Does that sound like a fair arrangement?

Mrs. Nguyen: Yes.

My Partner: Do you have any questions for us or any suggestions that might help us out with her?

(Gosh! Give us something. Anything!)

Mrs. Nguyen: No.

(Damn.)

My Other Partner: Thank you for coming in to meet with us. We feel strongly that when we work with the parents as a team, the students have a greater chance at success so thank you again for sharing with us.

Mrs. Nguyen: Yes.

(Preeeeegnant pause…)

After she left, there was a sort of emptiness in the room. I felt unsure if Mrs. Nguyen understood what we were trying to tell her.

I asked my Other Partner, who shares the same ethnicity with Mrs. Nguyen, if, from the Asian Perspective, our meeting was a success.

She explained that Mrs. Nguyen's reactions were "very Asian." She said that Samantha's mom would probably not feel comfortable questioning us, but that Samantha was most definitely going to catch it when they got home. She was willing to bet her first born son that Samantha's daydreaming days were over.

Time will tell, but I'm willing to bet my Other Partner's first born son that we will see some changes in Samantha as well.

Meeting Number Two

Oliver's mom was up next. Her son Oliver exhibited the same exact daydreaming tendencies in math class.

(Maybe I need to face up to the fact that I am just not that interesting as a math teacher?)

Me: Hello Mrs. Smith. Thank you for coming to meet with us in this miserable weather. I hope you didn't get too soaked getting here.

Mrs. Smith: No. I rather enjoy this change of pace. As a matter of fact… (Insert a loooooooooong story about her 35+ years of experiencing rain and its impact on her life as a child, an adult, and a parent who feels her children are her life.)

My Partner: Well, we asked you to meet with us to discuss Oliver's progress in math. While we feel that he is a capable student and he certainly demonstrates a good understanding of the math concepts when working with the class, he is getting very little independent work done. We're pretty sure, based on what he can do when we're teaching the concepts that he is able to do the work, however he is not completing it. We have noticed that he has a tendency to daydream. We think that is playing a big part in his inability to complete his work. Have you ever been told that he daydreams in the past?

Mrs. Smith: Yes. As a matter of fact… (Insert loooooooong story about Oliver's previous school and how abusive the teachers were and how neglectful and cruel they were, and how they made him stand in the hall for one hour and six minutes (exact quote) because he didn't finish an assignment but wouldn't tell him why he was out there as a power play over him (so she knows why now because…?), and how (she doesn't want to start crying now) cruel and abusive the other students were to her son simply because he's a creative and sensitive boy who happens to be one of her two children who are her life.)

(Wow, someone shut this lady up!)

My Other Partner: Have you found that he does it at home when he's doing his homework, etc?

Mrs. Smith: Yes. As a matter of fact… (Insert LOOOOOOOONNNNGG story about how when she was a child she thought that daydreaming was when you leave your body and can see yourself working while floating above yourself, and how she used to leave her body in class and watch herself working and when her teachers would regain her attention she would be startled to be back in her body again and that is why Oliver seems startled, and how she is sure of this because her children are her life.)

(Really?!?!)

Me: Well, since we all agree that daydreaming seems to be impeding his success; I would like to make a few changes with regards to his seating and set some work completion goals for his that he must meet to remain in my math class. If he understands the concepts but fails to meet the work goals, we'll need to meet again to discuss what else might be getting in his way and if changing him to a lower math group might help. I'll be sure to invest some extra time in Oliver to ensure I am doing all I can to help him stay on task. Does that sound like a fair arrangement?

Mrs. Smith: Yes. As a matter of fact… (Insert … oh hell, even I don't care what she has to say at this point.)

My Partner: Do you have any questions for us or any suggestions that might help us out with him?

(Dude! Shut up! What are you DOING?!?)

Mrs. Smith: Yes. As matter of fact, I was a child psychology major and my children are my life. I don't know why he is not paying attention in class because I know he can do this math, but I have a theory… (Insert looooonngggggggggggggg story about how we clearly are a compassionate group of teachers (Thank you!) and he does not know how to handle kindness after all the abuse he's endured so he's waiting for us to be mean and doesn't know how to function in a caring classroom environment, and how I left him behind when we were packing up the other day and how he was scared and got lost finding the bus (That he's been going to for 4 months? Head out the door, hang a right, step on the bus.) and how he was crying when she picked him up from daycare because of the gripping fear he had of being left behind and lost (LOST!?!?!) at school that day (Here I asked her if Oliver was late for the bus and crying when he got to it, and she said she has asked was told he was on time and did not appear distressed when he got on the bus but that he was holding it all in until he was in the comforting arms of his mother) and how he felt distrustful of my Teaching Partner because he made Oliver's Social Studies project 2 weeks late when he insisted that Oliver finish it before turning it in and how if he could have turned it in as it was (unfinished) Oliver's work would not have been late and how Oliver was then not comfortable turning it in until it was totally finished because he's a very literal boy causing him never to turn it in because it had to be totally finished (So how 'bout he GET it finished then and turn the damn thing in?) and how we should come down hard on him to get him to get his work done because he will continue to take advantage of us unless we start to really drop the hammer on him, and how she never has to discipline him because their relationship is so strong and he completely trusts her and never lies to her (Soooo, the 2 math tests he hid from you and the letter regarding this very meeting that he hid from you leading us to have him call you at work to explain all that and arrange this very meeting fits in where?) and how there is really no need to be strict with him and it's not an effective method of motivation for her son, who is her life.)

My Other Partner: Thank you for coming in to meet with us. We feel strongly that when we work with the parents as a team, the students have a greater chance at success so thank you again for sharing with us.

Mrs. Smith: Thank you too. As a matter of fact...

(Damn.)

On the Contrary

2009-12-06T17:04:00.000-08:00

And now, allow me to introduce you to Melinda. Or, as I like to call her…

The Contrarian.

She is the fourth grader who is ALWAYS the opposite of everyone else.

Why?

Simply to BE the opposite.

All.

The.

Time.

During Art:

Me: So I've cut this shape for the head. What shape did I cut?

Class: An oval.

The Contrarian: A square. To ME, that looks like a square.

During Math:

Me: Now that we have the sum, let's check our work. What's the opposite of addition?

Class: Subtraction.

The Contrarian: Backwards Addition. Well, it literally is, right?

During Reading:

Me: A hyperbole is an exaggeration used to help paint a picture in the reader's mind. For example, when I say, "These shoes are killing me," am I really dying from wearing them?

Class: No!

The Contrarian: Yes, you could be dying and just not know it!

And thus it went, day in and day out...every topic.

So finally, I had reached my limit and so had my teaching partners. Sometimes, for sanity's sake, we all have to learn to go along with the herd at times.

I decided to call The Contrarian in during lunch and have a talk about what it means to be a "creative thinker" and what it means to be "a contrarian," and how the two are NOT the same thing. While there are times when The Contrarian's oppositeness leads to advanced thinking, more often than not though, she is simply trying to gain attention by being the opposite.

She is a master at parsing things very thinly and enjoys arguing with others. She'll dance the dance of the righteous all night long if you're willing to sing for her.

We, her teachers, were done singing and were now going to give her consequences if we find that she was purposely being a contrarian. This was all done with the blessings of the school psych, who was working with her on exactly these social skills.

And that, oddly enough, led us to scientifically prove that whole "apple not falling far from the tree" theory.

Not long after our talk, The Contrarian got her first consequence for her behavior.

Something funny was said in her Math class and everyone laughed…

But she didn't. She wildly shouted "LOL LOL LOL LOL LOL!" at the top of her lungs instead.

Her math teacher gave her a mark on the behavior chart. A mark is a warning and students get three warnings a week before they are excluded from Fun Friday as a consequence.

That afternoon, an email arrived from The Contrarian's mother asking for an explanation about the mark and
the teacher explained why it was given.

The mother replied by wanting to know what was wrong with shouting out LOL in class. It's a socially acceptable form of communicating laughter in the world of texting.

The teacher responded by saying that if he had been teaching the lesson via text, LOL would indeed have been acceptable, however he was not.

And the mother responded by saying that LOL is simply a modern form of laughter.

So the teacher explained that indeed, LOL, in and of itself, is not the real issue here, but it's the bigger issue of attention-seeking behaviors on her daughter's part that we would like to address. According to the school
psych, her daughter's impulsive behaviors and need to one-up everyone has led to her complete lack of friends. While we want to foster creativity and uniqueness in each and every one of our students, we all must try to fit in sometimes if we plan on living around others.

And the mother responded by saying that how her daughter chooses to laugh should not have an effect on how many friends she has.

(Has this woman ever BEEN around children?)

Again, the teacher reiterated his position that the WAY she laughed is only symptomatic of a larger issue.

And Mom asked if he was planning on letting the World Wide Web know that he had banned LOL from public use.

(Apple – Tree…VEEERRY Close Together.)

I see children inherit more than eye color from their parents.

Listen, Think, then Do

2009-12-01T08:00:00.000-08:00

That title is a phrase I have adopted from one of my teaching partners in an effort to help this VERY impulsive group of fourth graders make better decisions.

You see, every year the third grade teachers say, "Juuuust wait until you get THIS bunch of kids. You'll see how crazy they are!"

And every year things work out just fine.

Something tells me THIS year might break our streak though.

This bunch is a highly excitable, highly impulsive, highly deceptive bunch of kids. When we attempted to submit many of their names to our school psych for participation in the Social Skills class she runs, she informed us that she began the Social Skills intervention BECAUSE of this group when they were in the First Grade. They were so poorly behaved and cruel to each other she began an entire intervention program just for them. However, they had to eventually dismiss each and every one of them from the group because their behavior was too severe.

Gulp.

Now what? She is a truly gifted psych who has changed the lives of many students at our school and even SHE has all but given up on this group.

So we are starting with the basics. We simply want to help them be more successful in doing the small things in class, like getting out a pencil without chaos ensuing, so we began the "Listen, think, then do" campaign.

Let's look at this campaign in action, shall we?

Me: We are going to work on some math problems in our journals. Listen.When I say GO, take out a pencil. Think. What are you going to do? (pause. while students "Think") Go.

Students dive into their desks and many resurface with a pencil in their hands, however two come up with scraps of torn up paper and one with a pen. His neighbor has no writing utensil at all but does have tears streaming down his cheeks and one hand over an eye.

Me: Artie, why are you crying?

Artie: Frank stabbed me in the eye with a pencil!

Me: Stabbed you in the eye?!?!

Frank: Did NoooOOOoOT! I don't even HAVE a pencil! It was a pen.

Me: You stabbed him in the eye with a pen!?!? Artie, go to the nurse.

Frank: I didn't stab him on purpose.

Me: Can you explain how you stabbed him by accident?

Frank: I was taking the cap off and my hand flew back and stabbed him in the eye with the pen.

Me: Was the cap stuck?

Frank: No.

Me: Then what caused your hand to fly back?

Frank: The pen was stuck.

Me: In what?

Frank: The cap.

Me: Isn't that the same thing as…forget it. When I said Listen, what did I tell you to do?

Frank: Take out a pencil.

Me: When I said Think, what did you think about?

Frank: How much more fun it is to write in pen.

How did I not see that one coming?

It became monumentally clear that not only must I break down my directions into minute bites for them, I must also think aloud for them too.

I must verbalize what they should do,

how to do it,

when to do it,

where to do it,

and anticipate everything they might do in place of what I want them to do and warn them of the potential consequences.

Phew! Knowing that makes my job muuuuuch easier.

Billy and the Cliff, Revisited.

2009-11-30T19:03:00.000-08:00

Remember the time Billy almost fell off the cliff on a fourth grade field trip?

Well, we went on that same field trip again recently. Thankfully, no one came close to Butch and Sundancing it this time.

Per my usual, I drove the "emergency car" while my fellow teachers rode on the buses, therefore I arrived fresh and ready for a hike…

and my coworkers placed a hex on my kind.

We divided the kids into groups, assigned parents and teachers to each of the groups, and started off on our hikes.

Although it is tempting to assign only parents to groups with the rowdiest kids, we thought it better that we be professionals about this and take those groups ourselves. We rock-paper-scissored to see who got the group with James in it.

(I know I haven't told you about James, but I feel that previous sentence speaks plainly as to his popularity among his teachers.)

I got his group.

So it was James, 3 girls who barely speak English, and 2 other boys who can hardly read.
And OFF WE GO!

Now, James is a smart young man. He's a good thinker and learns things very quickly. If only he'd use is powers for good. He does struggle with some severe ADHD issues and a "touch" of Oppositional Defiance Disorder. Let me tell you, a "touch" is all it takes to drive every adult within earshot to drink.

Our first stop is the Plant Identification Station where students are given a clue card with a plant description on it and they must wander among the foliage and identify the plant on their card.

Did I mention about the non-English speakers and non-readers?

So this station became the "Three little girls huddled together giggling while two little boys pulled leaves off of bushes and James hopped up and down on a log" Station.

Stop One: check

At this point, our guide pulled me aside and asked about the group.
I just smiled at him and said that today he would earn every penny of his salary.

Next stop: bird watching.

When we arrived at the edge of the estuary, binoculars were handed out and students were given a quick demonstration on how to use them. There were about a billion birds within 50 feet of us, but my students were using the binoculars to look at bugs on the ground, up each other's noses, and at a drainpipe three feet away.

And then disaster struck.

The guide said, "Oh! I almost forgot to warn you. Never use your binoculars to look directly at the sun."

At which point, six little heads with binoculars firmly in place over their eyes snapped their heads back and looked directly at the sun.

I imagine the screams were audible several miles away, which is, I also imagine, where all the birds flew.

Sorry next group to arrive at bird watching…

"OOwwwww. My eyes burn!"

"I can't see anything! Everything is covered in splotches!"

"¿Por qué el hombre mal nos dijo mirar el sol?"

Don't worry, I called the nurse and she said that if they only glimpsed the sun, the splotches should subside and they should be fine. I was to call back if they couldn't see in an hour.

Stop two: check

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Their vision quickly returned to normal and we had a fun time digging in a midden and digging for "decomposers" in a dirt-filled shoe box with rubber worms in it.

All in all, not a bad trip this time!

Tall Glass of Crazy, Anyone?

2009-11-22T18:43:00.001-08:00

Have you noticed how teaching is much like a pregnancy?

The first trimester is the shakiest, with the most queasiness and unexpected pains.

The second trimester is more on auto-pilot. You're used to the weirdness of it all and are comfortable in the rhythm of it all.

The last trimester you begin to feel some anxiety. There's more pressure and more tests, and your excitement is tempered with a bit of dread.

I've recently completed my first trimester of teaching this year, year 13 (bad omen) in my career. Good news for my sanity though and that means I MAY have more time for my beloved blog.

Here's what I've been up to…

Last year, my co-4^th grade teachers and I decided to experiment with teaming. We dipped our toes in the water by leveling the kids in math and each of us took a different level. As kids showed progress we moved them up to another level. If they needed remediation, we moved them down. Flexible and ever evolving groups designed to meet the needs of the kids.

It was a huge success. Our math test scores were the highest of any grade level in the district. (That's not meant to be bragging…)

Soooo, we thought that since it was such a huge success with math, why not try it with Language Arts?

In fact, let's see if we can't make it even more engaging for the students and, with our principal's permission, ditch the adopted language arts curriculum. Let's use science, social studies, and novels to teach the language arts standards!

And that's the exact moment we drank the kool-aid. Three cups of sugar and a packet of fruity crazy, in case you were looking for a recipe.

Hurdle #1: One teaching partner lost her spot at our school, so we had to convince someone else to drink some crazy. Luckily, our principal is very supportive of us and made it pretty clear to our new partner that she was onboard whether she liked it or not. Thankfully, she liked it (or she's the greatest faker in the world) and we've all worked well together.

Hurdle #2: We have 97 students now.

Hurdle #3: We must participate in writing of 97 report cards. (Hush now high school teachers. I know, I know.)

Hurdle #4: We MUST work well with each other. EVERYTHING we do affects the others.

Hurdle #5: About every hour, we have a new group of kids staring at us.

Hurdle #6: Every moment without students in front of us, is spent meeting with each other about the students, the curriculum, the schedule, and then the students some more.

Hurdle #7: Without an adopted language arts curriculum, there is no safety net. Every lesson must be written and developed by us and it must include the language arts standards.

Hurdle #8: Although we teach the same subject 3 times a day it is never the same lesson 3 times. For example, after I teach math to the benchmark students, I teach science to the benchmark language arts group, then the advanced, then the intensive.

The benchmark kids are like driving a Volkswagen.

The advanced are like driving a Ferrari.

The intensive are like carrying a Ferrari on your back.

Through the snow.

Uphill.

Hurdle #9: We can no longer use singular pronouns.

Hurdle #10: It is more work than any of us has done in our combined 28 years of teaching.

But it's not all hurdles. There are some great aspects to teaming for EVERYTHING.

Perk #1: I have learned what a wonderfully gifted teacher my new teaching partner is, however I still miss my old teaching partner.

Perk #2: Our 97 students have 3 teachers who care deeply about their success. They can come to any of us for assistance or just to chat and they have really responded positively to that change.

Perk #3: By participating the writing of 97 report cards, we all have a chance to have input.

Perk #4: Working so closely with each other allows us to steal all the best of what the others do. It also gives us the gift of reflection and perspective. We must be ready to potentially change things we have always done if it conflicts with the vision of one of the other teachers. More often than not, it's made us better teachers.

Perk #5: Every hour we have a new group of kids staring at us and a new chance to teach that lesson even better.

Perk #6: Although we meet A LOT, we enjoy each other's company. Additionally, we can warn each other if one student is having a rough day or if another needs a little TLC.

Perk #7: Our students are learning how to read and write and they don't even realize it. Science, social studies, and novels are so engaging to them that the fact that we're focusing on those mundane common and proper nouns doesn't even faze them.

Perk #8: Grouping the kids has not eliminated gaps between high and low students in each class, but it has lessened it. We can reach more students in a day and target what they need more effectively.

Perk #9: "We" and "Us" replacing "I" and "Me" has given us a voice at our school that few can challenge. In the famous nerd words of Spock: "The needs of the many outweighs the needs of the few or the one." Because we speak with one voice, our principal has been more accommodating of our requests.

Perk #10: Pretty much everyone with a job these days is working harder for less money. We are no exception. We get bonuses in the form of 97 smiles, 97 Good Morning Mrs. Lee's, 97 chances to make even a small difference.

It's all worth it.

But damn I'm tired.

A Letter to the President

2009-07-28T11:56:00.001-07:00

Dear President Obama,

I have a suggestion. I may not be the first to float this idea past you, but let me assure you of my confidence in its success. Here goes…

After attending a five-day training on a new math adoption, I think you should consider using school district trainings on newly adopted curriculums as a method of gleaning information from those "enemy combatants" we've been detaining.

This new form of torture, shall we say, is certainly more humane than what we've been using and can still achieve many of the same results. Critics of our current methods might also be more amenable to this newer form of "information acquisition." To that end, let me point out that CNN and MSNBC have never shown up at any trainings I've attended asking tough questions of the interrogators

…I mean trainers…

about their feelings on torturing people who may or may not have done anything wrong…

I mean TRAINING people who may or may not require five days of instruction on a program that comes WITH instructions.

So it's a pretty safe bet that using the proven methods I suggest, you can torture away without any interference from the media or other critics.

Take the now infamous waterboarding we've used in the past, for example.

Criticism of this method of "information acquisition" has filled the newscasts for months now. If I understand it correctly, interrogators simulate the feeling of drowning in an effort to "encourage" detainees to give up information.

Well, after only two days sitting in a five day math training on a relatively straightforward math adoption, I felt like I was drowning in deep pools of wasted time. Additionally, we were weighed down with more standards to teach than are humanly possible to learn in 180 days. Even if I could utilize the mountains of components available in the curriculum (which they made pretty clear we are required to do) such as the EL Handbook, the centers cards, the Advanced Learners (who?) Handbook, and the Review Workbook just to name a few, I'm pretty sure I will never be able to teach all the standards and sub-standards to a mastery level in one year.

Oh yes, dear Mr. President, I feel like I am drowning all right. All without a single drop of water (because water was unavailable due to budget cuts.)

What about the use of stress positions used in Guantanamo? Asking detainees to remain uncomfortable positions for hours on end, right?

Twenty-five year old folding chairs.

Need I say more?

By day three, my butt was worn so flat I was actually sitting on my pelvic bone.

Of course there are more techniques available at district trainings, but for now I'll leave with you with those above.

Think about it, Barack.

Just think about it.

Swinging Balls

2009-06-25T12:11:00.001-07:00

[Note to self: always preview a movie before showing it to your class, even if it's a movie supplied on the Discovery Education web site designed for children.]

So we all know that the last few weeks of school are filled with, well, time-killers. I really made an effort though to use that time to finish up some last minute science lessons.
You know… actual teaching.
Our district subscribes to Discovery Education's web site that has streaming videos on about every topic imaginable. I use it all the time because most of the videos are very well done and you can use whole videos or simply show applicable video segments.
So I was teaching about magnetism and energy during those last weeks of school and at the last minute I found a video on Discovery that looked very topical for our learning that day…
And it WAS all about energy…
And magnetism…
And, as a bonus I suppose, it had a more than a few opportunities to teach students about such things in ways that, when viewed through the overtly dirty minds of some of my fourth graders, appeared a bit racy.
Take the "swinging balls" experiment for example.

I believe the actual name for this thing is Newton's Cradle or Newton's Swing.

All I know is that all through this section of the video, the narrator kept saying things like:
"What do you think will happen if I lift one of my balls and then let it go?"
"Will all of my BALLS swing wildly?"
"Will none of my BALLS swing at all?"
"What if I lift up two of my BALLS?"
"How can I make all of my BALLS swing?"
I watched as the eyes of my boys darted around the room at each other, and little smirks grew on their faces. Then the soft giggles began and I admonished them for not behaving like scientists.
The giggles then became stifled snorts and hidden snickers….
from me.
Gimme a break! The dude kept saying "swinging balls!"

After the "Swinging Balls" experiment, the video went on describe how energy can be created using a bar magnet and a coil of wire.
Let me show you how to do it.

Take the fingers on your left hand and curl them into an "o" shape. That's your coil of wire.
Then stick out your pointer finger on your right hand. That's your bar magnet.
Now, insert your "bar magnet" into the center of your "coil of wire" and repeatedly move it in and out.

SEE the problem?
So, I actually ended the year covering more science topics than I anticipated…
Energy, magnetism...
and reproduction.

Just an Update

2009-06-23T09:08:00.001-07:00

Hello Old Friends! How I have missed you all!

I just thought I'd post a bit of an update and share a few stories just for conversation's sake.

Update:

My dearest is doing much better. He has damage to his kidneys from TTP. He receives dialysis three times a week and we hold out hope that he can eventually regain enough kidney function to sustain himself without the aid of a machine. Keep your fingers crossed!

On a happier note, after a mere 14 years together we've decided to make me a Mrs. Lee rather than a Ms. Lee. Wedding plans are time-consuming though so my plans to return to The Bits this summer may have to wait until after our August nuptials.

And now for some stories!

When did fourth graders stop thinking that the opposite sex has cooties? At the end of the year, we had a rash of "couples" who were meeting for make-out sessions. Not the innocent pecks on the cheek that might seem endearing to some, but instead the go-for-it, tongue-blasting, hands-groping make-out encounters seen on many high school campuses. First of all, I've worked in close contact with these students and their oral hygiene habits are questionable at best. So, eewwww is all I can say there. Secondly, they are nine and ten year olds who are not recreating a Norman Rockwell scene but instead are recreating a Jay-Z video. Not appropriate. When we discussed it with the parents though, they found the whole thing amusing.

Geez.

Could part of the problem be our children's exposure to so much sexualized content on tv and in music? Have we all become numb to it? We had a talent show at school and a few students did a dance routine to the unedited version of the song "Get Low" which features such lines as:

Sweat drop down my b@lls

All these b*%ches crawl

All skeet skeet m*therf*&kers

And no one batted an eye or even seemed to notice except for the few teachers familiar with the song who watched in horror as ALL the students sang along.

Or how about the kids who danced to "Yeah" by Usher, with Ludacris' opinions on meeting women in clubs:

I won't stop till I get 'em in they birthday suits.
So gimmie the rhythm and it'll be off with their clothes,

then bend over to the front and touch your toes.

Really!?!? At an elementary school talent show?!?! The talent show acts were supposed to be pre-approved by the PTA, but I don't think they even understood the lyrics to the songs.

Somehow, those acts don't fit in with the other students who tap danced, sang a duet (in a make-believe language) with a puppet, or pulled a quarter from another kid's ear.

Here's hoping that things are less gross in your neck of the woods and everyone is enjoying their summers!

Hi Everyone

2009-03-22T20:13:00.000-07:00

Well my friends, you're not going to hear from me for a while. The love of my life has been diagnosed with a serious blood disease called TTP and I'm taking time away to care for him and get him healthy. As soon as our life gets some normalcy returned to it, I'll jump right back in the saddle.

Until then, I will miss chatting with you all and look forward to returning to The Bits.

Thanks!
~Edna

The Good News and the Bad News

2009-03-06T06:00:00.000-08:00

Sorry I have been so late in updating you about Sean's progress.

(Houseguests. What can I say?)

There is some good news to report.

Sean experienced recess as a blind student and felt the awesome helplessness that comes with being unable to see.

Would it be wrong of me to say it was an eye-opening experience?

The mobility teacher took him around with a blindfold and a cane and helped him struggle around the playground for 15 minutes.

He reports feeling lost and disoriented. He mostly felt nervous though because he couldn't see what might be flying at him at any moment.

We related that to the feelings the child he was bullying might have, and he really seemed to connect with his victim for once. (Yeah!)

The next day, we visited with our VI teacher and a VI student in third grade. Sean and I had developed interview questions ahead of time, so he just jumped right in with the questions.

He learned that our VI teacher, who is blind himself, likes to work with power tools, play catch with his kids at home (called "Bean Dad with the Ball"), skis in the winter, and loves to go bike riding.

Sean did not expect that.

He learned that his VI peer plays on a soccer team, loves reading, and wants to be a police officer when he grows up (just like Sean).

Sean did not expect that either.

Thank goodness, the kid he interviewed is just a ball of personality and a joy to chat with. He really made our experience fun!

Following the interviews, Sean and I talked about what he had learned and he found that he had still more questions for them like:

How does the teacher ski or ride a bike when he can't see?
How does his peer play soccer when he can't see the ball? How does he know when he's scored?
What kind of police officer would he like to be because Sean wants to be a K-9 cop.

So we went back for a follow-up interview and Sean learned:

The teacher skis with a partner who warns him about trees and other dangers. He rides a tandem bike with his wife (but he's pretty sure his wife doesn't participate in any of the peddling.)
The student's soccer team is comprised of blind children and the soccer ball has bells in it so they can hear it. He knows he's scored a goal when he hears the goalie say, "aawwww."
He would like to be a police dispatcher since they probably won't give him a gun.

Sean and I talked some more after the follow-up interview and we spoke about what Sean would like to do if he could hang out with either of them.

He wants the teacher to teach him how to read Braille, and he wants to play soccer with the student.

Ah Ha! Now we have things he can earn with good behavior and good choices! Currency! That's our next step.

Sean also feels like he's found a friend in the VI student. When we walked in the door for the follow-up interview, the kid said, "Hey Sean! Is that you? I was hoping you'd come back!"

When we left, Sean said, "That kid is really cool! I feel like we're friends now!"

Coming from a kid with no friends, that's quite a realization.

All and all, I think we're on the right path here. I have hopes for him. Not high ones yet, but hope is good enough for now.

Oh… the bad news?

Since Sean and I began working together, he's karate-kicked a kid, dug his fingers into another kid's back, and jammed his butt into someone's face. He's been banned from waiting in line with any other children now.

Hopes…not high ones, but hopes.

Sx3 Rocks!

2009-03-05T17:51:00.001-08:00

Good news, ya'll!

Well, good news for me anyway.

I won The Scholastic Scribe's Silly Sunday Sweepstakes prize!

For those of you not in the know, The Scribe hosts a weekly photo caption contest. I participate every week because it's just plain fun, but last week she offered up a prize to the winner with the best caption.

To my shock and surprise, I was selected! Yipeee!!!

To see my wit in action, read my blog.

No, what I meant to say was click here. (Wow, was I just rude!)

If you don't currently participate in the Silly Sunday Sweepstakes, or Sx3 as it's affectionately called, let me encourage you to give it a go next Sunday. It's always good for a giggle.

A great big thanks to The Scribe for the dandy Target Gift Card, or as I like to think of it, several new pairs of pants!

Heart-Warming

2009-02-23T11:15:00.000-08:00

I'm so happy to report that my story about Sean has touched a few people. That is always nice to hear!

I received the following message via email and found it so heart-warming that I asked the author, Spedteacher from NYC, if I share it with all of you on my blog.

Your story elated me more than I can express. When I was in elementary school my best friend was blind. I used to carry his heavy braille texts and his heavy braille typewriter. I would lead him around the school and help involve him in our games during recess. I was the biggest kid in the school and nobody messed with Alan because that would mean messing with me. I was very peace loving (still am) but I know how to look very intimidating (still can do that, too).

In the summer before fifth grade I developed a (thankfully temporary) crippling condition that required me to use a wheelchair to move around. When we returned to school I told Alan what had happened and that i could not lead him around anymore or carry his stuff because I needed my arms to propel my chair.

Alan reached out and felt around my chair as I told him what had happened to me that summer. He asked if I could still see and I told him I could. He asked if I could steer the chair if someone pushed it. I told him I could. He asked if I could carry things on my lap and I said yes, I could. He thought for a while and said,

"Okay, I think this will work. You'll still carry my stuff, but on your lap. I'll push and you'll steer. That way you can still lead me and I can still get around easily." I was glad we could still work together, and he replied,

"You know, between the two of us we make a pretty capable person."

Your posting reminded me of Alan and how much I learned from him. I hope Sean learns, too.

Thank you, Spedteacher, for sharing your story with me and allowing me to share it with my readers. You are inspirational!

I asked Spedteacher what happened to Alan, but like most childhood friendships, they lost touch after Spedteacher moved away. Wouldn't it be great if they could reconnect after all these years? I want a Movie of the Week ending for Spedteacher!

Alan! Are you out there?!?!

Easy Target

2009-02-22T15:59:00.001-08:00

Like most teachers, I have little patience for bullies. I despise hearing of students picking on each other.

I get especially hot under the collar when I hear about students bullying our visually impaired students.

Our school is lucky enough to be the home to the Visually Impaired (VI) class for our district, so that means we have about 12 students who are either totally blind or have significant vision loss. They range in age from kindergarten to sixth grade and all are mainstreamed for part or all of their school day in regular education classes. Some have an aide and all get around with the help of a cane and, at times, an adult or student helper. I am proud to say, we have no shortage of sighted students who volunteer to be a helper to one of their VI peers.

It is a wonderful opportunity for kids to learn from a young age how to live and work with individuals who are differently-abled than themselves. They have grown accustomed to seeing students tapping along with their canes, finding Braille tabs on all room numbers and signage, and seeing a working adult with a guide dog (because the teacher of the VI class is blind as well.) This chance to develop respect and understanding of others is not wasted at our school.

Unfortunately, those kids are also the target of bullies.

In my opinion, only the most desperate of bullies would choose to pick on a blind kid.

And in this case, the desperate bully is Sean.

Sean is not in my class. Throughout the year, he's been sent to me for time-outs by his teacher. We've developed a relationship of sorts, since he's in my room so much, and we even worked out a contract that would allow him to earn tickets from me that he can use to get popcorn on Fridays if he is behaving in his class.

That is until he discovered how easy it is to victimize a kid who can't see you.

If you want to join in on the fun with Sean, you too can run up behind a blind kid and shove him…

and then run away.

Or you could swoop in from the side and rake your nails down his arm…

and then run away.

Or, better yet, you can kick his cane out of his hands…

and then (you guessed it) run away.

And the beauty of it all is in the simplicity of it…

He can't see you to retaliate.

How Sean didn't realize the fun in all this before 3^rd grade, I'll never know.

So he sheepishly darkens my door a few mornings ago, heavy-of-heart and note-in-hand from his teacher explaining what he's been doing.

Now, I don't get loud often. I'm more of a whisperer when I'm fuming because the growling whisper is far more fear-inflicting than any yell could ever be.

But I got loud this time.

I could not BE-LIEVE he would do this, which is exactly what I told him.

While I was railing him, my class was shakily trying to complete their morning work and listen in at the same time, which is exactly what I was hoping for because when I said that I was sure that there would be more than one student on our campus who would volunteer to step in the next time they saw Sean go anywhere near the other kid, each one of my students slowly raised their hands to be that volunteer.

I was so proud of them. At that moment, they were everything that is great about humanity.

I had Sean turn around to look at who was going to stop him the next time he attempted to victimize that boy and he was truly humbled.

I asked my class how they planned to do this without participating in bullying behavior themselves and they suggested that they would simply stand around the other student and make a human shield to preventing Sean from getting anywhere near him. They figured their sheer number would cause him to stop whatever he was doing. (I could have hugged each and every one of them!)

I then had Sean cover his eyes completely and had him attempt to fetch a pencil from my desk. He bumped into desks, walked into the closed door, nearly fell face-first over another student, never made it anywhere near my desk, and was teared-up at the end. When I asked him why, he said it was embarrassing to stumble around in front of others.

And then one of my toughest boys said, "You only had to stumble around in front of us, but that other kid has to stumble around in front of the whole world."

A little rough in the delivery, but the sentiment was all there.

So I designed an intensive program for Sean for the coming weeks. Tomorrow, he'll be working with our mobility teacher. She teaches our VI students how to use their canes and their other senses to make their way through the world. She will blindfold Sean and help him to make his way around the playground during recess time, the single most frightening time for a VI student, with only the help of her voice and a cane.

Then he'll be interviewing a blind adult (our VI teacher) and a blind student his own age to find out about how their lives are both similar to and different from his own. Then, he and the blind student will complete a compare/contrast diagram together about their lives. Then he'll research on the internet about blindness and write a report about what he's learned from all his work so far.

Finally, he and I are going to develop a plan for him to become a helper in the VI classroom. I'm hoping that if we make him an "expert" of sorts in this area, he'll become less of an offender and more of a defender of others.

I'll keep you posted on his progress.

Totally Worth It

2009-02-14T09:00:00.001-08:00

Here's a Valentine's letter I received from one of my little girls yesterday.

Dear, Mrs. Lee

I LOVE you. You are the very bestest teacher I have ever had. I will always remeber you and all the things that you teached us. You can always make us lagugh and I will think about you when I am in 5^th, 6^th, 7^th, 8^th, 9^th, and all the other grades that come after that. I really do love you

One of my favoritest memorys is the time you wrote a story about how Mya did CPR on a man in the park and saft his life. (By the way, Mya is my dog and is the main character in every story I model for my students. That particular story was on the topic of heroes.) I love bean in your class and I wish you could be my teacher for ever. You make coming to school very, very, very fun.

Love, always

Linda

P.S. I REALLY love you!!!!

Ok, it official.

This job…

Totally worth it.

Happy Anniversary to Me!

2009-02-14T08:36:00.001-08:00

Welp, it's been 1 year and 1 day since I began The Bits.

Thank you for listening to me yammer on about a teaching life that is probably strangely similar to many of yours.

Here's to hoping more bizarre, story-worthy events continue happening to me at work (or else I'm not sure I can continue this job!)

Cheers!

Edna

Elton John Knows Best

2009-02-06T18:25:00.001-08:00

Oh Harvey, Harvey, Harvey...

You, me, and your constant behavior issues had called a truce as of late.

Why couldn't you have just quietly gotten in line at the end of recess?

What WERE you thinking?

Announcing that "Ms. Lee sucks" and that "she isn't even smart enough to do 2+2" miiiiiight not have been your best move this year.

You see, I don't care if you hold me in low regard but all the other kids in our class evidently DO care because they

Threw

You

Under

The

Bus…

BIG TIME!

You see, Harvey, even though YOU thought you were sharing your feelings in confidence with your friends, THEY thought you were mean-spirited and ratted you out before you could finish the word "two".

And have you forgotten Harvey, that next to soccer, the best played game on the playground is "Fastest Tattler in the West" and some of them are pretty darn quick on the draw, let me tell you.

In addition to ostracizing yourself, you gave me 30 students anxious to assuage my damaged feelings and therefore readily behaved like perfect little angels for the remainder of the day; not to mention how they believed their efforts would easily rank them higher than you in my esteem.

But all the drama that ensued the next day could have been avoided if, when I pulled you aside and asked you why you said those things and if I had done anything that we needed to talk about (to which you said no), if only you'd apologized rather than simply hanging your head and nodding like a sad mute….

Or when I pulled you aside at the end of the day to say that an apology would have been appropriate, and you still just nodded your head, we could have put this to rest.

But you didn't.

And you showed up the next morning, smiling and all full of "Good Morning, Ms. Lee's" while your classmates stared at you like you were a foreign object in our room, and I simply said, "Good morning, Harvey. The principal is waiting to speak with you."

And you hung your head and nodded your sad mute nod.

And now your continued disrespectful behavior, both in school and at home, has earned you a dressing-down by the principal, a phone call to your father who dressed you down in two languages, a week in the hole (aka - library detention), a twice-weekly visit with the counselor, and a spot front and center in our police department's behavior boot camp.

Elton John was right…

Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Now I’m Pissed

2009-01-31T10:04:00.001-08:00

There is a primary teacher at my school who has a very challenging student.

We'll call him Floyd.

Floyd torments other students before class, during class, at recess and lunch, and after school. He's just a pill, as my mother would say.

His teacher always shares stories about what Floyd has done each day and she shared one with me yesterday.

Except… I'm not going to tell you that story.

I'm going to tell you what happened as a result.

You see, Floyd was up to his usual high-jinx yesterday and a gaggle of kids came up to the teacher to complain about how they'd been wronged in some fashion or another by him at lunch. Instead of hearing each case on the docket individually, she gave each student in her class a piece of paper and instructed them to explain the problems they had in a letter to her.

Most of the letters were filled with stories of ketchup packets and nasty language being thrown about by Floyd.

Until Robby's letter, that is.

It went a little something like this:

Dear Teacher,

My lunch went fine. I ate everything on my tray and cleaned up when I was done. I know that you are looking for people who had problems with Floyd but I did not have any problems with Floyd. The only problem I had was when I went to the bathroom I accidently peed on my pants.

Love,

Robby

“What the…?”

2009-01-24T11:02:00.001-08:00

So there's a new trend in my classroom lately. The frequent use of:

"What the…?"

No, they don't finish it. They simply say, "What the…?" whenever something is unclear or shocking to them, leaving me wondering how they might have finished that sentence if I weren't standing in front of them.

"What the…helicopter?"

"What the…fudge brownie?"

"What the…heck can I do to make Ms. Lee's life run more smoothly because she's the light of my life and the greatest teacher OF the world?"

Somehow, I think not.

But the use of "What the…?" has permeated my class, despite my constant reminder that NOT finishing that sentence is tantamount to ACTUALLY finishing that sentence in my book. Despite consequences, conversations, recriminations, and public stoning of repeat offenders (ok, not really), they continue to try to sneak it in as often as possible.

Can't figure out a long division problem? Look confused and say

"What the…?"

Lost the note the supervisor gave you for me? Pat around on your jeans' pockets and say

"What the…?"

Get your butt kicked at tetherball? Shake your fists at the heavens and yell

"What the…?"

Fail your vocabulary test…again? Throw on your mask of disbelief and whisper

"What the…?"

See you mom waiting for you after school…

in her pajamas…

and wearing heels?

Shake your head and mumble

"What the…?"

(Ok, I'll give 'em that one.)

Little do they know, we teachers would never STOP saying "What the…?" if it were allowed. They scenarios that we face daily with these kids and their wacky families topped off by our cracked out administrations could potentially leave time for little else but "What the…?" responses.

Parent complains that the kids line up in alphabetical order and their child is always last so he never gets to walk by you (even though you walk at the end of the line)? Scrunch up your eyebrows and think

"What the…?"

Seven hundred eighty-sixth child raises their hand on a Monday morning to share a "One time, when I was blah blah blah" story? Shrug and think

"What the…?"

Principal sees you in the office and says, "Edna! Come on in! I have a favor to ask." Frantically develop your next excuse to stay off of a committee and think

"What the…?"

See! We all have "What the…?" moments, but if teachers don't get to say it, neither do the kids.

What the ___ do you think of that?

Take This Doughnut and Shove It

2009-01-16T18:40:00.001-08:00

Ungrateful...

Every month, a different grade level team brings treats in for the staff.

This month was my team's turn.

Our social committee even assigns a specific day for you to bring them, but the general rule is to bring them sometime during that week.

My team was told on Monday (first day back from vacation) that Tuesday was our treat day.

We shot for Friday.

One teacher picked up doughnuts, another brought muffins, and I was responsible for juice and coffee.

When I arrived at school this morning lugging an assortment of juices and 2 Starbucks' Travelers, there were five big boxes of freshly baked doughnuts and muffins laid out across the table in the lounge. Napkins had been decoratively placed in swirls and the room smelled like sweet heaven (for a change).

Oh, and one primary teacher was bitching to another about how stupid it was for us to put these doughnuts out in the morning.

And I quote:

"This is stupid of them. Who wants a doughnut right now? We've all just eaten breakfast at home. They should put them out later."

When would she suggest, at dinnertime maybe?

Exactly when IS "later" when you're a teacher? Recess? That's a great plan. Our recess is last, so more than half the staff would miss out during their earlier recess.

Or maybe we should we leave our classes to fend for themselves possibly a bit closer to noon so we might offer up these doughnuts to teachers at a time more suitable for their digestive systems?

Or maybe we should just be on-call all day for individual classroom doughnut deliveries once each teacher begins to feel a bit snacky?

Or MAYBE you can just take a doughnut NOW and stick it in your friggin'…

lunchbox

for later.

Like water off a duck's back, I let it go and began laying out the coffee, creamers, cups, etc. As I'm doing so, another teacher wanders in says:

"Oh goodie! Doughnuts! I'm glad they could figure out how to bring something good…

since they couldn't figure out how to bring them on the right day!"

That

Was

IT.

I slammed down the coffee and said through gritted teeth:

"If one more, just ONE MORE, person makes ONE MORE comment about these doughnuts I am going to pile them up in the parking lot and back over them

WITH
MY
TRUCK!"

Oddly enough, not one person made a single comment to me about the doughnuts for the rest of the day.

Oh, and the doughnuts were all gone by my recess so I didn't even get one.

Just as I suspected, teachers aren't going to let a little thing like breakfast get in the way when it comes to consuming doughnuts.

Hello?

2009-01-08T18:30:00.001-08:00

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!

So many of you have written asking where I have been. It's nice to be missed.

Where have I been?

Right here, just without much to say. Most of my material comes from my students and I have not been around them in quite a while.

Why?

I had a great student teacher who took over for several weeks, leaving me to plug away on my laptop in the teachers' lounge (where I completely shattered the bond between another teacher and her own daughter by proving to her that her practically perfect teenager did indeed have a Facebook page DESPITE her mother's admonition that she NEVER get one. OMG! She's normal!)

Then we went on Winter Break. School starts up again on Monday, so I should be ripe with material by 2:20 that afternoon!

On a happy note, annoying and forever ailing Travis moved over Christmas vacation!! His mother was The Screamer who got my year off to a rip-roaring start because of my "stupid, friggin' homework policy." They bought their first house in a town many, many miles away from our school. So many miles away that there is little chance he or his equally obsessive twin will drop by for a visit.

It was the single greatest Christmas present a student every unknowingly gave me.

On their last day, their mother made a big deal about complimenting both me and the teacher of the twin on our exceptional teaching skills. She raved about how accommodating we are and how our caring hearts made a huge difference in the lives of her sons. She wished that we could just move right along with them and continue teaching her kids. She topped it all off with a great big hug for both of us.

Is anyone else ready to puke, or is it just me?

In typical Travis fashion, he spent every moment at school talking about how he would be moving soon, how many schools he'd been to (that would be 3, in case you were wondering), how he would have to make new friends all over again (which is weird because he moved back to the neighborhood he came from and would be attending the school we went to last year), and forever reminding us of the countdown to his last day.

A few weeks before his departure, I was teaching about ecosystems. I posed an open-ended question to the kids and asked them to take 30 seconds to discuss it with the kid sitting next to them. Sitting right in front of me, Travis turns to his partner and says, "So…are you going to miss me when I'm gone?"

That was not the open-ended question I had posed.

In the nanoseconds before I could lean over and ask him to get back on topic his partner says, "Not really."

Ahhh, natural selection in action!

On a very sad note, my sweet, sweet seeing-double student who wore his brother's glasses to school has also moved. Right after we arranged for him to get free glasses, his parents' home was foreclosed on and they had to move. Every teacher on my fourth grade team will miss his infectious smile terribly.

Unfortunately, he is not the only student who left due to foreclosure. I also lost a little girl to the economy on the same day. She was a sweetie too.

It looks as if the economy is catching up to my little school's neighborhood in a bad way. I'm curious to see who I still have left in my class on Monday.

Well, thanks again for all your messages, both in comment form and via email.

I promise to be more diligent!

When Good Intentions Go Wrong

2008-12-01T14:18:00.001-08:00

Of course, I am sure we all would agree that offering vision screening at school is a good thing, right?

Evidently, it puts a bit more stress on families than we thought. It might even lead to deception.

You see, I have a very sweet young man in my class who struggles in all academic areas. I sent him to the vision screening just in case his eyes might be part of the problem.

As it turns out, he does have a bit of a vision problem…

he sees DOUBLE! (And he's struggling? Really?!?)

So we send home a note to his mother saying that he needs to be seen by an eye doctor.

No response.

We call home and leave message.

No response.

I talked to the student about how important it is for him to go to the doctor and asked him to push his mom to take him.

No response.

Weeks and weeks go by without a visit to the eye doctor.

And then one morning there was my students sitting at his desk with eyeglasses on his desk!

With a big smile on my face, I compliment him on his new spects and ask to see them on his face so I can "see how handsome" he looks in them.

He slips them on his big grinning face and

they're smudged

they're bent

they're crooked

they're too small for his head and

they're obviously not glasses made for him.

So I ask where he got them.

"From my mom."

So I ask where she got them.

"She just brought them home."

So I ask if he went to the eye doctor.

"uummmmm, yes?"

So I ask where.

"uuuummmm, Long Beach?" (Nowhere near where he lives.)

So I say, "Well, kiddo. I'm a bit worried. I don't think those glasses were made especially for your eyes like they should be."

And I had a nurse call his mom to check.

Sure enough, they were not his glasses. In an attempt to end our phone calls, notes, and messages, his mother gave him his little brother's glasses and told him wear them.

Initially I thought what a rotten thing that was for her to do. Her kid is seeing double and all she wants to do is get us off her back about it. Giving him someone else's prescription glasses could make things worse for him!

But then I put myself in her shoes. She has no insurance, no money, and no access (that she knew of) to any assistance. Maybe she just didn't know what to do.

Of course, our school has information on all sorts of programs to assist students in need of free medical care. We arranged for him to be seen by a doctor and get his glasses at no cost.

Am I being too easy on her? Is it just bad parenting to avoid addressing your child's medical needs or can it be justifiable under some circumstances?

Deck the Halls

2008-11-29T17:41:00.001-08:00

Or the palm trees for that matter.

As a transplanted East Coaster living in California, I haven't been swept away by the Christmas spirit in several years. Ever since the first Christmas my mother and I did not travel back East for the holiday and she insisted on having a roaring fire in the fireplace despite the 87 degree temperatures outside, I just haven't been feeling it. Our family tree has gone from a giant Fir we cut down ourselves, to a tall artificial, to a smaller artificial, to what I lovingly refer to the Christmas bush which remains decorated in a bag in the garage, awaiting unveiling a few weeks before Christmas. Seriously, we are one step away from simply hanging a picture up of a decorated tree and calling it a night.

But all that may have changed tonight.

As I was walking my dog around my neighborhood this evening, I caught sight of a family decking out their patio with holiday cheer.

All four of them were in the socal uniform of tee-shirts, shorts, and flip-flops. If that doesn't spell Holiday, I don't know what does.

Mom was stringing colored lights around the palm tree in front of their patio, a move that will most certainly result in a pink note taped to their door on behalf of our homeowners association chastising them for garishly decorating a community tree or some other nonsense.

Dad was hanging icicle lights along the patio fence while screaming, "Hand me those damn lights on the ground there, son. NO, the other damn lights. NOOOO…not those. Those fu*&ers by your foot!"

Son was hunting around by the light of half-hung Christmas lights for the right fu*&ers to hand his father, and daughter was sitting on the stoop sobbing because, from what I could gather, she didn't get to put the light-up Santa where she wanted it so therefore she was on strike.

Ahhhh, Christmas is in the air! Can you feel it too?

Ouch!

2008-10-30T21:37:00.001-07:00

Please enjoy this little reenactment of today's dismissal conversation on the playground.

Anthony: What are you going to be for Halloween, Ms. Lee?

Me: Oh, I haven't really picked out anything.

Anthony: Maybe you could be a witch? You could get all hagged-out with green make-up, have messy hair, and put a wart on your nose.

Me: That is a good idea, Anthony but let's face it: it's gonna take a bit more than some green make-up to make my beautiful face look "hagged-out." Just look at me. I'm gorgeous! Not even a mask could hide my good looks. Ok, maybe a really thick rubber mask, but none of those flimsy ones. My beauty would just radiate through one of those. Turning me into a hag would be a big job.

Anthony: Or you could just put on a pointy hat.