I ‘Spect the Signs Ain’t Clear

(In case you're new to this blog or a frequent flyer that doesn't hang on my every word, I have a very low class this year. Mostly sweet and well-intentioned, but L-O-W. I have 1, that's a one, that's the number just before two but thankfully after zero, that is a proficient reader. Did I mention that she can't add or subtract?)

So we have been studying word roots, and this week we focused on –sign and –spect.

We talked about the definitions of both word roots and generated a list of words containing them and discussed their definitions. I made sure that the words found on the practice book page we would be completing were on our list.

Our list included words such as inspect, respect, design, signature, signify, etc.

And then we attempted to complete the page…

together…

with me feeding them answers like Lucille Ball working in a chocolate factory.

First, we read the directions which stated students were to fill in the blanks in sentences using the –sign and –spect words in the word bank.

I added to the directions by having the students circle the word roots in each word.

Next, we read each word and pretended to draw in the air while reading any word that had –sign as a root and pointed at our eyes with every –spect word.

Finally, I hauled in a dead horse and we beat it just for good measure.

We echo read the first sentence (I read, they read).

Me: I liked the creative (blank) drawn on the picture.

Students: I liked the cretif blank drawn on the picker.

Me: Alrighty! I see the word "drawn" in the sentence, so I can guess we need a root that has to do with drawing. Talk to your table groups and decide on a word that would make sense.

(Students discuss possible word choices)

Me: Anthony?

Anthony: Inspector!

Me: Nope. Good try though. That has –spect as it's root and that means "to look." Nikki?

Nikki: Spectator?

Me: Nope. Good try though. That's another –spect word. "To look," remember? We want the one that has to do with a sign or mark. Robert?

Robert: Spectacular!!

(I'm freaking out now because this is the best their little collective minds can muster.)

Me: Noooope. Boys and girls, what are the two roots we learned about?

Students: -spign and –sict

Me: That's right, -sign and –spect. I am going to give you a bigger hint. I want you to look at the words with the letters s-i-g-n in them. Work with your group to reread the sentence and put your finger on your word choice.

(Students reread and make new choices)

Me: Vanessa?

Vanessa: Spectacles?

Me: No… Ok, the word we are looking for starts with the letter D. Travis?

Travis: Dolphin.

Me: Dolphin? Really? How about you, Joe?

Joe: Spectacles?

Me: DESIGN! The word we are looking for is DESIGN. Put your finger on the word design in the word bank. THAT is the word we need. It starts with a D and has s-i-g-n in it. It is something that can be "drawn." All the SIGNS are there that it's the correct word (of course no one got that). Now write it on the blank. Let's save some time here, the answer to number two is "signify." Number three is…

Once we were just about out of answers, I let them participate again because there were so few chances to guess wrong, although they still did…

every time.

All the while, my poor student teacher is sweating bullets in the back of the room because she knows soon she'll be leading this little group of misfits.

Herding cats, I tell you. Herding cats.

My Butt Hurts

I hate spending my Sunday filling out report cards.

'Nuff said.

Meeping Strikes a Chord

Well, I've heard from many people on this topic. Some wrote by way of comments and others via email, all sharing a common knowledge of or sympathy for the atrocities of being Meeped.

Evidently, meeping is the silent annoyer and worthy of inclusion in the next presidential debate.

With our voices united, the candidates will be forced to address the issue. Let's rally together to bring an end to meeping in our schools, shall we?

I can hear it now. <Dreamy music plays, everything goes wavy, and Edna slips into a dream world of presidential debates>

The moderator, the Scholastic Scribe, asks, "In recent years, a wave of terrorist meepers have stealthly moved into our neighborhoods and schools, viciously meeping our children at lunch tables, on the swings, and in the classrooms when the teacher is not looking. What is your plan to win the War on Meeping?"

And Barack will say, "It takes a village to shine a spotlight on such under-recognized annoyances as meeping so that those who are green behind the ears about the horrors of meeping can cast the first stone at the birds in the bushes who meep...

a lot.

When I am president, I will end meeping and then withdraw our support of the nonmeepers in a safe and timely manner…

for change."

Followed by McCain's response of, "My captors in Vietnam tried using meeping on me, so I know what it feels like. My plan is to seek out the meepers and crush them in their sleep OR influence them to stop meeping through a series of tax credits based solely on their choosing to end their meeping ways.

I am a maverick of meeping and have a long history of stopping meepers in their tracks. Moreover, my maverick runningmate Sarah Palin has watched as the Russians tried to meep us across the Bering Strait. Her record of preventing international meeping is strong."

I don't know for sure what our third party candidate, Hot Tub Lizzy , might say.

But my point is that there IS hope!

Together, we can bring an end to senseless meeping across this great land.

How NOT to Make Friends

I'd like to dedicate this one to all the fourth graders out there.

Here's how to NOT make any friends at all:

Take your hand and shape it into a beak-like mouth.

Place your hand right next to the ear of the person sitting next to you on the lunch benches. (Mere millimeters away is best.)

Open and close your "mouth-hand" while repeatedly saying, "meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep meep."

Next, and this is key, ignore the pleas of the person to whom you are meeping ceaselessly, even if they say "please." Ignore his/her friends when they ask you stop as well.

Do this for the duration of lunch and you're pretty much a shoe-in for the "Friendless Loner" award in fourth grade.

How NOT to Get Back at Someone Who Won't Stop Meeping in Your Ear

Under any circumstances, do not concoct a plan with your friends to tell the teacher that the Meeper made his fingers into a gun and said, "I am going to shoot you" IF the Meeper did not indeed actually do that. While getting him suspended under false pretenses SOUNDS like a good way to stop the meeping, there are more effective avenues.

Besides, you're nine year olds and haven't perfected the dynamics of group lying. The students less experienced in "telling lies decided upon in committee;" students also known as "only children," will throw the rest of you under the bus without hesitation if they think it might save their own skins.

Bottom line, you will get caught and the consequences will be steep. You get 2 days detention while the Meeper gets off scot-free.

As an aside:

You'd be far better off tripping him and making it look like an accident. Kids fall all the time on the playground. How are we teachers supposed to know the difference?