Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is

Our school is having a talent show in June! Students have been submitting their applications to show off their singing, dancing, acting, and whatever else skills and the school is abuzz with excitement. I have been encouraging all my kids to try out for the show. Several of my girls are planning on doing a dance together, and I am so proud of them.

After school today, one of my girls asked the question I've been dreading.

Cassie: What are you going to do for the talent show, Ms. Lee?

Me: Me? Oh, I'm not going to be in it.

Cassie: What?!?! Why not?

Me: Because I don't have a talent to show off. I'm talentless.

Cassie: Talentless. I know you said that because we just studied the suffix –less today. Really, what are you going to do?

Me: Nothing. I would be worthless on stage.

Cassie: (eye roll) I get it Ms. Lee. Worthless – without worth. Now please answer my question.

Me: I am answering your question. I have no talents; therefore I have no business being in a talent show.

Cassie: But you told us EVERYONE has talent.

Me: I meant everyone but me.

Cassie: Sure you do! You can teach!

Me: Are you suggesting I get up on stage and teach a lesson?

Cassie: Well, it IS a talent.

The truth of the matter is, the thought of being on a stage in front of people terrifies me and this kid saw right through me.

Cassie: Is it that you're scared, Ms. Lee?

Me: ME! Scared? Of what?

Cassie: Of being on stage.

Me: Of course not! Are you crazy? I'm fearless! (Eye roll from Cassie) Well…actually, I suppose I might be a bit scared.

Cassie: But you talk in front of us all day long and that doesn't scare you.

Me: You guys are a captive audience and still think I walk on water. I don't have much to fear with you guys.

Cassie: We figured out you don't walk on water when you misspelled your own name on the board.

Me: I did that on purpose. I just wanted to see if you guys would catch it… (Damn)

Cassie: You told us that giving the talent show a try would be a lot of fun AND it would be a great way to build self-esteem.

Me: Trust me. I have plenty of self-esteem. I'm a teacher. Teachers feel we have so much knowledge that we must give it away to others. I'm doing fine in the self-esteem department.

Cassie: But you told us that by challenging ourselves to try something new and scary, like the talent show, would help us become better adults.

Me: I've already become an adult. It's too late for me.

Cassie: But you told us that everyone can make positive changes in their lives. EVERYONE!

Me: (What is WITH this kid?!?! Is she half parrot?) Yes, I suppose I did say that. (Now what do I do?!?!) Oh look! There's your mom! (Thank goodness!) See you tomorrow!

And now here I am. A teacher lacking in any talents, other than teaching evidently, who has just been called out by a nine year old.

I suppose she's right. I do have one talent.

Sarcasm – As a former principal once described it: The lowest form of humor.

Now how do I work that into a talent show act?