Teachers Rule, Sixth Graders Drool

Batter Up!

We had our annual sixth graders vs. the teachers softball game today.

We won!

Not that it was too hard to do. It's not like many of our kids play on softball or baseball teams. If we had played them in soccer, they would have creamed us.

To make matters worse, we don't actually "teach" them very many fundamentals either so those kids basically wing it out there. All the sixth grade teachers give them time to practice in the weeks prior to the game with a little instruction, but that's about it.

The teachers' team doesn't exactly have it made in the shade either. The biggest thing they have going against them is ME. Sure, I can swing a bat, keep my eye on the ball, and run if by some miracle that bat makes contact with the ball. I might even run in the right direction too.

But fielding a ball is a different matter. Catching is not my thing.

The other day, I asked a teacher sitting two feet away from me to pass me a marker. She cocked her arm back to toss it to me and asked if I was ready.

"Yup," I replied heartily and then the marker sailed right between my hands and landed on the floor.

"I thought you said you were ready?" she said.

"Did I mention I was in band in high school?" I replied sheepishly.

I guess my first instinct when something is hurtling towards my head is not to stay in its path. I guess it's to shut my eyes, scrunch up my face, and brace for impact in a fetal-ish position. I'll probably also squeal or scream or something like that as well.

So my team placed me waaaaayyyyy behind first base where only the odd leftie might hit a ball. PERFECT! The cherry on top was that first base was being played by our super athletic counselor who's played softball for 11 years. She was told she was to cover first base and Edna.

As the game progressed, and mercifully nothing came my way in left-right-whatever-the-heck field I was in, I became a bit bored. So I decided to try to get The Wave started with the spectators.

I know, I know… shouldn't I have been manning my position? Really! What are the chances I'm going to catch anything anyway? An empty field has a better chance of fielding a ball than I do.

But I did learn a valuable lesson today.

No matter how hard you try, first graders do not get the wave.

I started The Wave with the third graders on the end, then on to the fourth graders seated next to them, but once it got to those little first graders, they just sat and waved AT me. I tried again and again, had kids model what we're looking for, reinforced when I saw first graders doing it right, but to no avail.

Who knew standing up out of your chair while simultaneously raising your arms above your head and yelling "WhhoooOOOOoo" would be so difficult?

And, to my shock, the game continued on without me. I did eventually return to no-man's land and a ball was popped up in my direction, but I think my shrieks of "oh darn, oh darn,
oh darn!" drew that wonderful first base counselor to my rescue because she ran like the wind and snatched it right out of the air.

When I reflect on it, I'm not even sure I raised my glove. I think I just stood there like an idiot shouting "oh darn."

Oh, darn.