Kickball Queen

I am not athletic.

In any way.

At all.

Ever.

But that doesn't stop me from participating the Teachers vs. 6th Graders annual kickball game.

There was great news this year!

I did NOT hit any kids in the face with a ball during that game.
It was a refreshing change...

What DID I do?

1. Cheered on a teacher who ran clear across the field to get a ball that was dangerously close to becoming my responsibility.

2. Made student spectators stand so I could drag their chairs out to the outfield and sit in them while I played. Assistant Right Field, to be precise.

3. Took the "long way" out to the the outfield so I'd miss most of the inning at times, (Most times...)

4. Convinced a teacher's teenaged daughter who was visiting for the day to run for me when I was up to kick.

5. Called another teacher "delusional" when he suggested I "kick the ball low." (As if I have ANY control over where or how high that thing is gonna go.)

6. Took about 98.9% of the credit for us KILLING those 6th graders.

Take THAT, athletic skils!

A Little Too Open House

At Open House this year, I had a fun little conversation with a fourth grader from my class and her second grade sister.

Me: Wow! That's a nice diorama. That's a good grade on it too! Did you make it?

2nd Grader: No. My mommy did.

4th Grader (trying to save face): You helped!

2nd: No I didn't.

4th: Sure you did. You colored and painted.

2nd: No I didn't.

4th: You told Mom where to put stuff in the shoebox.

2nd: No I didn't. She made it after I went to bed.

4th: Well, you're not supposed to admit THAT to a teacher! You have a lot to learn. 

A Toes to You

Not school related, but funny nonetheless.

I got a pedicure recently. The lady in the chair next to me was a little wacky, and the lady doing her pedi did not speak great English.

Wacky Lady: I want a flower on my big toe. I don't care what color. Make it red. No, make it black.

Pedi Lady: What color?

WL: Red! No, black. Make it black.

PL: So, red?

WL: Sure. That's fine. No, wait, make it black.

PL: Sooooo, what color?

WL: Red.

PL: I'll make it red.

WL: No, black. I want black.

PL: Ok. ok. I'll make it for you.

She got her flower.

It was purple.

Boy Meets Girl

One of the kids' favorite topics in science is magnetic forces.

I integrate Language Arts standards into my Science instruction, so we read a little story about a lonely magnet who can't ever get near his friends. They are alike and keep repelling away from each other, as magnets do when like poles face each other.  Then one day, he meets a girl magnet who is the opposite of him, and he has an instant "attraction" to her.

Then we had to talk about the multiple meanings for the word "attraction" since many of my kids are second language learners.

And one kids says, "I get it. Attraction is what my mom feels when she sees a guy with a nice butt!"

Yes. Yes, that's it exactly. Be sure to tell your mom you shared that in class.
She'll be so proud of you.