169th Carnival of Education

It's back! The 169th Carnival of Education is underway. The Science Goddess has the road trip on the big yellow bus under control over on What It's Like On the Inside. Maybe I'm just emotional this week, but I was so moved by Mamacita's story on Scheiss Weekly about her encounter with a former student and his memories of her class. Let's just say, it wasn't the test prep he remembered, and ain't that the way is should be! With all the required test prep we do, I wonder if my students will have any fond memories of my class once they've grown up...

Oh, and I am on the road trip too! The story about my run-in with a flying hot dog (and, for the record, it was NOT "just a grasshopper") at an assembly is being shared at the back of the bus.

Check out the Carnival and read some great blogs!

Thanks A Lot, Mister Teacher

Well, it looks like I’ve been tagged for a meme by Mister Teacher. I truly enjoy his blog and have every intention of purchasing and devouring his novel Learn Me Good while I am on vacation (starting at 2:22 tomorrow!!!!!!). According to people in the know, it is “groundbreaking” and “will invigorate even the most atrophied smiling muscles.” My smiling muscles could use a workout right now!

First things first:

The Rules

1. The rules of the game get posted at the beginning.

2. Each player answers the questions about themselves.

3. At the end of the post, the player then tags 5-6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know they’ve been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

4. Let the person who tagged you know when you’ve posted your answer.



1. What was I doing 10 years ago?

Ten years ago I was teaching. I have been at the same school for my entire career, but 10 years ago I was teaching third grade. Unlike today, I did not have my own classroom, so the 4 third grade teachers shared 3 classrooms, all which had been decorated by the 2 veteran teachers with whom I teamed. They were rife with Suzie’s Zoo bulletin board characters and charming little accents all over the place. Years later, when I finally got my own classroom, you’d think I’d be ecstatic at the opportunity to decorate it myself. Ummm, no. I was all ready to just use the same paper and borders left up by the previous teacher because I am NOT a details girl. My good friend, who teaches in another district, almost cried when she learned this fact though, and she came in and decorated my room. It’s adorable, but none of my doing…just like 10 years ago.


2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today (not in any particular order):

Finish drinking this divine almond champagne in my glass.

Refill the glass with more almond champagne and drink that too.

Eat dinner which, in retrospect, probably should have occurred before I began drinking the almond champagne.

Clean the cat box and parrot cage without spilling crap and seeds all over the place because I am doing it after drinking a bottle of almond champagne. (Let’s face it; I’ll probably never get to dinner.)

Go to sleep, hopefully in my bed and not on the kitchen floor cradling an empty champagne bottle.


3. Snacks I enjoy:

Almond champagne, anything with peanut butter, anything with chocolate, anything with chocolate AND peanut butter, almond champagne


4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire:

Pay someone else to clean the cat box and parrot cage.

Quit my job (sorry super-devoted teachers) and travel the world.

Move to Santa Barbara, buy the house next door to Oprah, buy a few horses, adopt more than a few dogs, and exchange cookie recipes with the richest woman in America.


5. Three of my bad habits:

Interrupting people (In my defense, what I have to say is clearly more important and interesting.)

Cracking my knuckles

Drinking before I eat dinner


6. 5 places I have lived:

Buffalo, NY (Go Sabres…next season, that is.)

Tustin, CA

Another house in Tustin, CA

Lake Forest, CA

Another house in Lake Forest, CA


7. 5 jobs I have had:

Babysitter (I was 12) – I made pretty good money for a kid who had nowhere to spend it.

Hostess in a restaurant – Started when I was 15, and made many of the good friends I have today.

Busboy (busperson?) in a restaurant - Working my way up!

Waitress in a restaurant – At this point, I hated the food service industry. I was the grumpiest waitress in the history of waitresses, but customers thought it was just a shtick to make more money. Here’s an actual exchange between me and a customer (who wasn’t even my table.)

Rude Man: (grabbing my arm as I walk by) Fork!
Rude Waitress (aka me): Ummmm, SPOON!
Rude Man: I need a fork.
Rude Waitress: Oh! Based on the way you randomly shouted that at me, I thought we were playing a lively game of word association.
Rude Man: Well, I need a fork.
Rude Waitress: Well, there is a better way to ask for it than that!

And then I walked away and never did get him that fork. His wife thought I was so “cute” she came over and tipped me at the end of their meal. Dummy…

Restaurant Manager - Are you beginning to see how I spent my college years?


8. 5 People I want to know more about:

Samantha at RawDrip.com. And NOOOO, it’s not a porn site. I’ll be honest, there is not much more I need to learn about her. She is my oldest and dearest friend and has one of the most honest and insightful blogs about parenthood, children, marriage, and life. She is not a teacher, but I have ALWAYS felt education has missed out due to her absence. Her move across the country several years ago has left a hole in my heart, but through her blog I can still experience her growing children and be a party to her astute observations about others. Now start allowing people to put comments on your blog Trin… I mean Samantha! Your readers want a voice!

Mimi – And not just because this is a meme and her name is Mimi. I’ve missed her for the past few weeks as she has been too “strung out” to keep us up-to-date on her goings on. Her take on the changing culture of teaching and interpersonal relationships at school are shared with wit and compassion. I get excited each time Google Reader tells me she has a new posting!

My Bellringers – Although she teaches high school, I relate to her so much! She has a refreshingly happy outlook on teaching, without being unrealistic. She is one of the reasons I enjoy reading teacher blogs so much. We can mock ourselves, our students, and our faculty and still be quality educators. I am also very impressed that, as of this posting, she has not called anyone a big fat stupid head in 55 days, 18 hours, 49 minutes, and 18 seconds…make that 19 seconds…now 20 seconds. You get the picture.

Wamblings – A music teacher with a funny bone! She offers hysterical anecdotes about life and family that are not to be missed. She is also great with inspirational and observational comments on other people’s blogs and I thoroughly enjoy our “comment conversations.” I count myself lucky to find her thoughts on my blog.

Haha – You’re Reading This – Sadly, I have no idea what her name is, I have loved reading about her class. Her blog seems to be relatively new, but has great stories there. She has that witty and observational humor that we all love. I hope she continues writing and finds a big audience. She is a joy to read.

Well, I’m done…both with this meme and my champagne. I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed drinking it.

I mean… I hope you read as much as I drank.

I mean... Screw it… See ya next posting.

Joe C. - Day 18

I hope you all enjoyed my Day 17 update on the Cussing Bandit, but Day 18 gets even better.

On Friday, Day 18 of his hopefully short enrollment in my classroom, Joe C. was reported to have a pocketknife in his backpack that he had been brandishing at other students all week.

My first thought, of course, was not surprise. It was, "Why are you just telling me this NOW!?!?! He's been doing this for 4 days already!?!?! Someone could have been seriously hurt!"

I called Joe to my desk and asked him about the knife. He admitted to bringing it on Monday, but swore he had left it at home since then. He sure broke a sweat though when I told him he needed to empty his backpack in front of me.

Shocker of shockers, I found it in the only pocket he neglected to unzip. It was one heck of a pocket knife with about a 5 inch locking blade. He had been carrying it up his sleeve during recess and lunch every day last week. When I asked him if he understood the consequences for bringing a knife to school he said, "I could be suspended or expelled."

His expulsion is pending school board approval, but it is doubtful it will be approved. He's diagnosed ADHD, and a case could be made that he cannot recognize long-term consequences.

According to his answer to me, he sure does...

How's Joe C. Doing?

Thanks for asking! I suspected many of you were losing sleep wondering how The Cussing Bandit was doing in my class. Here's an update.

It turns out, he's a lot like the other Joe C. my students feared he might be. The new and improved Joe C. is definetely new, but the only improvements seem to be in destructiveness.

To date, Joe has:

- Started a food fight at lunch that resulted in the entire class losing recess (VP's orders.)

- Punched a student in the stomach.

- Gotten up and walked out of class without permission no fewer than 5 times.

- Fled from line when we were walking from one place to another 3 times.

- Bitten a boy on the arm hard enough to draw blood.

- Pinched a girl on the back, leaving a deep purple bruise.

- Bullied others in the bathroom so often that he has been banned from using the boys' restroom and must be accompanied to the nurse's office each time he needs to relieve himself.

- Stolen another student's lunch.

- Went through another student's desk and removed personal items, wrote his name on them with a Sharpie, and then danced around in front of the actual owner of said items chanting "Finders Keepers, Losers Weepers."

- True to his nickname, cussed at the lunch lady.

- Not returned one single piece of homework.

- Forged his mother's signature...twice. (I can offer him some advice on this one.)

- Lost library privileges because he creatively "edited" the artwork in his library books.

- And had his mother called into the office twice, his aunt once, and the police once.


He's been in my class for 17 school days.

I was right. This has been fun!

(One and a half days until vacation. One and a half days until vacation, One and a half days...)