. Regurgitated Alpha Bits: Most Popular

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Most Popular

Like most staffs, we have our share of oddballs. There is one person in particular on our staff that grates on the nerves of everyone. She is caustic, overbearing, insensitive, and has inexcusable table manners. Her gruff personality makes conversing with her uncomfortable, and that's on a good day. She is also a bit of a storyteller.

Recently, she mentioned that she was one of the most popular people in her high school class. Based on how she behaves now, we found this to border juuuuust a bit on the ridiculous.

Since she wasn't in the lounge today, we did what any thoughtless and catty group of people would do. We talked about her behind her back. (No judging. You know you've done it too…) It was concluded there was only one way she could have been so popular.


Being in a school of one, she could potentially be:

  • Class President (and win in a landslide!)
  • Class Vice President, Secretary, and Treasurer
  • Valedictorian
  • Salutatorian
  • Speaker at her graduation
  • Head Cheerleader
  • Back-up Cheerleader
  • Girl rejected from cheerleading team, sadly cheering JV
  • Captain of the football, baseball, basketball, badminton, tennis, ping pong, and soccer teams (A multi-sport athlete!)
  • Have the highest GPA in the history of the school
  • Drill Team Captain (And Tall Flags too!)
  • Play first chair clarinet, tuba, kettle drum, and kazoo
  • Homecoming Queen
  • And King
  • Guaranteed a date to the Sadie Hawkins Dance
  • Head of the Prom Committee
  • Prom Queen
  • And King
  • And the entire Prom Court
  • Chair the yearbook committee
  • Editor of the school newspaper
  • Fastest runner on the track team
  • Voted Most Likely to Succeed, Best Smile, Friendliest, and Most Talented
  • The class clown
  • The class nerd
  • The class jock
  • The class outcast
  • School bully
  • Victim of school bully
  • Record holder in any area a school keeps records
  • Teacher's Pet
  • Lunch Assistant
  • Hall Monitor

AND still be Most Popular!

She certainly does not mind talking about herself, and it's no wonder! (Evidently, we don't mind talking about her either…)

Man, I wish I could have been homeschooled.


Wamblings said...

LOL My kids were home schooled. For them it meant mixed grade classroom. It also meant they had to share the superlatives.

Edna Lee said...

That's great! I have a great deal of respect for parents who take on such a huge responsibility. If you could meet this lady at my school, you would find yourself questioning how she could have POSSIBLY been popular.