. Regurgitated Alpha Bits: Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Put Your Money Where Your Mouth is

Our school is having a talent show in June! Students have been submitting their applications to show off their singing, dancing, acting, and whatever else skills and the school is abuzz with excitement. I have been encouraging all my kids to try out for the show. Several of my girls are planning on doing a dance together, and I am so proud of them.

After school today, one of my girls asked the question I've been dreading.

Cassie: What are you going to do for the talent show, Ms. Lee?

Me: Me? Oh, I'm not going to be in it.

Cassie: What?!?! Why not?

Me: Because I don't have a talent to show off. I'm talentless.

Cassie: Talentless. I know you said that because we just studied the suffix –less today. Really, what are you going to do?

Me: Nothing. I would be worthless on stage.

Cassie: (eye roll) I get it Ms. Lee. Worthless – without worth. Now please answer my question.

Me: I am answering your question. I have no talents; therefore I have no business being in a talent show.

Cassie: But you told us EVERYONE has talent.

Me: I meant everyone but me.

Cassie: Sure you do! You can teach!

Me: Are you suggesting I get up on stage and teach a lesson?

Cassie: Well, it IS a talent.

The truth of the matter is, the thought of being on a stage in front of people terrifies me and this kid saw right through me.

Cassie: Is it that you're scared, Ms. Lee?

Me: ME! Scared? Of what?

Cassie: Of being on stage.

Me: Of course not! Are you crazy? I'm fearless! (Eye roll from Cassie) Well…actually, I suppose I might be a bit scared.

Cassie: But you talk in front of us all day long and that doesn't scare you.

Me: You guys are a captive audience and still think I walk on water. I don't have much to fear with you guys.

Cassie: We figured out you don't walk on water when you misspelled your own name on the board.

Me: I did that on purpose. I just wanted to see if you guys would catch it… (Damn)

Cassie: You told us that giving the talent show a try would be a lot of fun AND it would be a great way to build self-esteem.

Me: Trust me. I have plenty of self-esteem. I'm a teacher. Teachers feel we have so much knowledge that we must give it away to others. I'm doing fine in the self-esteem department.

Cassie: But you told us that by challenging ourselves to try something new and scary, like the talent show, would help us become better adults.

Me: I've already become an adult. It's too late for me.

Cassie: But you told us that everyone can make positive changes in their lives. EVERYONE!

Me: (What is WITH this kid?!?! Is she half parrot?) Yes, I suppose I did say that. (Now what do I do?!?!) Oh look! There's your mom! (Thank goodness!) See you tomorrow!

And now here I am. A teacher lacking in any talents, other than teaching evidently, who has just been called out by a nine year old.

I suppose she's right. I do have one talent.

Sarcasm – As a former principal once described it: The lowest form of humor.

Now how do I work that into a talent show act?


CaliforniaTeacherGuy said...

High or low, humor is humor, so I'm sure that enterprising YOU will figure out a way to work sarcasm into a talent show act!

Edna Lee said...

Well, thank you! In reality, it's doubtful anyone will be seeing me on a stage anytime soon. I'm just a big chicken, I guess.

Wamblings said...

Don a slouch hat and coveralls and maybe add some clown makeup Emmet Kelley style and push the broom across stage between acts. The kids will LOVE it and you're off the hook. :P Voice of experience? In a word, YES.

Edna Lee said...

That's a great idea! Thanks!